I went to see my psychiatrist and told him that "no one understands me."
He said, "What do you mean by that?"
π︎ 141
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
No one ?
π︎ 36
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
I cant see why I am posting this, no one else will see this post
π︎ 208
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
No one at my party was able to break the clown piΓ±ata.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
...and no one thought about Nutellock ?!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I donβt what is so hard about it. Iβm a trapped peas artist.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
There is no one in here
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
No one likes this pandemic. Well, no one apart from Bane..
No one cared who he was until he put on the mask.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
I ain't no fortunate one
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
π︎ 17k
π
︎ May 06 2020
Did you know thereβs a law stating no one living within 5 miles of a cemetery can be buried there?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Why did no one talk to the Cutless
Because it doesnβt go straight to the point
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
π︎ 648
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
No one
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 13 2020
No one in Antarctica has COVID-19
It's because they are ice-o-lated.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
Why could no one understand the trains reasoning.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
That actor who doesnβt like To share with no one
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
I always thought it was weird that no one talks about demons in Africa.
Then I remembered-they bless the rains down in Africa.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
If a pun happens and no one is around to hear it, is it a pun at all?
Question in study guide: The term evacuative proctography is also commonly called ____________.
Me studying alone: um, hmm....eeesh..not sure..idk. Oh wait, defacogram!
Also me, silently: canβt believe I just pulled that answer outta my ass
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
What do you call a cake shop with no-one it?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
No one in Antartica has Covid
That's because...
They're ice-o-lated
π︎ 252
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I've heard so much about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one talks aboutβ¦
β¦the other four letters?
π︎ 572
π
︎ May 02 2020
No one ever laughs at my sausage jokes.
probably because they're the wurst
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
I made up a joke about the sound a tap makes when you turn it on full blast, but no one got it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
I lost my watch at a party once, turns out there was a guy harassing a woman while stepping on my watch. I went over to him a punched him, saying, βNo one does that to a woman...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
No one wants to listen to Whitesnake with me !
So here I go again on my own
π︎ 97
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
No one knows for sure how many Covid cases there are...
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
What does a one-armed person has no need for?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
I finally figured out why almost no one in my family finds my cheesy jokes and puns good.
They are all laughtose intolerant.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
No one laughs at my βbring an extra pair of pants when you go golfingβ joke.
I guess βhole-in-oneβ jokes are sub-par.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
I hope no one has a beef with this.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
π︎ 308
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
I tried to learn cursive but no one was any help
I could never get a straight answer
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
I told my friends and family a coronavirus joke at the start of quarantine, and no one laughed.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
When Dumboβs mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it.
It was the elephant in the womb.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
No ones takes better care of your lawn than Juan.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 08 2020
My grandpa trusted no one. He even had a favourite saying about it.
But he wouldnβt tell me.
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 21 2020
Why does no one in Antarctica have COVID-19?
Because they are ice-o-lated
π︎ 47
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
No one in Antartica has COVID-19.
Itβs because they are ice-o-lated.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
No one in Antarctica has Covid-19
It's because they're ice-o-lated
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
No one in Antartica has COVID-19.
Itβs because they are ice-o-lated.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
No one in Antarctica has coved-19
It's because they're ice-o-lated
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
Why no one in Antarctica has Covid-19?
It's because they're ice-o-lated
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 28 2020
No one on Antarctica has COVID-19
It's because they're ice-o-lated!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
