Lorraine finally leaves her husband Dave. His open flirting with the new neighbour Deidre, is the last straw..

Dave reads her leaving note and thinks, "Great",

" I can see Deidre now Lorraine has gone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontmeenafing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My wife Lorraine left me because I always burst into song.

I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection

The judge asked her, β€œfirst offender” β€œNo,” she says β€œfirst a Gibson then a Fender

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I just heard on the news, Adele has been sent to prison for 8 years

She was charged for setting fire to Lorraine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a girl name Clearly. Lorraine suddenly dies.

At the funeral the man sings 'I can see Clearly now that Lorraine is gone'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brock_a_boo22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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When I was young I had a girlfriend called Lorraine

But really wanted to be with her sister clery instead. One day Lorraine got hit by a bus and landed in the ocean where she was mauled by giant penguins and sadly died.

I guess I can see clery now Lorraine has gone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
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I dated two girls at the same time in high school.

Kate and Edith. They both found out pretty quick... taught me a good lesson... You can’t have your Kate and Edith too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAneedsAJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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This guy is seeing this gal named Clearly.

Suddenly, his wife Lorraine dies. The day of the funeral comes, and this guy seems pretty happy. I look over to him and say, β€˜Why are you so happy?’

He looks back at me and says β€˜I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boyleolio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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About a year ago, my girlfriend left me for a Kenyan athlete. We remained friends, but I haven’t heard from her in a while.

I guess Lorraine’s down in Africa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/great_red_dragon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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A man is cheating on his wife, Lorraine, with another woman named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine dies.

As the man leaves her funeral, he sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danocurrygravy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly.

Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sizzleshawty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
🚨︎ report

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