My transformation is almost complete

So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)

Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"

My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"

...Pls send help

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hyperpuma
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
5 Cringey Puns

(Sorry For Not Posting, I Was Busy)

  1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

  2. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

  3. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

  4. I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.

  5. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

(Source For All Puns: https://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F&cat=0&sub=0&page=1)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will hunt you down.

You have my word.

(My dad put wrote this on the fridge, pls don't kill)

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waterycereal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad told me the other day he hates it when people use dark mode

so i called him a racist

p.s do i need to make this nsfw? i'm not sure so pls don't remove

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tHeSeTiReSmAn
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Pingu pun, anyone???

Hi fellow punlovers,

I'm asking for your help. I really want to ask a girl out to prom this year and we have an inside joke going on about Pingu (I know it's random). I've been trying to come up with good puns but can't come up with a Pingu-related one. Is there anyone who can help me out with this pls?

Thank you so much and have a nice day :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krokant_Joch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Are leaked images allowed here?
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shurdddd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the Coder that switched companies get anything done?

He signed a Non-Com(pl)ete Agreement

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N11Ordo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?

Because he always stays in the Lois Lane

Kill me pls

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ts84g
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
idk why i'm wasting my life making up jokes

Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!

need upvotes pls

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mhayes69123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
An angry letter to the mods of /r/dadjokes
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Eggs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Does it still count as a dad joke if told by a son during a frank conversation with his mother?
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeDC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the vacuum so busy?

It had to do an air-rend

^^^first ^^^OC ^^^pun ^^^here ^^^pls ^^^be ^^^gentle

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aft2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the executioner say to the Finn?

I'm going to Finnish you off. (End me pls)

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnEbolaOfCereal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I need a pun for my name

I need a pun for my name: Mohammed Sarker, pls help.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mohammedsarker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
🚨︎ report
I was a fan...

now I'm an air conditioner

Edit: not really joke. hope is okay mods pls no ban.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LivelyZebra
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad demands an "upstairs maid" for my parents' one story house.

He says it's only fair since Mom has a pool boy.

...Neither of these things are true. He says this all the time. Pls help.

Edit: They don't have a pool either.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/attacktheblock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
🚨︎ report
Going to be cold tonight

Sigh, dad pls no...

"Hey! Tonight is going to be the coldest night!"

Me: "Wow really? El Nino is weird"

"Yeah, the coldest it's been all year."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Herpderp5002
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Straight through cable

Some context: I asked my dad to bring me home some straight through cables from his work, he told me to text him and remind him to do so. So I text my dad: "bring home straight through cables pls" My dad: "what do you have against the gay ones?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Excetna
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Titillating Image Commentary

https://i.imgur.com/Y9I0LyI.jpg "It's a cattelite dish." dad... dad pls no

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freyiik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.