A list of puns related to "Old Folks"
Mostly because theyβre not dead yet.
Broken hip hop?
She stops by Carl's room and sees him putting black shoe polish all over his penis. Dismayed, she exclaims "no, no, no Carl, you misunderstood. I said remember to turn your clock back."
Colorado.
(My 8 year old just made it up)
Edit: Thank you for the gilding, she's super happy about this all. You folks are too kind.
I guess that explains why all these old folks are so salty.
I was visiting my folks, and decided to take em out to dinner when Ma got home. We go for a feed, all is well. I'm standing up at the end of the table, leaning on its edge with me phone out as Ma was organising herself. Da came back from the loo, and asked me what I was doing on me phone.
"Checking me balance." I replied, showing him my bank app. I had just been paid and was moving money around to savings and such, after paying for dinner by phone NFC.
Without warning he gives me a good hip n shoulder, not hard enough to send me flying but enough to shift me a bit.
"Ya balance looks shit, boy."
He smirks at me as Ma groans audibly. Cheeky old bugger.
This is why he's going in a crooked retirement home you always see on the News.
βBecause it was a pencilβ
My friends 7 year old brother folks
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Boobies.
This from my 6 year old daughter folks.
Last night, my family came to pick me up from work after the kids' swim lessons. They were tired, hungry, grumpy, hungry, and hungry on the drive home.
My 6 year old: "Ugh... I'm going to die..."
Me: "You're right; we're all going to die. What are you going to die of?"
6yo: "Hunger and your jokes."
Me: "Well, I hope my jokes get you first. That sounds like a better way to go."
You heard it here first, folks. Dad jokes can potentially kill faster than starvation. Wield them carefully.
I was having dinner at my old folks' place. My mom served a salad and told us that it was an Italian salad from a cookbook she just got. My dad responded: 'nevermind, we won't be talking to it'.
My folks and their friends came to visit for a week. We're having a beer at the bar and we're talking about high school for some reason.
Female friend: All of my old friends are either dead or have a one leg.
Dad: Wait. You know her too?
FF: Yeah, Dorothy. She only has one leg.
Dad: Oh, I thought you were talking about Eileen.
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