One of the most underrated animated films ever
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punnettome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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What do you call 1000kg of Chinese soup?

Wonton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_3bi_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

Riceless

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Met a Chinese talking goose today, I asked him from what part of China he was from.

Honk Kong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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How is the British child of an Australian bear and a Antarctic sea animal like a Tupperware?

They're both koala-tea-seals!

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πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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Ok this needs a bit of context: 猫 is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EthanoicAcid2203
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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I was peacefully eating my Chinese soup, until a guy came out of nowhere and flipped the bowl, spilling my soup everywhere and ruining my meal.

This was an act of wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePainTra1n96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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What's the full name of somebody who loves Japanese animation?

Annie Mae.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilsoca
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....

.....the mammothematician.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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I had to throw an entire box of animal crackers away.

The seal was broken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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I ordered some General Tso chicken from my favorite Chinese Restaurant but they were all out of MSG...

It was just Tso Tso.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THIATUS-RIFT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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My friend got a role as an extra in a film. His job was to approach the lead actor and comb her hair away from the middle of her head...

It was a bit part.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Though I did find the color palate of this particular film rather surprising
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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What type of film goes well with pizza?

Cheesy ones

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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New Pirates of the Caribbean film!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xenophilius93
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Did you hear about Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend breaking into an animal shelter and releasing a bunch of huskies into the wild??

Turns out it was The Who that let the dogs out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No-Dane-No-Gain
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sevohanian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?

Elongate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatyougoon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What vessels sail the waters of the Chinese internet?

Censorships.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brixenaru
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.

wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SocialPerformer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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The Captain of our flight called the cops when he saw a film crew

He heard they were there to shoot a pilot

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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When I was in florida I saw signs saying "animal sanctuary 5$." so I decided to follow them but when I got there it was just a middle aged couple with hundreds of house cats and one dog in a cage.

It was a Shih Tzu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HairyClefairy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Disney's making an animated Blaxploitation film about Eastern philosophy.

They're calling it 'FroZen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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A critically-acclaimed and culturally significant Chinese ballet/film about pressure cooking a small member of the family Myctophidae?

Braise the Red Lanternfish

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2013
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How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?

State-of-the-Ark technology

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Chinese are building all sorts of new educational camps with invigorating physical exercise for Uigher citizens.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/urlordcov
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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My grandson got a cookie from a Chinese restaurant with no piece of paper in it

I told him it was very unfortunate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealBobbyC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I went to an exotic petting zoo with Boy George. He wasn't at all impressed with their limited range of animals.

He started pointing them out to me.

"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."

++++++++++++++++++

I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.

I like it. I'm proud of myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Who is the God of Chinese food?

MSG-sus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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The puns at this Chinese place are out of control
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puppylove1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Who always gets blamed for letting the farm animals out of their pens?

The escapegoat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cd1cj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Whats the name of a crime series filmed on a sunny japanese island?

Kawaii five-o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcarrot9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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I watched a film about a goverment loan. There was a lot of action.

It was a bond movie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hornyonion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Which animal runs all day and smells of pork?

A hamster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyNetF1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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