I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Another chapter from u/eruwenn and myself.
----------------------
The food hall was cavernous. A myriad of vendors lined the walls, and even more operated booths, carts and stalls scattered throughout the vast number of tables. Overhead hovered drones that wove between the small dividers and planters that broke up the space to create more intimate settings for the diners. Penny had reserved one of the more secluded spots, one surrounded by foliage on three sides and featuring a small pond with a stone wall behind it on the fourth. The soothing sound of water trickling down brickwork combined with the presence of plants around them to shut out a good deal of the hustle and bustle from the other diners.
The table was round, with a few too many seats, but they soon arranged themselves so that Britney, her father, and Penny were spaced between the newcomers and could offer advice on dishes. The adaptive seating rose, and lowered, as needed.
“Ok, everyone pay attention.” The tower assistant raised her voice enough to quiet the excited chatter. “Normally, you would have the option of walking around, speaking to the vendors and showing them your wristband to get recommendations, and making your food choices that way. However, given the size of our group, we're going with delivery so that we don't lose anybody.”
Britney groaned. She loved trying new stalls and dishes she had never seen before. “Can we at least go to Pierre’s for dessert?”
Sam rolled his eyes at her question. “Let’s see how we feel after dinner, we may not want dessert. The salads from Lettuce Be Friends are very filling.”
The young girl raised an eyebrow sceptically. “There’s always room for dessert.”
The nutrition-conscious father sighed, knowing that this was a battle he was destined to lose. “Well, maybe we can get something with fruit?”
Penny was trying not to smirk at the exchange, and she helpfully mentioned, “They do outstanding strawberry tarts. Real strawberries, and the cream is from Hiagrus cows.”
“Let’s see to our guests first,” Sam said wearily. “Then we can debate the value of fruit that is both glazed in syrup, and sitting on top of enriched cream and a sweetened tart base.”
“Of course,” the tower assistant said, then turned to the
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
I grew up making flan regularly from a family recipe, which involves making a dry caramel to coat the baking dish. I have done this dozens and dozens of times with zero issue, and watched my mom do it on literally hundreds of occasions.
The last dinner party I hosted before the pandemic, it took me, no joke, four tries to get something resembling even a crystallized caramel, which I was finally able to salvage with some water. I thought it was a fluke because I'd been prepping and cooking for two days in my tiny and hot Brooklyn apartment.
Then, yesterday, I went to make a tarte tatin, and I again ruined three attempted caramels. I was following the King Arthur recipe, which has you melt butter first, but when that failed twice I tried a dry method from Smitten Kitchen. With both techniques it seemed like the sugar just would not dissolve; with the SK recipe, the dry sugar did start to melt, but once I followed her instructions on stirring (with, of course, a dry spoon) it immediately seized. Again, I had to finally save it by dumping a bunch of water in to dissolve the sugar and then reduce back down.
What am I doing wrong? And why has it started at this stage in my life, and continued across multiple apartments and stoves?
They’re on standbi
Hi all, long time Parisian here, I thought it'd be a nice exercise to give my own insights in an evolving post to guide people new to the city, staying only for a few days or planning to live here for a while, and interested by "the other side of the postcard".
First and foremost, to get a general understanding of the city checkout the great wiki put up by some redditors https://www.reddit.com/r/paris/wiki/index. Also, the reddit search tool being not really efficient, to improve your search in the r/paris subreddit history, you can use third-party tools like https://redditsearch.io or https://redditcommentsearch.com
Second, a small disclaimer: this post doesn't aim at being a full guide on Paris but a selection of alternative or less touristic things to do. Post size being limited, choices have to be made : famous landmarks and museums are skipped, nice residential areas omitted. NB : websites in English are promoted when they exists.
"C'est parti mon kiki !!" (40 yo boomer ©)
EVENTS SEARCH
- Facebook events page is often the most complete, prefer the mobile version that displays events for a specific date without the need of any keywords. Facebook mobile events search (obviously display is not optimized for desktop)
- Concerts agenda
- Lylo (general)
- ParisJazzClub (en) ( jazz)
- Resident Advisor or Shotgun (techno)
- ParisKiwi (alternative), check this for a focus on alternative music venues
- General information on Cultural events
- SortirAParis (en)
- Que Faire A paris (official website of the city)
- Timeout (en)
- OFFI
- Paris Etudiant
- Enlarge Your Paris : lovely name heh ? Only in french, focuses on the greater paris i.e the surrounding suburbs, great to go beyond the cliches a
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.
