..to find exactly 32 of them.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
And then it hit me.
That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Dad: “Sorry, son... That’s not possible.”
Son: “I really did, I promise!”
Dad: “It isn’t possible for two ducks to be be in the same place at the same time.”
Son: “Why not?”
Dad: “Because, son. It would create a pair-o-ducks!”
Silence of the Lambos
But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
The little shit used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
"Hello mister," he said, "you wouldn't have seen my wife's dog running by, would you? Big fat thing with pointy ears and a slobbery mouth."
"Can't say I have," I replied. "And your wife sounds very ugly."
...All others will be toad.
I also got a Czech mate
It was against the rules, but they let it slide
I was charged with parking infractions.
"Reindeer?" I asked.
He said, "Yes. Hence the puddle."
... so that runners know when they pass the last one that it's the final stretch 😊
At the Camelot
(My Egyptian father’s fav joke)
WATER WORLD! WATER WOOOOOOORLD!!
Nothing, it's on the house.
I heard business is boo-ming
You feed Demeter or Demeter feeds you.
Alongside a ticket attached to a mushroom, there was a sign saying, "No parking. All vehicles will be toad."
They get toad.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he never gave me a single dime!
It got toad
Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Behind monkey bars.
Then it hit me.
He got toad.
It was worth it though... That club was hopping.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.
She sells, C cells by the seesaw.
Toad
They charged one and let off the other!
It was a shih-tzu
My fault for getting one that’s pure bread.
The seesaw
I asked him about it and that was a mistake. He just kept droning on and on!
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
It was against the rules, but they let it slide
It was against the rules, but they let it slide.
Dad: “Sorry, son... That’s not possible.”
Son: “Why? Because it would be a pair-o’-ducks?
Dad: “No, because you’re blind.”
They get toad
and ended up getting toad
