Pirate puns arrr coming
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ederd97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Looking for beer-related pirate puns

I work at a beer brewery where we give tours. We can dress up tomorrow and I’m a pirate. What are so beer-related pirate puns? I’m at the end of my plank here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OMCburner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Christmas/Pirate Puns Request

I know this isn’t entirely relevant to the subreddit, but I’m not sure where else to ask. Can someone think of a pun to combine Christmas and Pirates, ideally one that could be used as a team name?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FakeSalsa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Pirate puns!

A bunch of us are going at pirates for Halloween, need a bunch of pirate puns to pretend I'm clever.

I'm sure other people will benefit from this too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/23_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2014
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πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/celt1299
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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DOGHOUSE DIARIES | Pirates pun chain thedoghousediaries.com/59…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soulmanz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Readers, give me all of your pirate puns.

I am asking my girlfriend to the Homecoming dance in about a month, and it's been a running joke to be as cheesy as possible in our relationship. For this year, I was brainstorming and I saw a pirate costume in my attic. So I am going to take her on a date to a nearby lake, and then my friends are going to row up in a canoe dressed as pirates. They are going to somehow give her a treasure chest for safekeeping (I haven't really thought all of this through yet), and inside will hopefully be one of your puns asking her. Please help arrrr/puns!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmcclure108
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2012
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Chain of pirate puns (Doghouse Diaries)

So, this set were mine, ended up in webcomic form. Also, new dad, so I qualify.

Follow the link in my name below the webcomic if you want to read a very short story I wrote which received the reviews:

>This is the most intricately set up pun I have ever heard.

and

>This is absolutely hilarious. I have to fav this. Seriously, you handled the build-up and reveal perfectly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rumblestiltsken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
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How often do pirate attacks occur?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaltingHall0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?

Crew: I I Captain.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

You’d think it’d be R, but it be the C!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arsenaldavis10
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What did the Pirates of the Caribbean order from the Bakery?

They said they wanted a torte to go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorJoss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye Matey.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwissCheeto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Why can pirates never finish the alphabet?

Because they always get lost at C.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_soul1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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How do pirates resuscitate people?

By using C.P.Arrrrrrrr!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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New Pirates of the Caribbean film!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xenophilius93
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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How do pirates like their women?

sCURVY

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πŸ‘€︎ u/savageprofit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What is a pirate’s favorite kind of socks

Arrrrrrrrgyle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndlessDadJokes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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Where do you find the best pirates?

Costco. You can get a 4 pound apple pie for like $12.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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What's a pirates favorite letter?

(in a pirate voice of course) You'd think it'd be 'rrrr' but his true love be the 'c'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamInAtmos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Why do old pirates sometimes walk with a limp?

Arrrthritis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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What does a pirate say when he takes his car into the garage with a dodgy exhaust.

" Aaaaarrrr.....she blows."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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What is a pirate's favorite letter?

He likes the "r", but he loves the "c"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrassOrchidBlades
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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A child with a speech impediment is dressed as a pirate. A man asks what are you. He says he is a birate. You mean a pirate? Yes a birate. Oh well then where are your buccaneers?

On each side of my buckin head you buckin idiot!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/durangozac
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Pirate gets his ears pierced. How much did it cost.

A buccaneer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevin407
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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A little pirate humour youtu.be/kJpBkpziSjQ
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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How much do pirates pay for their earrings?

A buccaneer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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How do pirates cure sunburnt acne?

Aloe, pop it

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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A pirate dad joke

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg, asking β€œHow’d you get that?”

β€œAye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked β€œHow’d you get that?”

β€œAye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor then pointed to the pirate’s eyepatch, again asking β€œHow’d you get that?”

β€œAye, a bird flew by and shat in me eye.”

The sailor responded with β€œThat’s not as impressive as the first two”.

β€œAye, it was me first day with me hook.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DelaneyElias
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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How does a pirate clean cards?

He swabs the deck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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A guy sees a pirate walking down the street with a steering wheel in his pants...

He yells, hey! Hey, pirate! There's a steering wheel in your pants! Pirate says, Aarr, I know! It's driving me nuts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeelixOne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What did the pirate say in regards to his steering wheel belt buckle??

"It's driving me nuts."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cordur-Oy-Jones
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Why did the Pirate's Island have to quarantine?

Because their 'Arrr' number was too high...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why did a pirate drop out of school early?

he had seven c's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/artfillin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What's a pirates least favourite letter?

Dear Sir,

this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What's a pirates favorite part of his home?

The back yaaarrrrdd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeenyus47
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why does no one know where the pirate hid their treasure?

Because it's a seacret

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lowlz13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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What is a pirate's favorite PokΓ©mon?

Arrrrrrrrrbok

My son made this up and I've never been more proud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toobs623
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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A pirate walked into a bar. He had a steering wheel in his pants.

He said to the bartender, β€œArr, it’s driving me nuts!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/officialsmolkid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What did the pirate say when he retired?

iiiim eighty!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Why did the author write about pirates?

They thought it was cannon to the story.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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What do you call a pirate who's mad because he can't pee?

irate

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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What's a pirates favourite letter ?

'P' Without P he'd be 'irate'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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How do pirates resolve disputes?

Arrrbitration.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/littlelolipop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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How do Pirates treat sunburn?

ALOE, POPPET

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carrotflowerking2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

AYE MATEY!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Some people think a pirates favourite letter is R

But it be the C!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeersForSmarch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obamacheesus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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