I heard herb gardens grow better with classic rock in the background, so I played a Styx album on repeat.
Now I've got Too Much Thyme on My Hands.
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson showed me pictures of his kids on his phone.
He was pretty sedimental.
Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"
Edit: get consent people
"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"
Daughter: Dad, I have a crush on The Rock
Dad: Keep at it! You will eventually wind up with a diamond !
Why is a rock that fell from the sky more delicious than one you find on the ground?
It’s meteor.
My wife asked me to introduce our kids to the 90s rock I grew up on.
I told her sure but some of it is Garbage.
What did the caveman cat say when a rock fell on his foot?
Me-ow
Do you know the worst part about books on rock climbing?
Too many cliffhangers.
Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."
The second doctor responds, "Suture self."
Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
What did the 70s rock singer say when his son asked whether their suitcase was a carry on or a checked bag?
Carry on, my wayward son
Rivers love the little rocks on their floor so much, they carry them everywhere they go. Riveres are incredibly sedimental
The hit Sisyphus Starship song: We Built This City on Rocks that Roll
There's a huge rock on the other side of the speed bump on my street.
It causes a lot of axle dents.
So this European comedy group is working on a movie with a bizarre plot - apparently a famous rock guitarist and drummer gains control of the weather and sends it haywire.
The movie is going to be called, Monty Python and the Grohly Hail.
Today while on a steep upslope during a hike my son was walking up the shale rock beside the path with some difficulty. In frustration he shouted, "Why am I doing this?" And I responded...
"Well, recently didn't you say you wanted to live a bolder life?" Zing!
If The Rock walked in on someone having a baby during San Andreas movie
He would've said, "so you're having a birth-quake?"
