If Mark Wahlberg married into the old French aristocracy...
When Marky Mark talks straight to the camera, he’s breaking the 4th Wahlberg.
Saw a vid of Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg exchange Dad jokes for Daddy’s Home 2.
Don’t know if it’s against the rules but here’s the link. https://www.facebook.com/AllDefDigital/videos/1558974744195385/
I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."
She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."
Paul Wahlberg owns Wahlburgers
If he owned Wal-Mart, would it be called Wahl-Mart?
What do you call a yoga studio with Wahlberg, Zuckerberg and Hamill?
What do you call Mark Zuckerberg in a bikini?
My son asked if he could have a book mark
I broke down crying. Its been 15 years and he still doesn't know my name is jack!
Just saw Mark Knopfler walking down the Road...
He was carrying a 19th century French masterpiece under his arm and a cage with 2 baby birds in his hand.
I asked how much they were and he said, "I got my Monet for nothing and the Chicks for free".
Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war
He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had
Did you know that dogs communicate with each other by marking their territory?
So when they sniff and mark the same places everyday, they are just checking and responding to their pee-mail.
A semicolon got arrested
It got 2 back to back sentences.
I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Whatsapp has changed its feature previously known as ‘marked as read’
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life
"You just mark my words"
I said to the English teacher.
If Mark has been accused of plagiarizing my content; Mark!? My words.
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks “What are you counting?”
And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”
That’s gonna leave a mark...
Why is Mark Zuckerberg better than Tim Cook?
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
He has a one track mind. Mark Twain is his father.
His name is.....
Choo choo Twain!
What do you call a guy working at the library?
My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
For the final piece of coursework in my art diploma, I used my knife to cut a line across Mr Hamill and Mr Wahlberg just after they'd finished eating.
Why can pirates never finish the alphabet?
Because they always get lost at C.
Where did the question mark go
I’m going to start collecting highlighters.
I know a lady who means well, but is very annoying telling people how to mark their trails...
She’s a caring cairn Karen.
Somehow, we got on the topic of Chevy Chase's filmography
Coworker: "Didn't Fletch have that chase scene in it?"
Me: "I'd say it had a lot of Chase scenes."
I received a new personal record for eye rolls per single joke.
A couple were doing their work on the same table.
The husband picked up a highlighter pen and asked his wife what it was.
"A highlighter pen", said the wife.
"And what is it used for?"
"To mark important thing", the wife answered.
Then the husband drew a huge line on her forehead.
Not the best joke ever but I just came up with it and felt you could do it to your significant other.
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life
I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Whatsapp has changed it’s feature previously known as ‘marked as read’
I confronted my friend Mark because he refuses to return my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Oh hi Mark
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
My son Tiberius just came up to me and said "can I have a book Mark?"
....and I burst into tears 🤣. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Memphis.
I was really mad at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
