One drop Puns

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?

I thought "I'll take that with a grain of salt."

(While passing a cemetery) Dad: How many people do you think are dead in there? Me: (Thinking for a little while) Probably about 150 or so Dad: All of them

My truck has a passenger side airbag, but only when your Mom is riding with me.

Leia says to Han, "Some things never change. You still drive me crazy."

And my dad turns to me with this stupid grin and says "It's pronounced the Millennium Falcon, not the 'me crazy'" And he just stared at me grinning while I cracked up in a crowded movie theater.

Sitting on the couch watching Family Feud with my pops, and a contestant's name was Changa. I knew it was coming. I feared it's arrival. I looked at my dad, and sure enough. His grin was waiting.

"Hey, what do you think Changa's nickname was in high school? Chimi??"

It was like he missed me or something...

Me: I can help, I've got two hands free.

Dad: If your hands are free, how expensive are your feet?

Someone would walk into class with "pre-ripped" jeans on.

Teacher: Oh hey, wearing your golf pants today?

Student: What? What do you mean?

Teacher: Your golf pants! They got 18 holes!

How does the accountant make the bed? With Spreadsheets

What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for christmas??

Il never part with it.

This still cracks my little brother(6) and sister(4) up like crazy when he's opening presents.

Dad:" Oh look! It's a new box!"

Trotsky! :D

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts!

Dad: you know how Richard (my brother) is going to do a marathon in Kenya soon?

Me: yeah why?

Dad: I'm going to do a half marathon tommorow and ill finish it faster than him.

Me: no you won't, you smoke and you're unfit.

Dad: it'll be okay. I think they're called snickers now though.

Me: urghh.

We are looking at lighting for our house and we have a few boxes of different fixtures in our buggy. My dad comes over and says we have a lot of lights. A.....light load.