Bought a house with a shed and found a lot of old tiki torches!

Score! I got free antique-y torches!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Our neighbour's 6 year old son was sleeping in their house, I've seen it and called the Cops right away

Because it was a kidnap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmosArdnach_6152
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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My 7-year old son constantly insists that I use my ballet skills around the house...

He really keeps me on my toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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And just before blowing up that old man's house, he said...

kaboomer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr__Weasels
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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I walked down my old street where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1MB.

It was a trip down memory lane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CTXCI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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My 3yr old son told me there was a real dinosaur in the house! So we spent the morning looking for it when we saw a tail around the corner, but it was just a fossil-arm.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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DAD: Fifty years ago I had nothing, but I got to sleep with a hot 23 year old girl every night. Now we have a large house and a nice car, but I'm sleeping with an old woman. What happened?

MOM: Go find yourself a hot 23 year old girl and I'll make sure you'll once again have nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Me, 22 years old, at my parents' house: "Dad, I'm taking a nap."

Dad: Okay. Put it back when you're done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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Why was the old house in pain?

It had shingles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabriel3334
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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When I was helping my dad rewire part of the house he told me that he could tell that a convict had done the old electrical work.

When I asked why he showed me a bundle of wires and said, "It's all confused."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediOfTheShire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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In old days it was considered very lucky to have a hen lay her eggs near the inside of the entrance of your house

As soon as a person walks in and sees this, they would know to expect good luck and fortune from the owner of the house and the whole family, but only if all of the chicks hatch and are all healthy. Every time you left a house, it was considered good luck to look at the hen, and wish it well to have all of its chicks born happy, healthy, and for the hen to live a long life. This is why they call it an egg-sit!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonmeservy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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My 3 year old son got the daycare lady with this one the other day while talking about spending the weekend with my parents at their lake house.

Daycare Lady: "does your Grandpa have a house on the lake?"

Son (with a serious face): "no his house is on the grass."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeLampz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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Talking to my dad about our old house

Dad: You know what I miss about our old house?

Me: what do you miss?

Dad: Our Henway

Me: what's a Henway?

Dad: about 2 pounds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeprido
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2013
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My 70 year old Dad, is SO proud of his "bird house" (r/woodworking crosspost)

I was told /r/dadjokes would like this.

My dad says it's the biggest birdhouse in the world. http://imgur.com/lzKJ3w4

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clineco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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Dad joked my 17 yr old who stayed at a friends house last night an we had a terrible rain storm

When he returned home this morning I looked at the car and yelled "did you leave the car out in the rain last night?"

His look of terror faded into disbelief that he fell for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juniorman00
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
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Old house renovations.

My dad and I were working on a 150+ year old house recently.

We go to fill the outer walls of one room with insulation, and while cutting out holes in the tops of them we smell something funny. Rats had made a single section of one wall the dedicated toilet. Without missing a beat my dad says "That's some shitty insulation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackCloudie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
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