Remember folks: (spotted in Longwell Green)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoTheClown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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Any recommendations for a garage not too far from Longwell Green?

Might need a new clutch but current place is booked up for weeks 😬 Cheers.

Edit: awesome, cheers all

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nmcc69
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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Anyone know what this area of BS30/Longwell green is like to live in?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarshallTom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Bus from hengrove to longwell green

As the title, finish work at 6AM, live in longwell green just down from asda. What bus's can I get to get home? Normally am on the bike but it won't be usable until maybe Tuesday, can anyone tell what bus's? Hengrove leisure park to longwell green.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/battyryder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Looking for builders for agricultural workshop near longwell green

Ground is level grass field

60 sq m 6 x 10 Lots of solid wood double doors

Electrical cabling and sockets for solar or diesel generator connection

Guttering for rainwater harvesting Plumbing

Skylights

Ventilation for fireplaces and kitchenware

Floor electrical sockets throughout

Does anybody know any good builders please?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forestlarder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Has anybody in Longwell Green lost a lot of swimming goggles? bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no73
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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2 tickets for 1917 at longwell green Vue - FREE!

Hi, I've accidentally booked these tickets and cannot attend on Thursday. 2 tickets for the 20.30 showing at Vue Cinema longwell green. Its a great film and about to end its run at the cinema. I recommend seeing it on the big screen.

EDIT - these are now gone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snipd0g
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Shoutout to staff at b&q in longwell green

Who observed social distancing, controlled the number of people in the store, provided a cloth for people wash their hands on entry and generally working well under tough circumstances- even with the moany twat who tried to stroll into the shop then bitched about how nothing they were doing was right because he had to wait in line for a whole 5 minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldrob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Ferocious attack on man near Asda at Longwell Green bristolpost.co.uk/news/br…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarshallTom
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Bristol Grammar Vigilante - Longwell Green needs you!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leilabeanie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Craven Way (Longwell Green) roadworks?

Went down today and noticed they've ripped out all the traffic calming in favour of those useless long speedbumps that you don't have to slow down for. Anyone know the logic?

I'm assuming there was excess traffic that needed to be freed up, as whenever I've driven down there it's been pretty slow going.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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[SchefterBot] And so Greg Jennings follows the path of Brett Favre and Ryan Longwell from Green Bay to Minnesota. twitter.com/AdamSchefter/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schefter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2013
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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What do you call quesadillas you eat in the morning?

Buenosdillas

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarronKeepSucks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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i Karenough to
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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OPEN LAND FOR DRIVING BRISTOL?

Hello, me and my dad were wondering if anyone knew any good spots for open driving. Maybe like a big warehouse or car park? We’re not too sure and aren’t convinced there are many about but I’m sure someone knows somewhere. Only asking as I want to learn to drive safely. Cheers

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2021
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No spoilers
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Covid problems
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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Spi__
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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The Ancient Romans II
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majorpain2006
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk2ec
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTreelo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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School Was Clothed
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kennydoe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoughtPumP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Letting loose with these puns
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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Couch potato
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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Baka!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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Small gyms in South Bristol for someone who has social anxiety.

Does anyone know if there are any small friendly gyms around At George, Hanham or Kingswood that are relatively quiet?

I have quite social anxiety and can't really get myself to go to larger gyms like PureGym etc. as it stresses me out and I can't actually focus on working out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLiMoNiZeRi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2021
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All dad jokes are bad and here’s why

Why

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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concrete πŸ—Ώ
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

It’s pronounced β€œNoel.”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beef_fried_rice
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2021
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Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?

After all his first name is No-vac

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hangryman23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

  • Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

  • French/Finnish art

  • Country/Canadian rap

  • Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

  • Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hootanahalf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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That’s Michelle
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FLEXSEALBREAKER
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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