A list of puns related to "Parsec Awards"
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **DECEMBER 29** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
Please note: ages listed are for character/voice, not age of actor.
ROLES FOR WOMEN/NON-BINARY FEMININE:
Cornelia (Late 60s-70s sounding/ Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
Never one to back down, unafraid to call it like she sees it, Cornelia is nobody’s fool and looks out for those around her.
LINE 1: (proudly) I don’t NEED backup. When I worked at Kline’s I carried a derringer in my purse every day.
LINE 2: Emma’s out here saying hello to people, to give them a nice greeting and to have a nice moment in her day. What are you doing to make anything better?
LINE 3: Oh, if it’s Tuesday then yeah they’re playin’ bingo.
Emma (80+ sounding/ Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
A very nice old lady who is not altogether there.
LINE 1: (cheerful) Hello.
LINE 2: (upset) I don’t like this conversation.
LINE 3: (pleasantly shocked) I’m… fine! How are you doing?
Grace (Late 40s-50s sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
Grace is new to the neighborhood and looking to enjoy her stay there.
LINE 1: Oh hello. How are you?
LINE 2: Just out for my daily walk! How are you all? How’s your day been?
LINE 3: I’m new to the neighborhood. My name’s Grace.
Kate (20s-40s sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
Kate is married to Jared and is the more grounded of the two. Usually supportive of his hair-brained schemes, she does have her limits.
LINE 1: Jared, what are you doing? I’m trying to get some work done downstairs but you’re distracting me like crazy repeating yourself over and over.
LINE 2: (mischievous/playful) Hold on, let me try something.
LINE 3: (disgusted) I can’t believ
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **OCTOBER 28** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
ROLES FOR WOMEN/NON-BINARY FEMININE:
DAWKINS (20s-40s sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
A ship-board AI with, shall we say, a combative personality. Works with Taylor on a salvage vessel out on what could potentially be a very lucrative mission. Role requires some swearing.
LINE 1: The problem there is that since whatever rocket scientist designed this rig didn’t think to put so much as a single camera in it, rendering myself completely blind so you can sing early twentieth century—
LINE 2: Ooooooh, oh no, it got erased in a magnetic storm last month, sorry.
LINE 3: There’s nobody there. I’ve been checking echolocation, air pressure sensors, temperature, and you are the only person standing on this roof.
TAYLOR (30+ sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
A seasoned space salvager who has definitely been around the block a few times. Knows the job, fights for her salvage, definitely likes to remind Dawkins who’s boss. Also, a lover of 20th century musicals… (singing does not have to be great, just in character!) Role requires some swearing.
LINE 1: (Singing quietly, at an odd cadence between footsteps) The ballroom was filled with fashion’s throng, it shone with a thousand lights. And there was a woman who passed along the fairest of all the sights… (song can be found here)
LINE 2: We jumped in-system about a hundred hours ago. Only been dirt-side about forty minutes. Why?
LINE 3: So I don’t know what your story is but there was nobody else here when I landed, which means salvage rights for this entire place are mine.
SALLY (20s-30s sounding/ Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
*Citizen Sa
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **AUGUST 25** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
DELTA (20s-40s/Any background/Any accent)
Delta is an overly-dramatic, debatably malevolent, inter-dimensional cosmic… being? With a podcast? Definitely has a sidekick. Big Brain energy here (as in Pinky and the).
LINE 1: (in the most overdone “this is the coolest stuff ever” voice) There is more in this world than what you perceive. Your senses are limited in ways you cannot even begin to comprehend. We exist in the shadows, in the periphery, on the edges of reality where thought blends with chance, where imagination and probability coexist and intermingle in an endless cosmic dance.
LINE 2: (normal voice) What commute? We exist outside of all time and space.
LINE 3: (Bad evil laughter) Work through it and try but fail to make it good. Give up at the end.
EPSILON (20s/Any background/Any accent)
Epsilon is Delta’s minion/partner in crime. Very impressed, they think Delta is the bee’s knees and are super-impressed with how smart and amazing Delta is. Lovably loopy though strangely grounded, they are the jelly to Delta’s peanut butter. Strong Pinky energy (as in and the Brain).
LINE 1: (off-mic a bit) Wow. … So deep! … So badass!
LINE 2: (trying to do a “cool voice” but sounding more like a peppy commercial announcer) We were put into place when the first perfect day led to…
LINE 3: (like a rallying cry) No perfect days!
LINE 4: (Bad evil laughter) Work through it and try but fail to make it good. Never give up.
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
LEONOR (20s-30s/Latina ONLY/Latin-American Accent/Cisgender or Transgender)
*Leonor is a witch! Just kidding. She’s a woman who is attracted to other women at a time when “stake burning” could be said aloud without conjuring images of a bbq gone wrong. Not one you w
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **APRIL 28**
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
BITS: (Any age/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)A cheerful, optimistic robot working on an assembly line aboard an orbiting space station alongside Bobs. Playful and innocent, they have feelings and original thoughts, so they should not sound robotic or detached.
LINE 1: (working at their station) Nut and bolt acquired... Nut and bolt threaded... Nut and bolt joined... (tosses bolt) Nut and bolt added to completed pile.
LINE 2: Good midday Zenith Bobs! (Beat) Bobs... Midday zenith has arrived earlier again today.
LINE 3: I love watching you work. You’re very good at your job! Even if you do it differently.
BOBS: (Any age/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)A real curmudgeon of a robot working on an assembly line aboard an orbiting space station alongside Bits. A realist and a “get the job done” type, they have feelings and original thoughts like Bits, so they also should not sound robotic or detached.
LINE 1: (starting their shift, long annoyed groan) Nut and bolt acquired... Nut and bolt threaded... Nut and bolt joined... (tosses bolt) Nut and bolt added to completed pile.
LINE 2: (responding to Bits) I doubt I shall enjoy the work. Good day, Bits.
LINE 3: Give 3 grunts each in response to: a) doing something you’ll tolerate but don’t like; b) Bits asking you to do something you like but you don’t want to admit it; c) recognizing a bad situation you have no real control over.
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
Owner: (40+/any ethnicity/French accent/Cisgender or Transgender)Gracious to her guests, demanding of her subordinates, this regal Dame can go from warm as a sunny spring day to as cold as steel at the blink of an eye if you disappoint her. And tonight is an important occasion. Everything Must Be Perfect.
LINE 1: (Enters bar) Oh! I didn’t realize
... keep reading on reddit ➡These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **JUNE 22** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
Jo (30s-40s/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)
Jo is a being from the worlds of Business and Professionalism, possessed of a glee best summed up by the soulless, grinning rictus of their face.
LINE 1: You’re a little early, I wasn’t quite ready. Let me finish up those expense reports really quick.
LINE 2: —Fake laugh— Been buried in corporate emails all day, you know how it is. I’ll probably be trying to reach inbox zero for the next twenty years.
LINE 3: You won’t BELIEVE how thorough our inventory system is! —BEAT— We have spreadsheets!
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
Lin (any age/any ethnicity/any accent/Cisgender or Transgender)
Lin is a zombie. Lin questions the world around her. Lin believes in the natural (as in -super), and she’s going to prove it to Tom by summoning a natural spirit… Feel free to show some range in your zombie voice delivery, from normal-ish to full-on rasp and moans.
LINE 1: —blunt but caring— Your entire premise is flawed, Tom. I tried to tell you before but you wouldn’t listen.
LINE 2: —excited— Think back to the old life-stories our parents told us around the campfire as kids. What did every story have?
LINE 3: —teasing— What’s so creepy about it? I thought you didn’t believe in the natural?
—NOTE— The following are dual-roles, the characters and their players should have the same voices but be distinct in personality.
Venca and her player (30s/any ethnicity/any accent/Cisgender or Transgender)
*Venca (VEN-ca) is a strong, sure, rough and tumble half-orc fighter who is the most practical of her party once her blood-lust drops, taking care of mundane things like hiding bodies and cleaning up gore while everyone else dives for the loot. Her player, however, is a people-pleaser and worrier, w
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in a free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **FEBRUARY 24**
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
MAP VOICE: (Any age/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)
Your standard issue (?) modern car navigation voice.
LINE 1: This route avoids traffic on I-eight-eighty. You are now on the fastest route.
LINE 2: You have arrived at your destination. (sing-songy/creepy) Good luuuuuuuck.
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
MICHELLE: (20s-30s, any ethnicity/any accent/cisgender or transgender)
Coworker to Mark. She’s very driven, to the point of missing the forest for the tree that is her sole focus, and right now that focus is dealing with an issue at the office.
LINE 1: Sorry I'm just...really in my head about this presentation today. I can't believe Susan would schedule a presentation where I need to talk in front of a bunch of people on the first day back.
LINE 2: Yeah we really need to hold the power company to account. Bury the lines already! How much more damage are we going to let them get away with?
LINE 3: (flattered) Aw thanks! I was a really nervous driver in high school, so my dad paid for extra defensive driving lessons. It was really fun, they had a roll bar on the car and everything which let me tell you, I definitely needed more than a few times. Did wonders for my confidence in scary driving situations though.
KAYLA: (20s-40s, any ethnicity/any accent/cisgender or transgender)
Lives with Rachel and a perfect example of your normal, average, fun-loving human being. They enjoy good banter.
LINE 1: (To Rachel’s pet) What are you eating now?? Ugh, every time I turn around you're eating some piece of trash or something...give me that!
LINE 2: Your dumb pet was eating, I don't know what. I found this little piece of plastic?
RACHEL: (20s-40s, any ethnicity/any accent/cisgender or transgender)
*Lives with Kayla, pet owner, appreciates a good bi
"Seminar" is our very long-running (84 episodes and counting) sci-fi anthology show. Roles are low commitment and for one episode only! Record in the comfort of your own home without pants on (or keep them on if you like, it's really up to you)!
More details at the link!
Audition deadline ***DEC 21***
SEMINAR: an original, multiple Parsec Award-winning sci-fi anthology show!
A bi-monthly anthology show where featured shorts are heard through the lens of lessons in a futuristic post-apocalypse.
The content of "Seminar" varies by episode as dictated by the featured shorts. Shorts range from very G-rated to hard R. Listener discretion is advised.
Episode Eighty-four - "Construct A Hypothesis"
Stressful situations can sometimes bring out the best in us... but just as often can cause a complete breakdown. Featuring "Odyssey One" by Jair Kornegay and "False Vacuum" by James Rossi!
iTunes link:
https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/seminar-original-anthology/id217204916
Podcast feed:
http://www.pendantaudio.com/seminar-podcast.xml
Download link:
http://pendantaudio.com/shows/seminar
Thanks for listening!
The Parsec Awards announced the 2014 finalists last night. In the highly competitive category of Best Speculative Fiction Short Story: Small Cast, two Nosleep stories were chosen as finalists:
"A Christmas Feast" written by Michael Whitehouse and narrated by Peter Lewis.
"Just Another Night" written by Andrew MacDougall and narrated by some hack.
Ours was the only podcast with two finalists in that category. Also, the podcast is a finalist for Best Speculative Fiction Anthology Podcast.
Congrats to everyone involved in the show and to the deserving authors.
NOW ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS for episode 83 of "Seminar", our multiple Parsec Award-winning audio drama anthology! Space is limited, so submit your script today!
Full submission requirements here.
We hope to see your scripts soon!
The Parsec Awards have announced their 2017 speculative fiction podcast finalists.
My own Burning Brigid Media is a finalist for "Best New Speculative Fiction Podcaster/Team." Honestly I had no idea I'd even been nominated.
Looks like we've made the top 5 for the Fact Behind the Fiction category! Big thanks to all who nominated us, and congrats to our co-finalists! [Full list of finalists is here.] (http://www.parsecawards.com/2015-parsec-awards/2015-parsec-awards-finalists/)
Wow, this took longer than I thought it would. I said I would write this months ago at this point, but frankly, school got in the way and I had to prioritize. I'm finally found some time during my break to write this out, so here we go...the tale of Zod's Snapped Neck.
(Obligatory mobile post image)
Well at this point there's been a few posts explaining that on here, but essentially it's DC's (and Warner Bros') interconnected universe of movies featuring the heroes and villains of DC Comics. The movies include Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad, The Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman, Shazam, and others several others (but not Joker and The Batman because of complicated reasons that could almost warrant their own post).
In Spring 2016, the DCEU, as a business entity, was not doing well. Man of Steel had come out in 2013 to mixed but mostly negative reviews. It was followed by Batman v Superman in March 2016, which got absolutely eviscerated by critics and underperformed at the box office despite making over $870 million worldwide (I'm not even going to get into the whole "Martha" discourse here because it's been beaten to death already and it's not really relevant to this drama). I say it underperformed because the movie was actually predicted to have an opening weekend of $350 million, but it only came in at $181 million. (EDIT: I made an error here about the box office performance, which was pointed out to me in a comment. The $181 million was it's domestic box office, the movie actually out performed its $350 million projection (which was a global projection) and made over $424 million globally opening weekend. The underperformance came later when it failed to make $1 billion after such a strong opening weekend.) Since then, particularly with the release of the Ultimate Edition, opinion has softened on the movie, but to say it's loved would be far from the truth.
The DCEU fandom was a different story.
The fans loved BvS. Early
... keep reading on reddit ➡2012 was the year that crowdfunding effectively took off in the gaming landscape. Titles like Broken Age proved game developers could take their ideas directly to the public, opening a new avenue for funding one’s dream projects without relying on AAA publishers. Creators big and small would gradually turn to the platform over time, and for better or worse Kickstarter has become a fixture in the modern gaming market for many. Of course, this new tool would attract attention from many outsiders to the world of game development as well. And in Spring of that year, The Yogscast would announce a Kickstarter of their own, leading to one of the biggest trainwrecks in crowdfunding history.
I Am A Dwarf And I’m…
The Yogscast is a group of friends that, like nearly every channel back in the day, would upload countless hours of content playing video games. Originally formed by Lewis Brindley and Simon Lane, the duo grew a strong following through their Warcraft content before branching out to games like Garry’s Mod, Grand Theft Auto, and, of course, Minecraft. It’s hard to understand just how huge Yogscast was, their Minecraft song parodies alone gaining tens of millions of views and retaining a massive fan base that would watch them play through practically any title. While not as influential as before, they are still uploading to this day, and enjoy a steady stream of fans even over a decade after their career first launched.
So, it perhaps wasn’t too out of left field when they looked for collaborators to make their own video game. With the growing success of Kickstarter, and their massive popularity on Youtube, The Yogscast would strike while the iron was hot when they announced a project that would take the world (or at least, their fanbase) by storm.
In April 2012, the channel announced a new crowdfunding campaign for a video game called Yogventures. Accompanied with a bit of footage in the game’s conceptual stages, the game would be an open world sandbox where players could find resources, explore d
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **DECEMBER 29** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
Please note: ages listed are for character/voice, not age of actor.
ROLES FOR WOMEN/NON-BINARY FEMININE:
Cornelia (Late 60s-70s sounding/ Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
Never one to back down, unafraid to call it like she sees it, Cornelia is nobody’s fool and looks out for those around her.
LINE 1: (proudly) I don’t NEED backup. When I worked at Kline’s I carried a derringer in my purse every day.
LINE 2: Emma’s out here saying hello to people, to give them a nice greeting and to have a nice moment in her day. What are you doing to make anything better?
LINE 3: Oh, if it’s Tuesday then yeah they’re playin’ bingo.
Emma (80+ sounding/ Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
A very nice old lady who is not altogether there.
LINE 1: (cheerful) Hello.
LINE 2: (upset) I don’t like this conversation.
LINE 3: (pleasantly shocked) I’m… fine! How are you doing?
Grace (Late 40s-50s sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
Grace is new to the neighborhood and looking to enjoy her stay there.
LINE 1: Oh hello. How are you?
LINE 2: Just out for my daily walk! How are you all? How’s your day been?
LINE 3: I’m new to the neighborhood. My name’s Grace.
Kate (20s-40s sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
Kate is married to Jared and is the more grounded of the two. Usually supportive of his hair-brained schemes, she does have her limits.
LINE 1: Jared, what are you doing? I’m trying to get some work done downstairs but you’re distracting me like crazy repeating yourself over and over.
LINE 2: (mischievous/playful) Hold on, let me try something.
LINE 3: (disgusted) I can’t believ
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **OCTOBER 28** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
ROLES FOR WOMEN/NON-BINARY FEMININE:
DAWKINS (20s-40s sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
A ship-board AI with, shall we say, a combative personality. Works with Taylor on a salvage vessel out on what could potentially be a very lucrative mission. Role requires some swearing.
LINE 1: The problem there is that since whatever rocket scientist designed this rig didn’t think to put so much as a single camera in it, rendering myself completely blind so you can sing early twentieth century—
LINE 2: Ooooooh, oh no, it got erased in a magnetic storm last month, sorry.
LINE 3: There’s nobody there. I’ve been checking echolocation, air pressure sensors, temperature, and you are the only person standing on this roof.
TAYLOR (30+ sounding / Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
A seasoned space salvager who has definitely been around the block a few times. Knows the job, fights for her salvage, definitely likes to remind Dawkins who’s boss. Also, a lover of 20th century musicals… (singing does not have to be great, just in character!) Role requires some swearing.
LINE 1: (Singing quietly, at an odd cadence between footsteps) The ballroom was filled with fashion’s throng, it shone with a thousand lights. And there was a woman who passed along the fairest of all the sights… (song can be found here)
LINE 2: We jumped in-system about a hundred hours ago. Only been dirt-side about forty minutes. Why?
LINE 3: So I don’t know what your story is but there was nobody else here when I landed, which means salvage rights for this entire place are mine.
SALLY (20s-30s sounding/ Any background / Any accent / Cisgender or Transgender)
*Citizen Sa
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **AUGUST 25** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
DELTA (20s-40s/Any background/Any accent)
Delta is an overly-dramatic, debatably malevolent, inter-dimensional cosmic… being? With a podcast? Definitely has a sidekick. Big Brain energy here (as in Pinky and the).
LINE 1: (in the most overdone “this is the coolest stuff ever” voice) There is more in this world than what you perceive. Your senses are limited in ways you cannot even begin to comprehend. We exist in the shadows, in the periphery, on the edges of reality where thought blends with chance, where imagination and probability coexist and intermingle in an endless cosmic dance.
LINE 2: (normal voice) What commute? We exist outside of all time and space.
LINE 3: (Bad evil laughter) Work through it and try but fail to make it good. Give up at the end.
EPSILON (20s/Any background/Any accent)
Epsilon is Delta’s minion/partner in crime. Very impressed, they think Delta is the bee’s knees and are super-impressed with how smart and amazing Delta is. Lovably loopy though strangely grounded, they are the jelly to Delta’s peanut butter. Strong Pinky energy (as in and the Brain).
LINE 1: (off-mic a bit) Wow. … So deep! … So badass!
LINE 2: (trying to do a “cool voice” but sounding more like a peppy commercial announcer) We were put into place when the first perfect day led to…
LINE 3: (like a rallying cry) No perfect days!
LINE 4: (Bad evil laughter) Work through it and try but fail to make it good. Never give up.
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
LEONOR (20s-30s/Latina ONLY/Latin-American Accent/Cisgender or Transgender)
*Leonor is a witch! Just kidding. She’s a woman who is attracted to other women at a time when “stake burning” could be said aloud without conjuring images of a bbq gone wrong. Not one you w
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **JUNE 22** at 11:59 pm Pacific!
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
Jo (30s-40s/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)
Jo is a being from the worlds of Business and Professionalism, possessed of a glee best summed up by the soulless, grinning rictus of their face.
LINE 1: You’re a little early, I wasn’t quite ready. Let me finish up those expense reports really quick.
LINE 2: —Fake laugh— Been buried in corporate emails all day, you know how it is. I’ll probably be trying to reach inbox zero for the next twenty years.
LINE 3: You won’t BELIEVE how thorough our inventory system is! —BEAT— We have spreadsheets!
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
Lin (any age/any ethnicity/any accent/Cisgender or Transgender)
Lin is a zombie. Lin questions the world around her. Lin believes in the natural (as in -super), and she’s going to prove it to Tom by summoning a natural spirit… Feel free to show some range in your zombie voice delivery, from normal-ish to full-on rasp and moans.
LINE 1: —blunt but caring— Your entire premise is flawed, Tom. I tried to tell you before but you wouldn’t listen.
LINE 2: —excited— Think back to the old life-stories our parents told us around the campfire as kids. What did every story have?
LINE 3: —teasing— What’s so creepy about it? I thought you didn’t believe in the natural?
—NOTE— The following are dual-roles, the characters and their players should have the same voices but be distinct in personality.
Venca and her player (30s/any ethnicity/any accent/Cisgender or Transgender)
*Venca (VEN-ca) is a strong, sure, rough and tumble half-orc fighter who is the most practical of her party once her blood-lust drops, taking care of mundane things like hiding bodies and cleaning up gore while everyone else dives for the loot. Her player, however, is a people-pleaser and worrier, w
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in a free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **FEBRUARY 24**
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
MAP VOICE: (Any age/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)
Your standard issue (?) modern car navigation voice.
LINE 1: This route avoids traffic on I-eight-eighty. You are now on the fastest route.
LINE 2: You have arrived at your destination. (sing-songy/creepy) Good luuuuuuuck.
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
MICHELLE: (20s-30s, any ethnicity/any accent/cisgender or transgender)
Coworker to Mark. She’s very driven, to the point of missing the forest for the tree that is her sole focus, and right now that focus is dealing with an issue at the office.
LINE 1: Sorry I'm just...really in my head about this presentation today. I can't believe Susan would schedule a presentation where I need to talk in front of a bunch of people on the first day back.
LINE 2: Yeah we really need to hold the power company to account. Bury the lines already! How much more damage are we going to let them get away with?
LINE 3: (flattered) Aw thanks! I was a really nervous driver in high school, so my dad paid for extra defensive driving lessons. It was really fun, they had a roll bar on the car and everything which let me tell you, I definitely needed more than a few times. Did wonders for my confidence in scary driving situations though.
KAYLA: (20s-40s, any ethnicity/any accent/cisgender or transgender)
Lives with Rachel and a perfect example of your normal, average, fun-loving human being. They enjoy good banter.
LINE 1: (To Rachel’s pet) What are you eating now?? Ugh, every time I turn around you're eating some piece of trash or something...give me that!
LINE 2: Your dumb pet was eating, I don't know what. I found this little piece of plastic?
RACHEL: (20s-40s, any ethnicity/any accent/cisgender or transgender)
*Lives with Kayla, pet owner, appreciates a good b
These are unpaid roles for credit only, in an all-volunteer free podcast production.
Send only your BEST takes of each line, one mp3 file per character. Audition for as many roles as you like! The filename should look like 'CHARACTER NAME_YOUR NAME.mp3'
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
If you have any questions, please send an email to director.garan@gmail.com.
Send your mp3s to director.garan@gmail.com.
Deadline for auditions is **APRIL 28**
ROLES FOR ANY GENDER:
BITS: (Any age/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)A cheerful, optimistic robot working on an assembly line aboard an orbiting space station alongside Bobs. Playful and innocent, they have feelings and original thoughts, so they should not sound robotic or detached.
LINE 1: (working at their station) Nut and bolt acquired... Nut and bolt threaded... Nut and bolt joined... (tosses bolt) Nut and bolt added to completed pile.
LINE 2: Good midday Zenith Bobs! (Beat) Bobs... Midday zenith has arrived earlier again today.
LINE 3: I love watching you work. You’re very good at your job! Even if you do it differently.
BOBS: (Any age/any ethnicity/any accent/any gender)A real curmudgeon of a robot working on an assembly line aboard an orbiting space station alongside Bits. A realist and a “get the job done” type, they have feelings and original thoughts like Bits, so they also should not sound robotic or detached.
LINE 1: (starting their shift, long annoyed groan) Nut and bolt acquired... Nut and bolt threaded... Nut and bolt joined... (tosses bolt) Nut and bolt added to completed pile.
LINE 2: (responding to Bits) I doubt I shall enjoy the work. Good day, Bits.
LINE 3: Give 3 grunts each in response to: a) doing something you’ll tolerate but don’t like; b) Bits asking you to do something you like but you don’t want to admit it; c) recognizing a bad situation you have no real control over.
ROLES FOR WOMEN:
Owner: (40+/any ethnicity/French accent/Cisgender or Transgender)Gracious to her guests, demanding of her subordinates, this regal Dame can go from warm as a sunny spring day to as cold as steel at the blink of an eye if you disappoint her. And tonight is an important occasion. Everything Must Be Perfect.
LINE 1: (Enters bar) Oh! I didn’t realize
... keep reading on reddit ➡"Seminar" is our very long-running (84 episodes and counting) sci-fi anthology show. Roles are low commitment and for one episode only! Record in the comfort of your own home without pants on (or keep them on if you like, it's really up to you)!
More details at the link!
Audition deadline ***DEC 21***
SEMINAR, Episode Eighty-three - “State the Problem”
When the unexpected happens, how you react can make all the difference in the world. Featuring “Three Apples in the Basement” by V C Morrison and “Metabolized Heroics” by Landon Beall.
In the distant future, long after the fall of humanity, the few surviving humans learn about themselves and their history through the lens of the featured shorts.
“Seminar” is a full-cast, ongoing, multiple Parsec Award-winning anthology show, with no restrictions on genre.
iTunes link:
https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/seminar-original-anthology/id217204916
Podcast feed:
http://www.pendantaudio.com/seminar-podcast.xml
Download link:
http://pendantaudio.com/shows/seminar
Thanks for listening!
Our multiple Parsec Award-winning audio drama anthology show is now accepting submissions for episode 81!
Our editors look forward to reading your submissions soon!
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