Sorry for the huge question -- I was wondering if anyone knew the reason why bullous pemphigoid alone does not have a positive nikolsky sign. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you!
I barely noticed the letter peeking out of the stack of bills. After six months of asking for work but never hearing back I had given up hope. Yet there it was; a letter from a job I had forgotten I applied to.
Dear Comrade,
We are pleased to announce that you have been chosen for the post of groundskeeper at the building formerly known as The United Peopleโs Institute of Science. As mentioned in the advert, your daily payments will be sent in cash to your mailing address. You are expected to report for the evening shift tomorrow (16:00 โ 04:00)
Due to the history of the facility we are unable to provide a direct address, but attached is satellite imagery that can guide your way. Once you reach the edge of the forest keep on heading North. The foliage around the facility is quite distinctive. Once you see the trees start to wither you will know you are heading in the right direction.
NB: Surrounding the institute there is a ditch filled with water. Avoid it. If the water makes any contact with your skin immediately contact your supervisor.
Near the building of the facility there is a guard shack. This is where you are to spend the majority of your time. If you need to contact your supervisor there is a phone. There is also a cabinet of tools in case your work requires it.
Upon arriving at work you are to:
1) Ensure the door to the facility is not obstructed in any way.
If any items have been placed in front of the facility, remove them. If they cannot be removed without the aid of machinery, contact your supervisor. Bolt cutters, a blowtorch and a crowbar are available in the tool cabinet. Do not contact the supervisor unless you are certain the problem cannot be handled by you alone.
NB: Do not open the door once it is unblocked.
2) Search the area for vagrants.
If you find any vagrants that are alive and in the vicinity of the building or inside of your shack, instruct them to go inside of the facility. Tell them they are entitled to free food and liquor inside.
NB: Do not follow the vagrants into the facility.
In the unfortunate event of a corpse being found on the premises do not contact the city police. The building that was formerly known as The United Peopleโs Institute of Science is not within their jurisdiction. If corpses are found, contact your supervisor.
3) Return to the shack and monitor the grounds.
*Once you are certain that the door to the facility is accessible and that no unacc
... keep reading on reddit โกI don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐
It really does, I swear!
Theyโre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
Why
Itโs pronounced โNoel.โ
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! ๐ Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.
โBOOMโ?!
free
