I was talking with another writer recently about red flags that are a sign of a challenging client. I thought I'd write it up just for fun. I'm also curious to hear if other folks here have similar experiences.
For context, I write mostly in the tech/IT niche, and I usually work directly with tech companies, rather than through agencies. I have also been doing this for a long time, and have the luxury of being able to turn down clients regularly if they are not a good fit. In my earlier years I had to deal with some obnoxious clients as I built up my business.
Anyway, the red flags...
- They don't know where they are going to publish what you write.
This is a sign they have not really thought about content strategy. They probably just read some marketing blogs about content marketing and decided they need content, but they have no idea how to put that content work. When your blogs don't bring them 100,000 page views a month, they will be disappointed and blame you.
- Their founder/CEO or other high-level execute will be involved in content planning and review.
Except at very small companies, CEOs and similar shouldn't be a part of content. If they are, it's a sign that you're dealing with a micromanaging culture.
- They nickle and dime you over rates.
If you say you charge $400 for an article and they ask if you can do it for $375, they're nitpicking over price. They will probably also nitpick everything you write.
That said, I think it's OK if you propose $400, they say they've budgeted $300 and they ask if they can meet you at $350. That's not unreasonable. It's the clients who argue over a few percentage points' worth of price that tend to be hard to work with.
- They don't know what volume of content they want, or they say they'll take it week by week/month by month.
This is another sign that they don't really have a content strategy. It could also mean they don't have solid budgeting behind their content plan.
- They have no idea which topics they want to write about.
It's not unusual for me to help clients curate specific topics. But if they have no idea which general topical areas they want to focus on -- or if they propose super generic ones, like "cloud computing" -- they probably have no content strategy.
- They want you to write mostly or exclusively about their product.
My experience has always been that no matter how much I get to know someone else's product, I will never know it as well as they will. Nor will I use it in
... keep reading on reddit ➡
As requested by u/throoowwitalllawaaay
I made a general list of red flags in women. Every situation is different. Not every red flag necessarily means the relationship is doomed, sometimes you need to just work around it. This isn't an all inclusive list, and can usually work for both genders, but I was requested to make one specifically for women.
If she isn't responding/engaging in conversation - She's most likely not interested, and if she is, is it really worth it? If a girl wants to talk to you, she WILL. Nobody waits days to answer someone they're genuinely interested in.
If she's obsessed with you - This might seem great at first, but can turn south quick. Codependency is not healthy, and can create a foundation for control, manipulation, and abuse later on. It's better to have a life outside of your relationship, rather than let your life revolve around it.
Always expects you to pay/bad with money - This might not be an issue right away, but can come back to bite you in the ass in the long run. How can you build a future if your partner can't stop spending? How do you feel about being the breadwinner? Why should it be your responsibility to pay for everything?
My exes are psycho - This one take with a grain of salt, because sometimes people legitimately just have bad luck dating and reading people. But in a lot of situations there's one common denominator and a reason their relationships ended badly. So stay on your toes.
She slaps/hits you if she's upset - Physical violence is NEVER okay in a relationship, man or woman. If your date/SO hurts you in some way, run. If they do it once, it's likely it will happen again, and could be much worse. Not to be confused with play fighting or BDSM in the bedroom, which if consented to by both parties, is okay.
She makes her mental health your problem - A lot of people legitimately have mental health issues, but it is not okay to make them someone else's responsibility. You shouldn't have to tiptoe around them all of the time. If they can't handle their emotions on a day to day basis, they have no business being in a relationship. If they ever ever ever say "if you leave me, I'll kill myself", run like the wind. Contact police, family, whoever you need to, to get them the help they need. But that's the end of your responsibility. That is nothing but an abuse/control tactic and is never okay.
Showers you with gifts and affection, but uses it against you -
... keep reading on reddit ➡Red flags
- Evades questions
- Offers things against what I know to be true
Green flags
- Offers in person assessment
- Mentions health concerns
- Shows concern for neighbors
- Practical insights about dealing with landlords
- Tells you how to prep for extermination (Vacuum,Steam,Bag stuff)
- Tells you what to do after treatment
- Names the chemicals that will be used
- Understand a timely Follow up is necessary to attack lifecycle
- Licensed
- Answers questions
Question: is it OK for the insecticide to be sprayed on your mattress? My guy wants to speak citromin on it and told me I cannot let my bare skin touch that mattress ever again
- I don’t have a good memory of the relationship. Idk if it was bc it was so on and off but I don’t remember most of the fights. I only remember that it ended with it being my fault.
- he road raged. He would say that these people need to be “put in place” and he stated all women/Asians can’t drive. He was so rude and cut off a poor old man one time
- he looked down on my job (nurse) and never really celebrated when I finished school and got a job at a LTC and then transitioned to hospital.
- when I would offer to help with his school. he looked down at my education. Saying I just “went to college and it was easier then uni) (which he still didn’t finish yet). I’m now earning well/ independent and getting ready to finish the the other half of my school in September.
- he never had the ability to self reflect. It was never his fault on anything. He rarely said sorry and if he did it was “ I’m sorry you feel that way” 6)he told me that there was something wrong with the back of my brain and it needed to be fixed.
- he would tell me he’s “busy” but had time to hang out with friends and family, but as soon as it came to and our relationship he didn’t have time
- he said something really hurtful once at a store and I cried. When I told him that he did say it, he said that “you made yourself cry” refusing to accept it
- never really celebrated my birthdays and achievements
- every time I was upset mad or any negative human emotions he made it seem like it was a personal insult to his well being and would do everything to ignore me in that state
- when I offered to help him find a part time job for when he was in school he didn’t want to do any minimum wage job and looked down on all the jobs and the people who would do it. (Having a job is better then having no job)
- he stopped putting in effort in the relationship like doing surprises and planning dates.
- He was always late. Not 10-15 mins, 45-1h showed you he doesn’t care
- Made you feel bad when you used to sing and have fun in the car telling you to shut up so he can “listen” to the music instead
- he started to be more guarded with his phone
- “jokingly” told you he would “fuck” one of his girl friends
- “jokingly” sent pics of the girls I was following wanting to add them and talk to them
- he always called you liar making you question your own feeling and self worth.
- all he cared about was his “answers” and not how you felt.
- anything he would say was rig
When I look back on the abuse I endured during the relationship, I see a lot of the red flags more clearly now. I thought it could be a good idea to list red flags we’ve experienced to maybe alert others who are suffering without realizing now.
I often see in this thread we have lost our intuition and gut instincts. I have been working to gain mine back. Knowing red flags early on can be beneficial for toxic friendships, relationships, and familial relationships.
- “You’d be perfect, if only you lost a little bit more weight in your thighs.”
- When I found a picture of a random girl on his desk and was told “she’s a friend from high school.” Later found out, he was in a separate relationship AT THE SAME TIME as ours.
- When I came over one night to stay the night and I wanted to cuddle. He screamed at me and sent me into a panic attack. I grabbed whatever I could of mine and left one of my shoes there.
- Invited me over to eat and cooked one serving for himself. Told me I should have brought something because he wasn’t cooking for me.
- Coming over to my house after the first time I caught him cheating and he threatened to kill himself with his handgun.
The list goes on and on… 🚩
Edit more to add -
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Being strangled during sex to the point of passing out and when I was trying to fight for my breath, he didn’t stop his hold.
-
Him asking/forcing sex multiple times a day because I said no.
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Waking up in the middle of the night with him using my own hand to touch himself.
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Having suicidal thoughts when I was at his home. I locked myself in the bathroom because I was too much of a wreck to drive home after he screamed at me. Told me “to hurry up and kill myself so that he could leave for his friend’s house.”
I think it’s worth adding, things definitely didn’t start out this bad. The first phase of the cycle is a bitch.
- r/badflags
- r/BadNepaliFlags
- r/centristvexillology
- r/CursedVexillology
- r/eyehurtingflags
- r/Flag_Redesigns
- r/FlagExchange
- r/Flaggyflag
- r/flags_irl
- r/flagsinreallife
- r/flagsofdixie
- r/leftistvexillology
- r/leftistvexillologycj
- r/leftvexillologists
- r/leftvexillology
- r/monarchistvexillology
- r/mspaintflags
- r/nightmarevexillology
- r/Personalflags
- r/queersomnivexilology
- r/QueerVexillology
- r/rightistvexillology
- r/somnivexillology
- r/Vexillmaps
- r/vexillogy
- r/vexillology
- r/vexillologycirclejerk
- r/VexillologyCringe
- r/VexillologyGore
- r/VexillologyHumor
- r/vexillologyrequests
- r/vexilollogy
- r/vexilology
- r/vexilologycirclejerk/
- r/vexoligy
- r/Vexology
I have learned: 1) Vexillology is hard to spell, 2) Y'all are a bunch of effing splitters.
I recently got out of a relationship with a guy roughly 7 years older than me; it lasted 1½ years. Looking back on how it all started, I can say with utmost confidence that I will never let a man treat me like that again. I was in love and it made me stupid (also I don't have a lot of dating experience), but I have learned - late, yes, but never too late. I wanted to share the things with you that in hindsight look like red flags on top of a red lighthouse with speakers blaring the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
So here's 20 sweet flaggos^TM
○ Not like other girls - what a classic. He constantly said I was great for being "special" (in comparison to other girls) and "not living in the matrix". Thanks M'lord
○ He told me he liked me and 10 minutes into lying on the sofa together asked me "what would happen" if he put his hands down my pants. At least he asked, I guess. Still a big NOPE.
○ He told me on day 1 that one of his no-goes was me "getting fat" as I lay on top of him, trying not to put my full weight on him - to me, a self-conscious person who wasn't super thin but curvy and absolutely healthy. ((Guess who spent the next half year getting madly into dieting out of fear of losing him? Oof, cringe me))
○ It's about a week into our relationship and he says "you'll give me deep throats, right?" I go "...mm no?" and he looks incredulous and says "uh, yes!". Gross
○ He openly told me he doesn't like vaginas. That in fact he's grossed out by them. Like, ok Kyle? I really can't help that I have one of those, so why would you tell me that? What purpose does it serve?
○ He couldn't "feel anything" when putting it where it's supposed to go... I had not slept with a guy in over three years at that point, it hurt when he put it in and I definitely felt it. But he had probably deathgripped his dick so bad that a vagina simply didn't do the trick for him anymore. (He actually admitted to something along those lines when it became clear that his porn habits had resulted in a kind of erectile dysfunction).
○ He told me he was grossed out by periods. Big surprise. Fine, ma dude, you don't have to celebrate it, I certainly don't - but it's part of me so maybe don't say it's gross?
○ He was very reluctant to meet my parents, even a year in. And I mean VERY reluctant. This 30something man, a dude who is perfectly fine conversing with folks, no social anxiet
... keep reading on reddit ➡
- r/badflags
- r/BadNepaliFlags
- r/centristvexillology
- r/CursedVexillology
- r/eyehurtingflags
- r/Flag_Redesigns
- r/FlagExchange
- r/Flaggyflag
- r/flags_irl
- r/flagsinreallife
- r/flagsofdixie
- r/leftistvexillology
- r/leftistvexillologycj
- r/leftvexillologists
- r/leftvexillology
- r/monarchistvexillology
- r/mspaintflags
- r/nightmarevexillology
- r/Personalflags
- r/queersomnivexilology
- r/QueerVexillology
- r/rightistvexillology
- r/somnivexillology
- r/Vexillmaps
- r/vexillogy
- r/vexillology
- r/vexillologycirclejerk
- r/VexillologyCringe
- r/VexillologyGore
- r/VexillologyHumor
- r/vexillologyrequests
- r/vexilollogy
- r/vexilology
- r/vexilologycirclejerk/
- r/vexoligy
- r/Vexology
I have learned: 1) Vexillology is hard to spell, 2) Y'all are a bunch of effing splitters.
- r/badflags
- r/BadNepaliFlags
- r/centristvexillology
- r/CursedVexillology
- r/eyehurtingflags
- r/Flag_Redesigns
- r/FlagExchange
- r/Flaggyflag
- r/flags_irl
- r/flagsinreallife
- r/flagsofdixie
- r/leftistvexillology
- r/leftistvexillologycj
- r/leftvexillologists
- r/leftvexillology
- r/monarchistvexillology
- r/mspaintflags
- r/nightmarevexillology
- r/Personalflags
- r/queersomnivexilology
- r/QueerVexillology
- r/rightistvexillology
- r/somnivexillology
- r/Vexillmaps
- r/vexillogy
- r/vexillology
- r/vexillologycirclejerk
- r/VexillologyCringe
- r/VexillologyGore
- r/VexillologyHumor
- r/vexillologyrequests
- r/vexilollogy
- r/vexilology
- r/vexilologycirclejerk/
- r/vexoligy
- r/Vexology
I have learned: 1) Vexillology is hard to spell, 2) Y'all are a bunch of effing splitters.
- r/badflags
- r/BadNepaliFlags
- r/centristvexillology
- r/CursedVexillology
- r/eyehurtingflags
- r/Flag_Redesigns
- r/FlagExchange
- r/Flaggyflag
- r/flags_irl
- r/flagsinreallife
- r/flagsofdixie
- r/leftistvexillology
- r/leftistvexillologycj
- r/leftvexillologists
- r/leftvexillology
- r/monarchistvexillology
- r/mspaintflags
- r/nightmarevexillology
- r/Personalflags
- r/queersomnivexilology
- r/QueerVexillology
- r/rightistvexillology
- r/somnivexillology
- r/Vexillmaps
- r/vexillogy
- r/vexillology
- r/vexillologycirclejerk
- r/VexillologyCringe
- r/VexillologyGore
- r/VexillologyHumor
- r/vexillologyrequests
- r/vexilollogy
- r/vexilology
- r/vexilologycirclejerk/
- r/vexoligy
- r/Vexology
I have learned: 1) Vexillology is hard to spell, 2) Y'all are a bunch of effing splitters.
- r/badflags
- r/BadNepaliFlags
- r/centristvexillology
- r/CursedVexillology
- r/eyehurtingflags
- r/Flag_Redesigns
- r/FlagExchange
- r/Flaggyflag
- r/flags_irl
- r/flagsinreallife
- r/flagsofdixie
- r/leftistvexillology
- r/leftistvexillologycj
- r/leftvexillologists
- r/leftvexillology
- r/monarchistvexillology
- r/mspaintflags
- r/nightmarevexillology
- r/Personalflags
- r/queersomnivexilology
- r/QueerVexillology
- r/rightistvexillology
- r/somnivexillology
- r/Vexillmaps
- r/vexillogy
- r/vexillology
- r/vexillologycirclejerk
- r/VexillologyCringe
- r/VexillologyGore
- r/VexillologyHumor
- r/vexillologyrequests
- r/vexilollogy
- r/vexilology
- r/vexilologycirclejerk/
- r/vexoligy
- r/Vexology
I have learned: 1) Vexillology is hard to spell, 2) Y'all are a bunch of effing splitters.
