My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch βGaslightβ
I told her βwe already watched that together, donβt you remember?β
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︎ Sep 14 2020
I couldn't watch last night's origami show
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︎ Feb 02 2021
Old Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies) got in an accident that left him with a glass eye. It was uncomfortable to sleep in over night so he took it out and hired a servant to watch it.
It was his Jed Eye Master.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I stayed up all night to watch the sunrise.
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︎ Nov 03 2020
I went camping in my backyard last night, bringing along my tablet to watch Pulp Fiction.
I call it "Tentin' Quarantino".
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︎ May 30 2020
I asked my friend if he would rather be hit in the genitals really hard, driven over a cliff and smacked in the face by a lesbian OR watch his favourite late night host. βThatβs easyβ, he replied...
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Last night I lost my watch at a party.
Later on I saw some guy harassing a woman while standing on it, so I walked up and punched him in the face.
Nobody does that to a woman.... not on my watch
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︎ Mar 13 2019
On a movie night, Her: Ugh, are we really going to watch Batman Forever?
Me: No, only for the next 2 hours.
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︎ Jun 26 2018
Girlfriend told me she forgot to watch Gotham the other night...
Me: "You might say you forGothamed it."
She groaned.
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︎ Sep 25 2014
My wife and I watched 3 movies back to back last night.
Luckily I was the one facing the screen.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Last night I watched a documentary on how ships are made.
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︎ Jun 24 2020
I watched a movie about graphs last night, but I was slightly disappointed.
The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.
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︎ Mar 17 2019
Watching John Wick 2 the other night. While Keanu and Common are fighting while both holding the knife the tables turn and Keanu flips the knife around and thrusts it into Commons chest...again while both holding the grip. To which I turn to to my family and say
At least the both have something "in" common.
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︎ Jul 06 2020
I am staying at a hotel and watched a great movie last night with lots of cowboys, gunfights, and drinking.
It was the Best Western Iβve ever seen.
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︎ Mar 15 2020
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:
"Where the fuck is my roof?"
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︎ Feb 13 2020
I was watching the news last night...
I was watching the news last night and it said there would be some flash photography.
Well Im no cameraman but it looked pretty ordinary to me.
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︎ Feb 11 2020
Why does Gordon Ramsay not like watching WWE on Monday nights?
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︎ Dec 19 2019
Watched a documentary on illegal drugs last night. Five Stars.
Most documentaries are more enjoyable that way.
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︎ Mar 19 2018
I just watched Sunday Night Football
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
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︎ Sep 30 2019
I watched 127 Hours for the first time last night
That movie was way shorter than I thought it would be.
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︎ Apr 18 2019
Last night, I watched a documentary about mozzarella cheese.
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︎ Aug 17 2018
My brother after watching the winner of a women's swimming event last night
Mom: is that swimmer Russian?
Bro: well.. Not anymore, she finished
Blank stares turned to realizations and then everyone threw stuff at him
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︎ Aug 08 2016
Last night I watched a performance of the accapella group from the nearby army base.
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︎ Mar 22 2019
Co-worker: "I watched my first porno last night."
Me: "Your first one? Yeah, bullshit."
Him: "No really. My god did I ever look young."
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︎ Oct 08 2014
My parents were watching the Women's World cup last night
My mom saw a player that was particularly androgynous and asked my father "Is she transgender? She looked like Caitlyn Jenner."
My father, without taking his eyes off the game responded "No, she's trans-jenner."
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︎ Jun 27 2015
I watched a standup comedian last night doing a terrible unfunny bit about fonts.
He was a Comic sans the humor.
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︎ Mar 20 2019
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies
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︎ Mar 21 2019
I was watching a boxing match last night and a hockey broke out.
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︎ Jan 13 2019
So the other night I made a belt out of watches...
But it turned out to be a waist of time
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︎ Apr 17 2017
Had fun watching Little League baseball last night until I got into a sticky situation.
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︎ May 04 2018
I started watching a new TV show about fishing last night.....
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︎ Jan 16 2018
I was staying up all night to watch the sunrise...
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︎ Nov 25 2017
Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Last night me and my wife watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back
Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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︎ Feb 08 2020
Last night your mom and I watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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︎ Jan 24 2020
I watched a documentary about beavers last night
It was the best dam program Iβve ever seen
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︎ Jun 23 2019
Last night me and my wife watched 3 films back to back.
Luckily for me I was the one facing the telly
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︎ Oct 15 2019
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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︎ Jul 04 2019
I watched an interesting documentary on beavers last night.
Best dam program Iβve ever seen.
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︎ Sep 27 2019
Last night me and my wife watched two DVDs back to back
Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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︎ Aug 07 2019
Last night, me and my friend watched 3 DVDs back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the tv.
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Last night, me and my friend watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
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︎ May 24 2019
Last night my girlfriend and I watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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︎ Oct 08 2018
Last night I went out and watched a movie about cheese.
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︎ Mar 20 2019
So I watched a show last night about how ships are held together......
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︎ Apr 21 2018
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