Original joke time! The apples I had to remove the peals from all appeared in twos, matched for use together.

They pared up nicely.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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My girlfriend started an all fruit diet yesterday, the house is FULL of the stuff.

ItsΒ enoughΒ toΒ makeΒ aΒ mangoΒ crazy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I can’t see why everyone likes bananas

I just don’t see the a-peal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shogun012
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Tip jar at a local pizza place i.reddituploads.com/a81d6…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbenet31
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
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I have been looking for an apple I lost a few hours ago...

So far, the search has remained fruitless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tl0306
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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Got a new job as a church bell ringer.

Only my first day so they're just showing me the ropes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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How does Shaq eat a banana?

He Shaquille O’Peals it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punmaster05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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How does my toddler let me know she’s hungry?

She peals her mini baby bell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockplops
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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Thanksgiving Pun

My Aunt with half a plate left: I don't think I can eat anymore, this meat is just not appealing to me.

Me: Have a potato, it has a peal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stillbourne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
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Guest speaker dad joke.

So we had a guest speaker in my class today, (victimology). He had just finished introduced himself and since we have a smaller class he wanted everyone to introduce themselves as well. He wanted to know our names career path ideas, and one interesting fact. Everyone's going around saying the typical stuff in a criminal just class and not very interesting facts. Then a fellow student states her interesting fact that she has never peeled a banana. Everyone was kinda shocked, and when asked why she had explained that she got really sick one time when she was young after having eaten a banana given to her by her mom, (pre peeled). He then looked at her and said, "well I can see why you don't find them very apPEALing...." And then burst out into laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laxerado1313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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