Using my telescope, I could barely make out the British coin worth one fourth of a penny after I launched it into the upper atmosphere...
Lawyer says, my client is trapped in a penny
I bought a microphone in England for a penny
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?
He didn't have a lot of common cents.
My Aunt Penny keeps coming back to life after her cremation
I guess it’s true... a penny urned is a penny saved.
Did you hear about the neighbors floor made out of 10,000 pennies?
Looks like a hundred bucks!
I just learned how the penny press at the mint works.
It makes cents if you think about it.
Making pennies is very practical...
Doesn't he need to change? I bet his best friend's name is penny.
If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs,
Math can be so hard sometimes. The problem was, "Sally had 32 pennies. She gave 32 pennies away to her friend Robin. How many pennies does Sally have left?"
Penny for your thoughts on the coin shortage?
I can't make heads or tails of it. It just doesn't make cents. I guess the way people pay needs some change.
There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.
My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece
What do you call a cage filled with Quarters, Dimes, and Pennies?
This just happened: I explained to my 11 year-old niece that wheat pennies are/were a thing. She didn’t believe me, so she looked it up on grandma’s phone. To our surprise, we learned that there are some people selling wheat pennies online for *thousands* to *TENS* *of* *thousands* of dollars.
To which I said, “That doesn’t make cents.”
How long until the penny drops on this shocker
I was paying for my groceries at the store when I realized I was short a few pennies.
I asked the cashier if they had a take-a-penny leave-a-penny. They said "No", to which I retorted "that doesn't make any cents".
Daughter had a balloon with a penny in it.
So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could “build your own butterfly” with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.
Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If you’ve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.
My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, “This looks like a condom with a penny in it.” And I said, “That’s why they call it a money shot.”
My wife and kids laughed when they saw me chase a penny which rolled down the drain.
They were having fun at my ex pence.
How many pennies in a roll of pennies have a Lincoln face?
It's actually one per cent.
In for a penny out for a pound
I asked God, “How long is a million years?” He said, “A minute.” I asked God, “How much is a million dollars?” He said, “A penny.” So I asked God for a penny and he said.,,
Did you hear about the penny that was forced to do something against its will?
It did not give con cent.
People who died penny less didn't accept change
I've just been scammed! Someone offered me a penny for my thoughts but...
Before I knew it, they had gotten my two cents.
The fact that we're still minting the penny even though it costs nearly twice as much as it's worth makes no cents.
My friend showed me his plans to produce a machine that makes pennies. At first, his concept didn't plausible...
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny!
Judge: Stuck in a penny?
Lawyer: Yes, he’s in a cent!
How do you measure the size of a picture made out of pennies?
The plural of penny is pence
But we just say pennies because it makes more cents
Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins
Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage
Tesco's are putting vodka up a penny tomorrow to £20.
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's £19.99
My wife doesn't like my rare penny collection...
She says it lacks common cents
Today at the store the cashier gave me 2 pennies in change and said have a nice day, don’t spend it all in one place.
I said thanks for your 2 cents.
Did you know, in 1910 the term "Penny Arcade" was first coined.
She's penny wise
Lou Costello: There’s only one problem with our romance; She’s penny wise.
Bud Abbott: Marilyn’s penny wise?
Lou Costello: Yeah, I ain’t got a penny and she’s wise to it!
Asked my dad "what do you think about abolishing the penny?"
He said, that idea is centsless
If you are wise with dollars you'd be rich, what would you be if you were wise with pennies?
If I had a penny for every time someone didn't understand me
I had no idea how my wife melted all those pennies together
My wife is furious at my rare penny collection.
She says it completely lacks common cents.
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