Tostitoast!
Lil Caesars
Should have put the oven on aloha setting!
βFrozen pizzaβ said my son, rolling his eyes.
βExactly, my son. Frozen pizza.β
My ma was making a handmade pizza and was working the dough while my gf and I watched. I told my ma I wanted to help....
Gf says "oh so you know how to cook?"
As I grab the dough and start working it "I just want to feel kneeded"
Eyes rolled right outta the room
So I just asked my kid if she wanted pizza for lunch, she says yes. So I ask now or in 15-20 minutes. She says now so I bring her out a frozen pizza. Got the groan and eye roll out of her!
OK... so did you ever notice how every time you spend 4 days alone in the woods and you make it out without a scratch or even a mosquito bite, and you're feeling all peaceful and relaxed and at one with the universe, you're not home 20 minutes and unloading the back of your truck when you slam your right shin into the trailer hitch... and amid the flashing white stars around you, your fists clench, your teeth grit, your body tenses and every "mean, nasty and ugly" word you ever read, heard, uttered or even imagined ("Wait... is #*&%#@!!! even a word??? Oh what the heck? It works!") goes tearing through your brain.... and eventually it passes and you keep working, surprised you're not even limping and it doesn't hurt more than it does... and almost an hour later, when you're finished and getting undressed to take your first hot shower in days, you see a lump on your shin the size of Rhode Island... and the first image that pops into your head is John Merrick yelling "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!... in fact, it literally looks like a second knee on your right leg... so you spend the rest of the evening keeping it elevated and icing it on and off, alternating between a blue gel pack and a bag of frozen peas.... and when you go to bed, you keep the gel pack on while you read and then take it off before you go to sleep... and then you wake up around 3AM and decide to check your shin and the swelling has gone down quite a bit... but since you still have several hours before you get up, you decide to ice it again... but the gel pack on the floor is no longer cold so you get up, walk to the kitchen and open the fridge... and after taking a bite of leftover pizza from last night (because... well, you're here and what the heck?), you go into the freezer, grab the bag of frozen peas and take them back to bed with you... but they're all frozen into one big solid ball and well, that won't do... so you lay the bag on the bed to pound it once or twice to break them up, but instead the bag bursts open and suddenly there are frozen peas sprayed all over the bed and rolling onto the floor... and all those words from yesterday come rushing back into your head as you kneel to gather them all up... but suddenly your anger completely vanishes and you can't help laughing to yourself as you think, "gee, I can't remember the last time I pea'd the bed in the middle of the night"???
So last night we were at a carnival type thing and there was a food truck there called "town name Bite Me" where we ordered some pizza.
Anyway, I pretended I couldn't see the sign and asked her what it said. She just responded with "Bite me", so that is exactly what I did. I was awarded a couple of weird looks and a colossal eye roll.
Cut to this morning: I got up to find my better half talking to my mum. She was eating some leftover pizza while I walked up behind her, unnoticed. Mum asked where we got the pizza. Once again, she replied "bite me" so like a lion I went for the kill. I got dealt some swift justice for that one.
While eating pizza for my daughter's birthday...
Daughter: "Daddy, I'm 5. Were you five when you were small like me? But then you turned six."
Me: "Yes, but then I went to the doctor and got better."
wife eyes start rolling
Daughter: "Daddy, I want be eight."
Me:"So does that slice of pizza"
My wife dropped her slice and buried her face in her hands. I think she was trying to keep her eyes from falling out.
Wife was opening a roll of pizza dough and it popped open. She jumped and screeched then looked at me wide-eyed saying "That doesn't normally happen."
My reply:
"Dat reaction dough."
I think she hates me now.
Went out to town the other day to La Pizzeria
GF was looking at the menu and said: "I wonder how big the 10 inch pizza is"
Me: About 10 inches
Eyes were rolled.
Alright so I was at the bar last night and they had TMNT themed pizzas, which was cool. I texted one of my little brothers about it and he said "woah, no way, show me that's badass."
I took a picture of the menu but couldn't quite get the whole thing in one snap so I said "k here you go, couldn't get the whole menu but you get the picture."
My boyfriend rolled his eyes and I was laughing hysterically.
Lil Caesars
Lil Caesars
Lil Caesars
