I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding

The whole process was riveting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitalily
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I was telling jokes about nuts and bolts

But then I screwed up.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hensfan85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Someone once told me a story about screws, nuts and bolts.

It was Riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSquirrel73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do socket wrenches make bad lovers?

All they do is nut and bolt

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chc36
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/user7618
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?

He nuts and bolts!

Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedRocketMan_Y
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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What do you get when lightning strikes a pecan tree?

Nuts and Bolts. β›ˆ

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boop66
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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A man walks up to a crazy robot and says

"You're nuts!" and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMoonIsLonely
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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What do machines call their one night stands?

Nut and bolt

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epicface227
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Home Depot checkout line is as good a place as any for a dad joke

I needed to run to Home Depot just a little while ago, and my eight year old son has been driving my wife insane, so he was sent with me. He asked a hundred questions about what tool does what and why I needed this or that. Despite my distracted supervision, he surely mixed up several loose nuts and bolts.

At the exit of the self checkout line, there's a massive gumball machine that holds massive gumballs. I rarely carry change, so he's out of luck.

Sonny Boy: Dad, can I have a quarter?

Me (checking out): Nope. Don't have one.

Sonny Boy: You don't have any cents?

Me: If I had any cents, I'd have left you at home tonight.

No, he didn't get it, and I'm shocked he set it up so well by saying cents. But, the dude in the line next to me let out a solid guffaw. We made the satisfying, knowing eye contact of two dad joke aficionados. I'm glad someone else heard it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtsjr
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
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What does the sex hungry mechanic do in the bedroom?

He nuts and bolts

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spider_Dimwit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Did you here about the Mental Hospital patient that broke out and went on a rape spree?

The headlines read "Nuts, Bolts and screws!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phredex
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the machinist banned from the brothel?

Because he doesn’t pay. He nuts and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newt24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
See the headline about the insane inmate that escaped and attempted rape?

"Nut bolts and screws."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad went to school

Last night my dad, brother-in-law, and myself were discussing shop stuff, I was raised on a farm but never really got into the nuts and bolts of farming, machinery, etc. I was trying to name something common in engineering parlance and couldn't quite come up with it. My brother-in-law was also raised on a farm and is big into that sort of stuff, and this line of dialogue ensued:

Dad: "You need to go to engineering school"

Me: "What engineering school did you go to?"

Dad: "H.K."

Me: "What school is that?"

Dad: "Hard Knocks"

Me: rolls eyes

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jcwitte
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do during a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B7dust11
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a mechanic do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Is_A_Healer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a robot has a one night stand?

Nut and bolt

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do on a one night stand?

Nuts and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 226
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinderdva
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report

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