A man is having pains so he goes to the doctor to get checked out. The doctor does some tests and comes back telling the man that he has a bacterial growth in his bladder causing pain. The man asks what's they means for him. The doctor replies...

Urine trouble

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📅︎ Mar 15 2019
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AP chem teacher dadjoked me

"How long is this test?"

"About 11 inches"

Edit: Didn't think it'd be too big of a deal but I put "AP" just from habit, didn't think about it much. For those that don't know, "AP" means "Advanced Placement".

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/JasonSmi
📅︎ Sep 12 2014
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If an AI simulation of a pop singer performs all over the world ...
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👤︎ u/ir8prim8
📅︎ Sep 02 2019
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My girlfriend should learn to buckle up when she gets in a head on collision with my dadjokes.

My girlfriend was shopping for a new vehicle when she messaged me and said, "I can't find a standard to test drive. It saddens me."

To which I replied, "You mean it sedans you?"

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📅︎ Dec 29 2014
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I just made a dad joke to a hospital patient.

So I work in a hospital, doing tilt table tests (for people that faint). The test sucks for the patients, because it's uncomfortable and makes people feel anxious.

Anyway, my patient earlier was an awesome young lady, who happens to have cerebral palsy, so her legs are different lengths, and her arms draw up and are very rigid. She had the best attitude, and was very charming.

So, while she's standing upright, strapped to the table, she was getting pretty anxious, and uncomfortable, since she keeps sliding to one side since one leg leg is longer than the other...

I thought I'd lighten the mood, so I said: "Well, I guess your mom should have named you Ilene huh"?

The nurse looked at me like I was a COMPLETE asshole... But the patient, she laughed her ass off! It was great. After that point she was a lot less tense, and we were able to finish up.

And no, I wasn't being mean when I said it, because I knew she could take the joke. :D

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📅︎ Jan 26 2015
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