I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language.

I guarantee you that nobody has ever heard them.

πŸ‘︎ 242
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Audacioustrash
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I speak two languages but am starting to lose vocabulary in one of them

You could say I’m byelingual.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I had to write a 500 word essay on a language of India back in high school...

I titled it The Hindi 500.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A list of puns I made about a friend named Ann.

ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevotionInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
As English my second language, pretty proud of this one.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mamado21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the barrel of petroleum always using foul language?
  • a) Because it was crude oil
  • b) Because it wasn't refined
  • c) Because it was a real gas
  • d) Because it wasn't reserved
  • e) Because it liked to say, "What the shale?" f) Because it was kerobsene
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog peed on my list of favorite businesses in the city

Now what’s left is Yellow Pages

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrabApprehensive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
When I married my wife, I made a list of all the chores I knew how to do to help out in the house.

It was the list I could do

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?

All of them.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.

This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyCamoCat738
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What language do impersonators of the King of Rock n' Roll sing in?

Elvish

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Most people told me learning sign language was a waste of time

But I find it to be a pretty handy skill

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ham-cum-rewritten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
One of my favourite words in the English language is β€œfrequently”.

I try to use it as often as possible.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.

But No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDragonIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m the kind of guy that would yell β€œLanguage” whenever anyone curses. My friend yelled out the F-bomb. I said β€œLanguage.” She then flipped me off.

SIGN LANGUAGE

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RolandoDR98
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
So what if I'm not part of a culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Greenland, Canada and Alaska that speaks a language that is part of the Eskimo–Aleut family.

I could try harder to be, but I guess I'm just not Inuit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shumumazzu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Nickname Puns

Ok so, I've been looking high and low for a list of punny- wordplay like nicknames. All I can find are

Jakey-Snakey

Andrew-my-mandrew

or names that just have '-enator' added to them?

If anyone has some fun nicknames please share!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bibbleisthebest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried to learn the language of the people from Finland..

But I couldn't Finnish a sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shooception
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I came across a list of ingredients to make plastic explosives.

I thought to myself, "Boy this looks like a real recipe for disaster!"

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I've learned 99% of the English language.

I'm almost their.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The sign language post got out of hand
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManGood2002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A Chinese chef in Milan creating a pun of a Japanese food... Puns are truly the Universal language!
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
So I made this list of people ranked by their interest in paper based drawing boards.

I call it the flip charts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrowningStructure
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Literally just happened: Wife completing our 2020 census reading off list of ethnicities. β€œWait... what is... Chamorro?”

Me: β€œChamorro? It’s Chursday.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickfree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What language do they speak at the center of the earth

Core-ean

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JAEAerbest
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a handful of jokes in sign language.

I guarantee no one has ever heard them!

πŸ‘︎ 377
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superpie5
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?

All of them.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language

And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.

πŸ‘︎ 273
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a lot of jokes in sign language...

And I can guarantee that no one has ever heard them.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xgizmobratx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language

And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you speak two languages and start losing vocabulary in both of them?

Byelingual

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the favorite computer language of pirates?

R

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When you speak two languages and start losing vocabulary in both of them: BYELINGUAL.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eeyoretracy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve learned 99% of the English language.

I’m almost their!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guitarman1103
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A List of My Favorite Dad Jokes
  1. My
  2. Favorite
  3. Dad
  4. Jokes
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasAllenSimms
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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