Parallel lines have so much in common
It's a shame they'll never meet.
At the weekend, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it's becoming increasingly harder..
..to find exactly 32 of them.
What do you call a parking lot full of broken Lamborghinis?
Parking a single car doesn’t require much space.
But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
I thought I failed my parallel parking test.
Luckily my driving instructor grades on a curb.
Frog parking only...
...All others will be toad.
I divided my parking space into sixteenths before pulling in...
I was charged with parking infractions.
The police pulled over a semi going 120 mph on the interstate. Upon opening the trailer, they found thousands of ancient cutting tools similar to an axes but with the cutting edges perpendicular to the handle rather than parallel.
Parking vs Greek mythology
You feed Demeter or Demeter feeds you.
I love going to the park. But the ducks keep harassing my dog.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer.
They are having a wheel problem at the station
Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him.
That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Son: "Dad! I just saw two ducks at the park!"
Dad: “Sorry, son... That’s not possible.”
Son: “I really did, I promise!”
Dad: “It isn’t possible for two ducks to be be in the same place at the same time.”
Son: “Why not?”
Dad: “Because, son. It would create a pair-o-ducks!”
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little shit used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
I used to have a problem with grammatical tenses
What's the deal with parallel parking? It should be called co-linear parking, parking in a parking lot is parallel parking!
My dad was a math teacher and thinks he's Seinfeld.
I've started playing chess in the park to help me meet new people, I've now got a new Polish mate
I took my dog to the water park once
It was against the rules, but they let it slide
There should be limos parked every few miles during a marathon..
... so that runners know when they pass the last one that it's the final stretch 😊
I always take my problems to Tony.
This man approached me in the park. "Would you please help? My caribou is stuck in a gigantic puddle."
"Reindeer?" I asked.
He said, "Yes. Hence the puddle."
What did the man say to the woman he liked who had bladder problems?
Mario suddenly knew who took his car after he parked it.
Alongside a ticket attached to a mushroom, there was a sign saying, "No parking. All vehicles will be toad."
Where do you park a camel?
At the Camelot
(My Egyptian father’s fav joke)
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems.
Then again, neither does milk.
whoever this happened to definitely has some problems to bear
What is the Wicked Witch Of The West's least favourite leisure park?
WATER WORLD! WATER WOOOOOOORLD!!
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
I live next to the rubbish dump and have a huge fly problem, the bloody things are everywhere. It's gotten so bad I've decided to sell my house and move...
Alright #2 for the Basketball/Car enthusiast: Who do you call when you need a ride during covid to the NBA Finals and your having engine problems.
A Booker with a working CP3
They opened a haunted house at my local theme park...
I heard business is boo-ming
What do you call it when you help friends who are having problems taking apart their furniture?
A partly apart party, apparently.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
The park ranger told me that he would donate all the pennies, nickles, and quarters thrown into the wishing well to my charity.....
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he never gave me a single dime!
What happened to the frogs car when he parked terribly
20 years ago, my girlfriend’s parking brake went out
Our relationship went downhill fast.
Parallel lines have so much in common
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Parking a single car doesn't need much space...
But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
I took my dog to a water park once
It was against the rules, but they let it slide
Took my dog to the water park once
It was against the rules, but they let it slide.
Son: “Dad! I just saw two ducks at the park!”
Dad: “Sorry, son... That’s not possible.”
Son: “Why? Because it would be a pair-o’-ducks?
Dad: “No, because you’re blind.”
How much space is left in the parking area?
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