The universe is just free parking.

There's just so much space!

👍︎ 20
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📅︎ Feb 05 2019
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First death from Everglades pythons

An intern from the University of Prague was studying the breeding habits of Burmese pythons in the Everglades. Park Rangers were notified when he didn't report in at the end of the day. They managed to capture the pair he was studying.

The necropsy on the female python only found a fawn, several rodents, and a couple of turtle.

When they cut open her mate it was a different story. Sure enough, the Czech was in the male.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/flaspike
📅︎ Dec 02 2015
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On a trip to Universal Studios

This was quite a while ago, I was probably in middle school (currently 26). My family took a quick day trip to Universal Studios Hollywood since we live in the greater LA area. Now to set the scene, my dad is a native of Mexico but has lived here since his late teens so his English is pretty good with a tinge of an accent since Spanish is his primary language. We park in the parking garage on property and we do the usual "make a mental note of where we parked for later". That's when I see a smirk come across his face as he turns to me laughing under his breath.

-"What's so funny?"

-"Notice where we parked?"

-"Yeah. Jurassic Park lot, 3B"

Cue dad

-"Jurassic Park..." half expecting me to laugh. He continues "Jurassic Park... Jurr-Ass-is-Parked"

facepalm

As terrible as it was at the time, I've tried to pull this joke out with friends years later, eye rolls and crickets. Thanks dad.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/lpmark04
📅︎ Feb 05 2015
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My dad gets my brother at airport

So me and my family were on our way to Florida for a trip to Universal and Harry Potter world. The five of us were crammed in one of the shuttles that you ride to get to the airport from the far hinterland where you park your car. My little brother, ever the curious one, is asking my mom about our upcoming flight. He asks "So where are we sitting on the flight?" My dad, who up until this point hadn't contributed much to the conversation, got the gleam of a dad in his eye. He gave a smirk and, before my mother could reply, said "Well I don't know about you, but I'll be sitting on my ass."

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/0dd426
📅︎ Nov 24 2014
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Dad joked on the way to Universal Studios Florida

Driving up to the amusement park and pass a sign reading "Universal Parking."
Dad says, "do you think this is the parking for everybody?"

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/K_Fred
📅︎ Jan 17 2014
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