I would tell a joke about quantum mechanics...
But if you saw it, it wouldn't be as good
Understanding Quantum Mechanics is both a blessing and a curse.
My broken down car is haunted by the ghost of a mechanic...
He told me he really wants a pay rise but his supervisor can't review his performance without a working car-boo-rator.
My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.
Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.
Did you hear about the mechanic who got fired from the garage?
Apparently he had very poor motor skills.
I got an Art History degree but ended up being a mechanic
I had a customer who loved that I made their Van Gogh, but hated it when I talked their ear off.
What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have?
What's a frog's favourite type of mechanical fastener?
Why do dad jokes about quantum mechanics never work?
You cant know if theres a punch line or a punch wave
You know what bugs me about quantum mechanics?
They charge $500 to "fix" a bunch of stuff that probably wasn't even really wrong with your atom in the first place.
Who's the best friend of a french mechanic?
I asked my mechanic why everyone made fun of what was on my wheel
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
How did the mechanic feel after he left the muffler shop?
I asked my mechanic why he was dressed as a female fox.
He said he was just vixen my car.
I always feel like an outsider around mechanical keyboards
I really like what mechanics wear...
What do you call a mechanical polar bear
Always part of a classical dish
What do a mechanic and a lesbian have in common?
I had a mechanic fix up my lunch
but he didn't know how to tuna salad
Why did the fish drive to the mechanic
I'm going to have to fire my mechanic. He's always losing track of time.
And "Temporal Mechanics" is a dumb name for a company anyway.
My mechanic tells me my engine keeps stalling because of excess friction.
Now I know I'm getting some wear.
Why are KKK members terrible car mechanics?
They never check under the hood.
A mechanic fell asleep and was crushed when another mechanic didn’t see him and lowered the lift. Cause of death? He was tire’d.
My teacher is giving a lecture on the mechanisms of drilling
So far, I find it very boring
What do you call a Turkish mechanic?
Did you hear about the mechanic who fell asleep under the car?
He woke up oily in the morning
What does a mechanical frog say?
I brought my car to a mechanic and asked him, “Do you have any idea why my car is humming?”
He replied, “Probably because it doesn’t know all the lyrics.”
My wife asked me to put ketchup and mustard on the grocery list.
Now I can't even read the thing!
Years ago, I translated a book on pre Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
The rather oppressive female mechanic was trying to sell me 5 new manual transmissions
Luckily, I managed to escape her clutches.
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye
The doctors called it eyeLEDs
What do mechanical engineers gift their loved ones?
Mechanic: You should give your car a spoiler to improve its handling.
Me: Iron Man dies at the end.
The scoutmaster and the mechanic (probably heard before) What did the mechanic say to the scoutmaster when he fixed the horn on his car?
My mechanic said there was nothing wrong with my...
The mechanic told me that he fixed the elevator
Went for a job interview and I was put on the short list.
I’m 6ft 2” how big are the others?
How do you call a group of mechanics?
Carmen. I'll show myself out.
My dog peed on my list of favorite businesses in the city
Now what’s left is Yellow Pages
What do you call a Turkish car mechanic?
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
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