MC Daleste Puns

ia ser tiro e queda

O brasileirão acabou, então venho aqui propor um ponto onde a gente possa fazer uma feira dos jogadores dos nossos times.

Venho oferecer aqui alguns bons nomes:

Muriel - A grande vantagem de ter o Muriel no seu time é que o Alisson vai ser visto com camisas do seu time, pode aparecer no CT pra treinar um dia, tira foto com a galera, bom pra fazer um marketing pro seu time.

Matheus Ferraz - O Sergio Reis da zaga foi importante aqui em 2019, mas já deu o que tinha que dar. Agradeço pelo que fez aqui, mas quem quiser pode levar.

Egidio - "Coé Justen", "Piscininha Amor" e muito mais. O Gidão é o rei do carisma, só falta o futebol mesmo, mas isso a gente releva.

Danilo Barcelos - Bate muito bem na bola. É isso. Ponto.

Wellington - "Obrigado pelo dom, meu Deus!". Joga alegre, feliz, tranquilo, não atoa é apelidado de Wellington Risadinha. O maior problema de ter o Wellington no time, é que uma hora ele vai jogar.

Hudson - O Hudson é lindo demais, pensa na apresentação do uniforme novo do seu time com ele de modelo. Ta maluco irmão, vai vender igual água. É bom ter um jogador gostoso no elenco.

Ganso - Ganso

Lucca - Craque da bola, faz gol de tudo quanto é jeito. Gol olimpico? Ele tem. Na pequena área? Ele tem. Na grande área? Ele tem. De cabeça? Ele tem. De falta? Ele tem. Contra ataque fulminante? Ele tem. CRAVADOR NATO.

Felipe Melo - Como diria Mc Daleste "Cheguei, mas to saindo".

Estou aberto a propostas, façam suas ofertas galera.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭