PL 5 Puns

So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)

Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"

My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"

...Pls send help

(Sorry For Not Posting, I Was Busy)

1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

2. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

3. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

4. I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.

5. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

(Source For All Puns: https://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F&cat=0&sub=0&page=1)

You have my word.

(My dad put wrote this on the fridge, pls don't kill)

so i called him a racist

p.s do i need to make this nsfw? i'm not sure so pls don't remove

Hi fellow punlovers,

I'm asking for your help. I really want to ask a girl out to prom this year and we have an inside joke going on about Pingu (I know it's random). I've been trying to come up with good puns but can't come up with a Pingu-related one. Is there anyone who can help me out with this pls?

Thank you so much and have a nice day :)

Leaked image.

He signed a Non-Com(pl)ete Agreement

Because he always stays in the Lois Lane

Kill me pls

Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!

need upvotes pls

pls no ban

I got her!.

It had to do an air-rend

^^^first ^^^OC ^^^pun ^^^here ^^^pls ^^^be ^^^gentle

I'm going to Finnish you off. (End me pls)

I need a pun for my name: Mohammed Sarker, pls help.

now I'm an air conditioner

Edit: not really joke. hope is okay mods pls no ban.

He says it's only fair since Mom has a pool boy.

...Neither of these things are true. He says this all the time. Pls help.

Edit: They don't have a pool either.

Sigh, dad pls no...

"Hey! Tonight is going to be the coldest night!"

Me: "Wow really? El Nino is weird"

"Yeah, the coldest it's been all year."

Some context: I asked my dad to bring me home some straight through cables from his work, he told me to text him and remind him to do so. So I text my dad: "bring home straight through cables pls" My dad: "what do you have against the gay ones?"

https://i.imgur.com/Y9I0LyI.jpg "It's a cattelite dish." dad... dad pls no