Number Five Puns

Now she's a small medium at large.

Just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing "Danger Zone" five times

Apparently I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts..

(from twitter)

My Little Sister: No! What happened?!

Dad: Dont worry, he woke up.

My Little Sister: ROLLS EYES

Me: Hahahahahaha! Nice.

My Little Sister: Omg! Is this funny?

Dad: No, THIS IS PATRICK! (We all really love SpongeBob SquarePants)

I GET UP TO GIVE MY DAD A HIGH FIVE AND HIS PHONE RINGS AS SOON AS I GET UP. IT'S MY MOM CALLING HIM FROM THE KITCHEN

Mom: Hi, I was wondering if I had the right number. Is this funny?

Dad: No! THIS IS PATRICK!

My Little Sister: Really?! You too Mom?!

Mom: No, I'm 49 sweetie.

My Little Sister: Nevermind! I'm watching, "Black Mirror," in my room by myself.

Dad: Sweetie, African American, don't just call them Black. That's not nice.

My Little Sister: ............. I hate you all.

• I know this isn't necessarily a,"Dad Joke." It's more of a conversation my Dad and Little Sister had. But it was seriously one of the funniest moments I've ever seen.

• I really love my family. Lol

Out of my top five favorite kinds, I'd rate dad jokes a solid number two.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight..." said the kid, pausing after eight.

"Can you say the next number?" The dad asked.

"Nein," The kid replied, not remembering the next number.

"Good job," The dad replied, confusing the kid.

There was a guy who was a gambler you know, he always bet on the number five, so he went to the horse races. He went on May 5, 2005, at 5:00 o'clock, he went to the fifth race, he bet on the fifth horse.

He got fifth place.

My 2.5-year-old son was singing Old MacDonald in the car and decided to be a little silly by having each verse be a progressive number of mittens on his farm.

When he got to five mittens, I asked him, "Why would he need so many mittens? How many hands does he have?"

While my son was thinking it over, my wife replied, "They are for all of his farmhands."

Last week at work one of my coworkers was filling out a postage label and was having some trouble, so she asked our boss about it.

While the two of them were talking, I hear the boss say, "and when you're putting our address, you'll also need to write the suite number."

I then added, "Don't put down the sour number," then headed out and had a good chuckle for the next five minutes.