Did you hear about the Mexican terrorist...?

Did you hear about the Mexican terrorist who planted a bomb on the train? He had loco motives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.

He had loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigscarydaniel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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The car salesman wouldn’t stop trying to upsell me to the leather seats

He had interior motives

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saucyminnow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What do you call a crazy reason for robbing a train?

A loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

A: Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

B: No, what was the trip for?

A: To see his wife. It was a Yoko motive.

(original)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmkay_then
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?

Investigators aren't sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeftClickMadness
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crazy Mexican kill people on trains?

He has loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Railway companies must be nuts.

After all, they have loco-motives.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wontonnoodles98
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the train robbery down in Mexico?

They said the robber had a loco-motive.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenburrito_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Found guilty on all charges, the train couldn't rationalize his off-the-wall behavior.

It was a loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.

Guess it is a pretty loco motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Michael428
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend made a pretty punny video :)

https://youtu.be/vFI1k8P0aH0

Comment to give her sum motivation to continue :) ...but only if you want too :))

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πŸ‘€︎ u/getraxx2020
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the train conductor commit a crazy crime?

Because he had a Loco-motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJRichter
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A train engineer believed a hospital ship was the site of secret government conspiracy and decides to ram it with his train.

Now that's what I call a loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KROMATIXX_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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Eduardo Moreno tried to crash his train into a Navy hospital ship to expose a supposed conspiracy

That’s a crime with a loco motive

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the train kill the other train for no good reason?

He had loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/souphead420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A young man wants to become a lumberjack, so he goes to the forest and starts chopping.

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusMatrix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the train conductor in Mexico that got arrested for murder?

Yeah, apparently he had Loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Spanish train robber

A psycho was recently arrested for train robbery. He spoke both English and Spanish, although all we've heard is that he had some sort of loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PixxelMaster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the car thief arrested?

He had an auto-motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Three Dad Jokes on the way to school this morning.

So, we're driving up a tree-lined street where people often have wedding/family photos taken. It's lined with live oaks and is pretty beautiful. That prompted this conversation.

12 y/o daughter: Why do people sometimes get their wedding photos taken on train tracks? That doesn't make sense.

Me: Because they choo-choose to? [with a debt to Ralphie Wiggam]

6 y/o daughter (Loud groan): Papi, that's a terrible joke.

Me: So you think you could engineer a better one if I train you?

12 y/o: Dad why do you always make these awful jokes?

Me: Because I've got loco motives!

At that point I started laughing so hard I couldn't come up with anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
🚨︎ report
A train engineer pled insanity for wrecking the train.

That was his loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train robber??

He had Loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingobaby98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a suspicious β€˜accident’ at a construction site. The police investigated all the workers at the job site . . .

It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty_Entendre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the Mexicans rob the train?

Because they had loco motives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiptonite08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the maniac kill the train engineer?

He had a loco-motive.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humor_Tumor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the engineer who had a crazy reasoning for doing something?

He had a loco motive

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyrdrink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A Mexican train conductor recently plead insanity.

He said he had a loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stage_directions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the self-driving car that purposely ran someone over?

It was an auto-motive.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jo_Re13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crazy Mexican jump on the train?

He had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nereothefinest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crazy guy steal a train?

He just had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxAvery
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust a vampire?

They always have arterial motives.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Btamb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A train robbed a bank.

What kind of loco motives could it have?

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cringelord123456
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A young man wants to become a lumberjack, so he goes to the forest and starts chopping.

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusMatrix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?

Because he had a loco-motive.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CREEPONATER
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Its not our business. Soon there will be a day where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Felixwarp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train robber

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 207
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dotesmagoats3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To have its motives questioned.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fish_dish99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust a train?

Because it has loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 309
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deecool1000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
🚨︎ report
A man wanted to impress his friends so he stole a train…

The police said "That's a loco motive."

πŸ‘︎ 195
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jezmck
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2017
🚨︎ report

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