What do you call man who only eats breakfast... a cereal killer
Did you hear about the criminal who only steals wheels from police cars?
The cops are working tirelessly to catch him
Did you know athlete’s foot is only in the US?
The rest of the world calls it athlete’s meter
What do you call a group of Norseman that only drink 7.5oz Pepsis?
Did you hear about the female rapper who only battled when she was on her menstrual cycle?
They say she had a mean flow...
What do you call a horse that only goes out at night?
A nightmare.
-courtesy of my kindergartner
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
Do you know why chicken coops can only have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4, they would be chicken sedans.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Did you know you can only ran through a camp ground?
Warning: Do not buy tickets for the Eskimo lottery - they will sell you the ticket but they only pay out to native Eskimos.
You've got to be Inuit to win it
If you commit 90 sins, you will only get caught half the time.
Why is it you can only ran through campgrounds?
Because it is passed tents.
If you sin 90 times, you'll only get caught 50% of times,
What do you call a store that sells only bagels and donuts?
What do you call a reckless thief who only steals cooking utensils?
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
What do you call a vegetable that's only kind of cool?
Did you know I used to be a Lumber Jack? It was only during one summer, though.
I just couldn't, hack it.
Because I didn't have the, chops.
So they, gave me the axe.
What do you call a dinosaur who only eats spicy food?
Did you hear the secret joke that only the FBI, CIA, NSA and MI6 know?
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
Did you hear about the guy who only dated women named Esther, sometimes more than one at a time?
He identified as poly-Esther
What do you call a donkey with only three legs?
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?
How do you call a robot that only tells you the truth?
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
Hey did you ever hear about the psychic that only gives you good news?
There is only one you in the whole world...
What do you drink if you are only a little thirsty in Minneapolis?
Did you know about the group where only Trump supporters were allowed?
The others are forbiden.
Credit to u/i_like_it_eilat
What are the only jokes you can make in quarantine?
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?
He didn't have a lot of common cents.
My son said, “Dad, when you were young, was the landline the only way you could communicate with each other?”
I said, “No. Get your fax straight.”
Do you know why the French only eat one egg for breakfast?
Because one egg is un oeuf
If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...
You better use a Penn & Teller
Did you hear about the pirate who had a sword he only used on women?
I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What do you call a cow that only has two legs
In the store I saw some brightly coloured greeting cards that said, "I will always love only you "
They sold them in packs of 12.
What do you call someone who only eats white rice?
I just asked my 14 yr old after he was talking the whole time while I was showing how to do something. ‘Do you know why god gave us two eyes and only one mouth?’
‘Because we don’t need depth perception with our mouths ‘ was his technically correct answer
Did you hear about the French man who could only count to seven?
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are sick only on weekdays.
Me: It must be my weakened immune system.
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