They really mis-named the superhero called "Ant-man"
He should really be called Uncle.
Can't really take credit, my nieces made the joke while watching the movie. Regionally "Aunt" is pronounced as "ant"
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 29 2021
What did God do after he created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness?
π︎ 183
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
I just returned from my MIL's funeral, she was hit on the head during a tennis match & killed
It was a lovely service...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
Scientists became so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours
π︎ 25
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.
They decided to call it a day.
π︎ 68
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
Why do ghosts like to haunt bras?
Because of the boo-bies
Thought of this after mis-reading u/nemesis0884's joke
π︎ 117
π
︎ May 21 2021
My MIL, rest her soul, asked about my background while I was dating my wife.
I was worried, as I'm a bit of a mutt.
She says she didn't care as long as I didn't have Roman hands or Russian fingers.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
Mi me chiama JAR JAR BINGS...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
How do you keep a dolt in suspense for 24 hours?
I'll let you know tomorrow
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
2020 24 hours to go!
π︎ 47
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
How do you call a Steak cook Uncorrectly?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
Hi everyone 24(F) here
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with
π︎ 24
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Why is 24 always full?
Because it 8 and 8 and 8.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Iβm ready to share my Grandmaβs special Gold soup recipe: first you boil the water,
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 26 2021
My uncle once had a 24-hour epileptic episode.
Now that's what I call seizing the day.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
MIL sent me this toaday.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jul 09 2017
Why isn't the 24th of July a holiday?
Are we really expected to work 24/7?
π︎ 157
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
My BIL always draws pictures on our take home boxes. This is our MIL's
imgur.com/6JysP2g
π︎ 34
π
︎ Oct 10 2016
Early scientists would watch the world spin for 24 hours...
Then they got bored and called it a day.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
How many letters are in the English alphabet?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 06 2021
For all those who promised their SO they would be with them 24/7
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fall down stairs!
Step 28
Step 27
Step 24
Step 21
Step 16
Step 12
Step 7
Step 3
Step 1
π︎ 654
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Got some 24 carrot gold right here π
π︎ 49
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
A friend completely mis-said something. 5 minutes of crappy mobile photoshop later....
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
I was a dad for less than 24 hours when I came up with this one
We had a little girl at 34 weeks. She was very fussy and the nurse called her a little diva.
I responded with, βMore like a preemie-Donnaβ
The wife groaned and rolled her eyes.
The nurse asked for permission to use that since we were in the NICU.
I made it, fellas.
Oh, and mom and baby are doing well!
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 02 2017
God finished creating the 24-hour cycle on Earth...
...with both darkness and light taking turns. He admired his hard work with a smile and a sigh. An angel asked him βWhatβs wrong, Lord?β God replied βI think Iβm gonna call it a day.β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
The Trump Presidency didn't end with a bang...
π︎ 40
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
I tried to name a period of 24 hours.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 14 2020
What did Adam say to his girlfriend on December 24?
It's Christmas, Eve!
Ps Merry Christmas, happy holidays etc etc to all my fellow dads and dad joke lovers π
π︎ 102
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
My cat fell off the kitchen counter trying to push the food bowl...
I guess there is a mis-cat-culation
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Coming up with names for periods of time is really tiring.
The people who originally did it tried to figure out a word for a 24 hour period until sunset.
Then they just gave up and called it a day.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
Iβve made a terrible mis steak
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 16 2018
Atoms
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
Today, Friday, February 19th, is National Prevent Plagiarism Day
As a tribute, Reddit r/Jokes will be quarantined for 24 hours.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
Mi Shell Pfizer indeed
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 13 2018
So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said βIβve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earthβ. The Angel said βWhat are you going to do now?β ...
βOh I think Iβll call it a dayβ God replies.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
Scientists became so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
I was watching the rotation of the Earth, but I got bored after 24 hours.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours
π︎ 744
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Dec 27 2018
Hello everyone 24 (F) here.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 29 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
