My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.

But will she leave me ?

Find out next week.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2021
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Which superhero can boast of two sets of LGBT grandparents?

Batman.

Coz: Nana Nana Nana Nana...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hootanahalf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
With the lack of sports on television, networks are going to show the world origami championship.

It’ll be on paper view.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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A list of puns I made about a friend named Ann.

ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevotionInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are gas powered cars part of the LGBT community?

They have a transmission.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Jim Morrison was standing in front of the television as a child, blocking his father's view of the game.

His father shouted, "Jim! You make a better Door than a window!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidlyugly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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A conversation I had on a dating app. For context, her instagram is mainly pictures of chairs and her name rhymes with chair.
πŸ‘︎ 908
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No-Priority5118
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a star wars character's favorite type of car?

A ToYoda

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATLUTDisMe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog peed on my list of favorite businesses in the city

Now what’s left is Yellow Pages

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrabApprehensive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
When I married my wife, I made a list of all the chores I knew how to do to help out in the house.

It was the list I could do

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't think of many puns with country names

Kenya guys give me some help here? Cause there's Norway I can think of some after this?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjgbu4545
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I got into an argument with my video game character

He said I was too controlling.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefastest9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I googled "What can you make with 50kg of sulfur?"

I got 1,500,000 matches

πŸ‘︎ 516
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A man walks in to a bar with a piece of asphalt

The man says to the bartender β€œ1 for me, and 1 for the road”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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Every time I post on r/dadjokes, someone comments with a better version of my joke

I guess I suffer from premature ejokeulation

πŸ‘︎ 256
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Transcription of a message pic, seen on r/lgbt

Mom: Can you come out?

Kid: Yeah, gimme a minute.

Kid: Mom, I'm gay.

Mom: I know that silly, come out to the car.

Kid: Car, I'm gay.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaLately
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events canceled, they’re going to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a vampire's favorite kind of television?

Plasma

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicNoletree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey friends! In support of the LGBTQ+ community I wanted to design a punny pride greeting card and I am so happy with how it turned out :D let me know what you think!
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limechic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a firearm with bullets made of salt?

A Salt Rifle

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scadstorm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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A Warrior with a Sense of Style
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I've never seen star wars. Are these the names of the characters? reddit.com/gallery/ku5asv
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/merppymerp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My son made a block with six equal sides out of frozen water.

I said "Now that's a nice cube!"

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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I heard Disney opened up a high school with a diverse field of study

They even had a 101 on Dalmatians

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Careful_Bunch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
🚨︎ report
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

πŸ‘︎ 337
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.

It was the hardest dump I ever took

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
A Pirate walks into a bar with a captain's wheel sticking out of his pants......

The bartender asks - "Hey isn't that uncomfortable?"

Pirate says "Arrrrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0undJunk1e
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...

wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaaaasowenyaaa
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the best kind of turd to eat with a hotdog?

Musturd.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rusto_Dusto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes

It Taurus apart

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I once saw a vegan sticking two pieces of paper together with hummus.

I asked him, 'why are you doing that?'

He replied, 'hummus is a vegan staple'.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?

Bob

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpahpa256
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A hypnotist once convinced me that I was a soft malleable metal with the atomic number of 82.

I am easily lead.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve come up with a new word for when you remove your bra at the end of the day: Gravititty
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/small-rainbow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I rescued a dog with no legs from a pile of leaves...

I think I’ll name him Rustle

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I took a picture of a wheat field with a camera.

The picture came out grainy

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says...

"Two beers, please. One for me, and one for the road."

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crazehness
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
🚨︎ report
With so many supporting events being canceled, they're going to televise the World Origami Championships.

It will be on Paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being cancelled they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship...

It’s on paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niloc12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dennyitlo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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