I heard herb gardens grow better with classic rock in the background, so I played a Styx album on repeat.

Now I've got Too Much Thyme on My Hands.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Grizzly on the rocks
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyAssassin99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"

Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carr3iroh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Straight, neat, or on the rocks?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_Jockstrap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson showed me pictures of his kids on his phone.

He was pretty sedimental.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwimmingNaked
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"

Edit: get consent people

"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asbestos_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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Daughter: Dad, I have a crush on The Rock

Dad: Keep at it! You will eventually wind up with a diamond !

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Why is a rock that fell from the sky more delicious than one you find on the ground?

It’s meteor.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/passlake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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My wife asked me to introduce our kids to the 90s rock I grew up on.

I told her sure but some of it is Garbage.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobsaid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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What did the caveman cat say when a rock fell on his foot?

Me-ow

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Your_second_mum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Do you know the worst part about books on rock climbing?

Too many cliffhangers.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodieninja86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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you’re a ROCK STAR, get the show on, get paid
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PetaDontSueMe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."

The second doctor responds, "Suture self."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bruce_lees_ghost
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Scotch on the rocks with a twist
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakek931
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
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What did the 70s rock singer say when his son asked whether their suitcase was a carry on or a checked bag?

Carry on, my wayward son

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/localwheatdealer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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I like my scotch on the rocks.
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smithtomkundi1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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Rivers love the little rocks on their floor so much, they carry them everywhere they go. Riveres are incredibly sedimental
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Denye_Azadini
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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The hit Sisyphus Starship song: We Built This City on Rocks that Roll
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asajz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2017
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There's a huge rock on the other side of the speed bump on my street.

It causes a lot of axle dents.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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So this European comedy group is working on a movie with a bizarre plot - apparently a famous rock guitarist and drummer gains control of the weather and sends it haywire.

The movie is going to be called, Monty Python and the Grohly Hail.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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Today while on a steep upslope during a hike my son was walking up the shale rock beside the path with some difficulty. In frustration he shouted, "Why am I doing this?" And I responded...

"Well, recently didn't you say you wanted to live a bolder life?" Zing!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2016
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If The Rock walked in on someone having a baby during San Andreas movie

He would've said, "so you're having a birth-quake?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaron1312
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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