You know what would be funny? A large group of people protesting, getting into fights with police and destroying property.

It would be a riot!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flumanchu
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
After a long, vicious territorial battle a large family of bitten, scratched wolves all sought shelter from the snow in a tiny cave, leaving barely an inch of space.

A pair of vets who care for the wolves find them and try to get in to administer care and clean their wounds.

One says β€œI can’t go in there.”

β€œWhy not?”

β€œThe place is bloody packed.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkinnyWhiteGirl19
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I love swimming in a large pool of orange liquid

It’s my fanta-sea

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/profusly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm very proud of my family for owning such a musical property.

We live in A flat.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tombo_youtube
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a large variety of wonderful fans…

In my fan collection.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicWinterWolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
A list of puns I made about a friend named Ann.

ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DevotionInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the most annoying part of a party with a large bowl of shared drink mix?

The punchline

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowjoggs
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
There once was a large group of people that were fascinated by statistics.

The group ended when they proved to be too mean.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog peed on my list of favorite businesses in the city

Now what’s left is Yellow Pages

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrabApprehensive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the destruction of a large acres of land?

A massacre

[I came up with this :,) ]

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zzuhruf
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
When I married my wife, I made a list of all the chores I knew how to do to help out in the house.

It was the list I could do

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend told me he's going to try to get a large group of wolves to separate from each other.

There's a lot to unpack there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Hope a large fraction of y'all have a sense of humour
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simwalkedaway
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a large group of aliens?

b-liens.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theosimpact
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I was excited to get a large can of fine meat from Amazon.

But it turned out to be spam.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I was walking out of the store when I was approached by a crazed man who threw a short but large nail into the air.

He seemed non-aggressive at first, but he’s quite angry now and it appears I’m under a tack.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jesusofbullets
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.

Sir Veyor

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bombsaway1083
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to describe me in a few words

She said:

I'm mature

I'm moral

I'm polite

And, by and large, I'm perfect

Don't know why she then accused me of having "a fundamental incapability to understand the proper use of apostrophes and spacing" though....

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OpthomacePrime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Person in front of me ordering coffee asked "can I have a large house?"

And I said "not without a large mortgage"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dad_2_the_bone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
COVID numbers are largely based off of two factors
  1. How dense the population is
  2. How dense the population is
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a large number of bread rolls moving rhythmically to music.

They were doing it in a-bun-dance.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I fell into a large vat of curry....

Was in a korma for a month.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, β€œArrr! That was a costly mistake...”

β€œWe lost a lot of doubloons.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of fermented milk product do large scary monsters eat?

Ogret

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NPVT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Said in a field full of large mushrooms

"There's humungous fungus amongus!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...

it was a lot of new deli cases

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtaldad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard a large oil company is making fuel out of bug urine...

I think it’s BP.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.

But No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDragonIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
People ask why I have a collection of large scissors.

I tell them it is for the shear fun of it

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GUNGUNM4N
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I pulled over a truck going 80 miles an hour in a 55 zone. He had a cargo of axe-like tools used for shaping large pieces of wood.

He was hauling adze!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?

Where there’s a will, there’s a whey.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadowlast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I got caught coming through customs with a large sculpture of Beethoven’s head

The customs officer said it was their biggest bust ever!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
One of the founders of a large company called Aloecorp, Inc. recently got divorced

His wife is seeking aloemoney

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently gave a large sum of money to a corn farmer

It was a major stalk investment

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tim_the_Tool_Man
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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