There's two things I love more than anything in this world: multitasking, and getting banned from zoos.
So I killed two birds with one stone.
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︎ Apr 18 2022
This one was my father's favorite joke before my brother and I were teens and starting joking or laughing about something more mature than we were. He'd say in a whisper "Do your want to hear something really dirty?"
After we'd shut up and started listening he'd say,
"Six white horses fell in the mud!"
I use that one on my son on occasion and I hear the same groan as I had at his age. You taught me well, Dad. I miss you!
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︎ May 22 2022
Having sold more flowers this season than ever before, she was forced to declare . . .
. . that business was blooming.
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︎ May 03 2022
Due to this sub's unending debate about what equals a "Dad Joke", I have my own measure for whether or not to upvote/award... It must be more than some lame, unimaginative, "heard it 1000 times" pun. I just reviewed whether the top 10 jokes off all time from this sub meet this standard, and sadly...
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︎ Dec 10 2021
This row between Kim and Kanye is getting more serious than ever.
Itβs really going to send their daughter in two directions.
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︎ Feb 07 2022
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I need help following up with this pun, this is a video about a scientist giving a lecture about fire, I canβt think of any more other than pun-ch line
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︎ Nov 28 2020
This is more than meets the eye.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
This year, 2021, I want more dough than a baker
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︎ Jan 11 2021
This made me laugh so hard... More than I should have, for sure
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︎ Mar 28 2019
Husband: Babe, I got paid more than I expected! This is great!!!!
Wife: Sweet! How much are we talking??
Husband: Well it is normally $1000, but this time I got $1000.02!!!!!!!
Wife: ...thats not that great.
Husband: Well I think it is, but thatβs just my two cents.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
My motherβs leg was amputated 2 years ago. I wrote this punderful post to make her smile. It was more than successful and also impressed her doctor.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Thought you might appreciate this more than r/hmmm did
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︎ Dec 10 2018
This just in: 2 men broke into the city bank using nothing more than a few mannequin limbs.
Officials say we are dealing with an armed robbery
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Groups of more than six will be banned under new Corona rules. So we all know what this means...
Sneezy is getting kicked out the seven dwarfs.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
The moment I learned that βphα»β is actually pronounced βfuh,β I knew the time was ripe to write a Google review for my all-time favourite phα» restaurant. (I guess this qualifies more as βracy wordplayβ than it does βpunnyβ?)
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︎ Jan 10 2020
Saw this on r/europe and it deserves more upvotes than it has.
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︎ Apr 11 2019
Someone sent me a video on WhatsApp saying, "I bet you can't watch this for more than 10 seconds!"
He was absolutely right. The video was only 5 seconds long.
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︎ Jan 12 2019
There was some controversy in the sports world this week, when they allowed some athletes to try out for the Olympic gymnastics team more than once
I thought it was just revaulting
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︎ Sep 30 2017
this made me laugh more than it should have
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︎ Apr 13 2018
Why this goose got a more interesting life than I do?!
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︎ Oct 14 2017
Today, my son asked me: "Can I have a bookmark?" I instantly bursted into tears. for more than 2 years, people are still saying this joke. It's getting too old...
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︎ Mar 24 2019
Who crashed more than Post Malone this week?
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︎ Aug 22 2018
My girlfriend is flatulent because she had more milk, cheese and ice cream than usual this weekend.
You could say she is having trouble with her dairy air.
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︎ Nov 24 2017
This sentence has more points than Germany.
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︎ May 23 2015
He repeated this joke more than once at the grocery store...
Me: "we need finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese"
Dad: "well it's about time they shredded it!"
Me: -_-
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︎ Dec 27 2014
I laughed at this more than I should have [x-post from r/labrats]
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︎ Nov 17 2013
This building has more occupancy than most
https://i.reddituploads.com/44eb2dd5c0dc46278edbe7e6366eb8e7?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=467b8dd3adb448a3795d78348f23a3f5
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︎ Jan 16 2017
This response infuriated me more than "go and clean your room then"
Me: Dad, I'm bored!
Dad: I'm chairman of the board
UGHHHHH DAAAAAAD.
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︎ Mar 16 2014
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