My Country My Life Puns

Recently I took a very spontaneous last minute trip across the country. It really cleared my head from all the nonsense in my life right now. A friend of mine got inspired by that and said fuck it, I'm going somewhere random too (he ended up deciding Zion Park in Utah). He texted me that he was getting anxious about it and was about to back out, so I replied "You can't back out now, you said you want to do something crazy so do it. Utah-k the talk, now you gotta walk the walk."

I took one of the chocolates without him noticing and placed it upon my head. I then turned to him with a very stern face and said "Dad i need to talk to you about something"

dad: "what son?"

me: "I am actually really afraid for my life"

dad: "what are you talking about?"

me: "i think someone has been payed to kill me"

dad: "what , why?"

me: "I guess you could say someone has" tilting head forward to reveal the chocolate "placed a bounty on my head"

He cried a little with laughter and said he missed having me around (he recently moved country with my mum) because mum dosn't make those kind of jokes. It was a beautiful father son bonding moment.

I didn't come up with this but its been flying around reddit for a while...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you

can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be

driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends,

family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much

on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit

there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to

stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin

flowing and pumps up the old heart!

At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's

an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART! LOVE EACH OTHER! YEP!

My job is done! Life is too short for negative drama and petty

things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

From one unstable person to another. I hope everyone is happy in your head -

we're all doing pretty well in mine!

Just kidding. All my travel plans are to doctors and the bathroom.