I created a punny discord

So I wanted to learn puns, but I didn't find any good discord server where you could meat with people and practice or learn new puns, so I decided to create such a server where we can all hopefully learn how to pun. If you would like to join here's a link: https://discord.gg/hVBqM7hn9r

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neimit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Completely Innapropriate Dad Joke Guy (A Sketch)

Not sure if links to videos are allowed here but I made a sketch that’s on topic so I hope you enjoy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhysHalliwell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...

So there were 6 of us...

With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)

There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".

Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"

The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.

Best day of my comedic life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Why is christmas time the best time to make an online dad-joke filled advent calendar?

Because it's the most punderful time of the year!

Link to calendar for those who want it: https://pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_AdventCalendar2020pdf.pdf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leron4551
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I knew a guy who collected watches

He would link them all together into a sort of belt β€” I thought it was a waist of time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetavator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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The Legend of Zelda is a chain

It's made of Links

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uezyteue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Who is Anakin Skywalker's main in Smash Bros?

Ganondorf, because they both enjoy "killing young links".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nitro4450
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What do you call a hidden Legend of Zelda character?

A Missing Link

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeKrispyKreme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight...

Unless you’re prepared to deal with the Reaper cushions.

stolen from r/jokes. Credit to u/shopcounterwill. I don’t know how to link or tag stuff on Reddit

Edit: apparently I do. Haha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmorris82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My 8yr old nephew got his first "grownup" email address....

My sister wanted to make sure he is checking his emails and being responsible....so I send him daily jokes. Not sure if this link works, but if this cool kiddo burrito finds this someday...your emails back are the highlight of my days. http://imgur.com/a/llxi1lO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinyfistofjustice
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Don't click on any suspicious links
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aqeel01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Chain link

I found a random piece of chain on the dog walk today and, when I got back I found another...I dont think the two are linked!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clairehannah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacca7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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Why do my university lecture theatres have all this blank artwork on the walls?

Link.

It's baffling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ktisis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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Why can't Ganondorf surf the web?

Cause there's too many Links

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Averet101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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The kids are getting Nintendo Switches this year..

Since you can't post pics here for some reason (doesn't say anything about it in the rules as far as I can tell) here is a link.

https://imgur.com/gallery/SNde2aX

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OHMEGA
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Who's the main character in the legend of Zelda?

[Link] (https://www.google.com/search?q=image+of+the+word+gottem&oq=image+of+the+word+gottem&aqs=chrome..69i57j33l3.5289j0j9&client=ms-android-htc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=_qE-mtWpN0cj1M)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neoraydm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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President Obama's 2016 Turkey-Pardon Dad Jokes: The Definitive List

[from NPR-- this sub doesn't allow link posts]

The annual turkey pardon is a silly tradition, and President Obama knows it. On Wednesday, before pardoning turkeys named Tater and Tot, Obama summed up his feelings about this particular duty.

"It is my great privilege β€” well, it's my privilege β€” actually, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon," Obama said.

Not in attendance for the president's final turkey pardoning ceremony were first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, who gamely laughed alongside their father last year. So instead, the president's nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson stood by for what Obama called his "corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

And thus began a pun-fest for the ages. Here's a list of President Obama's groaners from this year's pardoning ceremony:

"Actually [Sasha and Malia] just couldn't take my jokes anymore. They were fed up."

"What I haven't told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

"Tater is here in a backup role just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. So he's sort of like the vice turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses."

"I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky. Who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom. Who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

[After touting positive economic indicators and the low uninsured rate] "That's worth gobbling about."

"We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed."

"When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all of the side dishes, you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: 'Yes, we cran.' "

"Look, I know there are some bad ones in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving any room for leftovers."

"And now from the Rose Garden, Tater and Tot will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is admittedly a bit hokey." (The Hokies are the Virginia Tech mascot.)

"And so let's get on with the pardoning. Because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood."

[from NPR -- http://www.npr.org/2016/11/23/503178220/president-obamas-2016-turkey-pardon-dad-jokes-the-definitive-list?utm_source=facebook.com

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/see2keroppi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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My Dad's Response to Giuliani's Butt Dial

I texted my Dad a link to the initial headline. His response is in the link below.

http://imgur.com/gallery/cAM4mhO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidSnake13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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I once met a guy who didn’t like getting coins back from transactions.

I guess he has a cent sensitivity.

FYI: I thought of this joke last night at work, so to me it’s OC but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else thought of it before me. Either way I figured I’d share it, if someone posted it before me feel free to link it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vipertho
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Guy annoys girlfriend with puns at Ikea
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GabuTheBunny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
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So this might have been posted before but...

A boy was in love with a girl. Madly in love. He told his older brother, who suggested he ask her to the upcoming prom. So, that night, he went to her house with some flowers and chocolates and asked the girl to the prom.

She was overjoyed. She took the flowers and hugged him around the neck. When he went home, his brother told him he had to get ready. Prom was in only a week!

The next day, he traveled to a suit store. He picked out the perfect one. It would go perfectly with his date’s dress. He picked his up and went to check out. Unfortunately, it seems a lot of people were buying suits, as the line nearly went out of the store. He groaned, but anything for his love. After two long hours, he finally got his suit.

A couple days later, his brother suggested that he rent a limo. He and his brother went to rent one that evening. When they arrived, they discovered that there were nearly 50 people waiting to rent a vehicle. They waited for nearly three hours, but they were finally able to rent a limo for the big day.

The afternoon before the dance, he went to buy some flowers for his date. Unfortunately, the store seemed to be having a sale, and the checkout lines extended into the parking lot. He stomped his foot. β€œWhy is it that every time I go to buy something, everyone else wants to buy it too?!” He begrudgingly waited for nearly four hour before walking out with a bouquet of roses.

That night, he rode in the limo to his date’s house. She got in, and they talked the entire trip. He presented her with the flowers, which she adored. Her dress was stunning, and went perfectly with his suit.

They arrived at the school and got out, arms linked. They walked inside, said hi to a couple of friends, and began dancing and enjoying the night.

About halfway through the dance, the boy was parched. He told his girl that he was going to get a drink. He walked over to the snack table and discovered that there was no punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohihatethesepants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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Did you hear about the chain of terrorist attacks committed by angry bankers?

Police thought the attacks were linked but later found that they were a bunch of loan wolves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nick30075
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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My Waitress Tonight Told I Had To Post This

Scene: Dinner for my mom's birthday at a very nice (expensive) restaurant.

Waitress: Your steak comes with a choice of the vegetable of the day or a twice baked potato.

Me: Are twice baked potatoes and refried beans prepared similar ways or is that just a naming coincidence?

W: Laughing Oh my God. Our bartender and I were just talking about funny "dad jokes" on reddit! I didn't expect to hear one in person. Do you use reddit?

M: Umm... Yeah... I actually follow r/dadjokes but I'm not a dad and

W: You should post that joke there!

I have no idea if she will see this but my wife said I had to let everyone know about a redditor interaction. I hope she does because the food was awesome and she was a fantastic waitress beyond being a fellow redditor.

I still have no idea if twice baked potatoes and refried beans have any link...

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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A daily pun thread

I propose we start a daily competition.

Each day the winner of the pervious days thread provides the word for the day.

Then you lovely lot will go off into reddit and try make the best pun around that word/phrase you can, and link your best result in that days thread. The comment with the most up votes wins for the day. Only one pun per account per day.

Ill start with a relatively easy one: Pun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/biddlyboing
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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[META] Is this the ultimate dad joke?

A while ago, my daughter told me she was into fan fiction. I told her I used to be as well, but I changed to air conditioner fiction... because it was cooler.

She was not amused.

I have now created a subreddit called r/AirConditionerFiction

If you have the time and the desire, drop by and leave a short work of fiction regarding air conditioning. If this is successful, I will give my daughter a link and wait to see her facial expression. I will also prepare for being put in a less-then-stellar retirement home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/welded_angus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2016
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I found a Zelda fanfic where Ganondorf took over but I couldn't click on it

I guess the Link was dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarmon21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
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What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?

The antichimera mechanism.

(I don't know how obscure this is, but if it doesn't make sense click this link)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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I'm amazed Reddit

There are now over a million subs for this silly, corny, beautiful feed of dad jokes.

Link to PROOF: http://imgur.com/ksprvA1

A million subs is a big number.

If we put a million subs end to end, we'd be able to reach a very small part of the way around the Earth... Double that if they were foot long subs, and we'd make it all the way around and more if they were the kind of subs that go under water.

That's why I'm amazed.

Well done everyone on being amazing dads with amazing dad jokes. No matter what kind of dad you are - inside or outside expected dad norms - keep the world laughing and shaking their head.

(I'll keep this stickied for a short period of communal celebration and then go back to the shadows as normal. Keep doing you, dads.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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My uncle is an OG dad, schooling us all

Blatantly stolen from my Uncles Facebook page (link in comments):

Uncle: I'm proud of myself. Instead of goofing off this summer, I chose to go back to school and better myself. I enrolled in a course and have spent the past few weeks in intense study, finally passing the final exam today with a score of 100% - a score that I'm pretty sure they don't see too often. It's not often that I toot my own horn, but this time I think I really deserve it. Thank you to everyone who helped me achieve my goal!

Friend: Congratulations! What subject?

Uncle: It was Traffic School. Speeding ticket. The system wanted me to fail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlphaSquad1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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So I tried dad-joking /r/politics...

They were not amused. (Link)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ragnarocka
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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How is the internet like a new golf course?

Unimpressive until you hit the links

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnEBGoode20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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I wrote a great pun on r/Jokes about The Legend of Zelda

I forgot the link.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniteBro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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I made a post earlier asking when a dad joke becomes a dad joke. The answer was β€œWhen it has a child.”

Link to post

But really, the truth is that it’s all in the delivery.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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Read a joke about recursion that was so bad I had to post it here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/osm0sis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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At my job as a paleontologist, I was searching for the thigh bone of a Neanderthal.

I thought I had found it, but it was a fossil arm. Then upon searching the site further, I found a petrified sausage. It was the missing link.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Don't be sad, because sad backwards is das...

And das not good.

All credit for this joke goes to /u/Xiphers's Mom. I tried cross posting it here to give full credit to OP, but this sub only allows text posts. Here's the original post: https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/bxeoqo/my_mom_has_a_board_with_attachable_letters_and/?ref=share&ref_source=link

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RemarkableRyan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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Did you know that one of the presidents actually found his job online?

Abraham LinkedIn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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If a time traveller from the future carried some sausages with him as he travels,

Does he have a link to the past?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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To wife: Of course she knows it's a new year, she wasn't born yesterday!

Daughter was born at 8:08am yesterday. 7lbs, 1oz, 20" long. Dad, Mom and baby are doing great! Image

Edit - link formatting
Edit - My wife thinks the pic makes it look like she gave birth to Mother Teresa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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The waybackmachine page

Can also be called a link to the past

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spacier_soda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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A cliffhanger
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PBandJthyme
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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What do you call it when a group of business executives start a band?

Linked’in park

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotVeryPolitical
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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I hate crappy golf courses with too many trees.

I go to great links to avoid them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/entropolous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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