Drawing a line
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πŸ‘€︎ u/layover_guy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2016
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Why does North Korea excel at drawing straight lines?

Because they got a supreme ruler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agtledevyday
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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My gf asked me to stop attending Line Drawing classes.

I usually listen to her advice but that's where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgurav
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didn’t draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously

.....and that’s when I drew the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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This is where I draw the line reddit.com/r/Decreasingly…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FQVBSina
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Artist are some of the safest people, they know where to draw the line.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSeveredSaintx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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I'm OK with cigarettes, alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Making puns about cocaine is where I draw the line.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nocturnal_shit
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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I often get asked how I manage to draw such prefect lines

I say it's quite straight forward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snurze
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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With the remake of The Lion King coming out, where do you draw the line between CGI and animation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjohny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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Why do North Koreans draw lines so well? (x-post with r/jokes) reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Tamino
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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Wife: "No. That's where I draw the line."

Wife says she's going to go finish cutting the grass (I am still recovering from shoulder surgery) and I told her "don't forget outside the fence."

To which she responded "nope. That's where I draw the line...."

So, of course, I responded "oh yeah? Well do ya know where I draw the line??"

"Hmm..."

"On paper!"

At which point she rolled her eyes and walked out to the garage...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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As a globe restorer, I never turn down projects where I have to fill in missing countries or islands. But missing equators?

That’s when I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I absolutely hate crossing t's

Dotting i's is okay since it's just a dot, but t's are where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshjodalton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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For math lovers and others to
  1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

  2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

  3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

  4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

  5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

  6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

  7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

  8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

  9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

  11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

  12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

  13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

  14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

  16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

  17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

  18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

  19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

  20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

  21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Recent posts have not been to my liking. We need to draw the line now.

https://imgur.com/a/ckK00

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mahir_r
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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During my first month on the road paving crew, they always gave me all the worst jobs. I endured all of it, up until they put me on paint duty...

...that's where I finally had to draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!

Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TMCBarnes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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I have mixed feelings about graphs.

The x and y axes are pretty cool but not the plot itself. That’s where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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Doing a bathroom remodel

So my wife and I went to the tile store. I told her I don’t mind picking out tile but having to choose grout colors is where I draw the line...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ted_Ruxpin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Even though 3D games are common, sometimes I like to play 2D games still. But never 1D games.

That's where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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My cocaine addiction is getting out of hand

It's time to draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/otoglomba
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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I see your point when it comes to dotting your i’s...

But crossing your t’s is where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Me: I love going to art school! My wife: you can’t go any more!

Me : but that’s where I draw the line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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I'll do algebra, I'll put up with calculus,

But graphing is where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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Geometry

I really don't understand geomety, plane and simple! It feels like I just keep going in circles so I don't get the point! Even if for some people it shapes their life, this is where I draw the line!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roxan1930
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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When it comes to learning Geometry, I am ok with triangles, squares, and rectangles.

But when it comes to two unconnected vertices, that’s where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I can tolerate the math class, or even the history class

...but the art class is where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fixdoll_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Whiteboards are remarkable.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDalek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2013
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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A friend challenged me to a pun-athon, but being an artist, he was into pictoral puns.

Some of them were pretty strange: only he could understand them and explaining the 'pun' to somebody else would take like half an hour. Anyway-

He said, "So I'll go first?"

I said sure.

I think he took "pun-a-thon" a bit too literally - he took out a marker and drew a point, and then he kept drawing this straight line (he's good at drawing straight lines) while taking how many ever steps back. I for one was concerned, because first off I didn't know how long I'd have to stick around for this, and second of all, I didn't know if I could clean the mess he'd inevitably leave behind.

He kept drawing this line! We stepped out of my living room, then my apartment which was on ground-level, and he kept drawing it. He drew his line all the way through the corridor, up until the entrance to the building, and when I kept asking him if he's done yet, he didn't say a word. I had to keep subtly reassuring security and everyone who was staring at my friend hunched over like that robot from Wall-E.

He stepped out of the building and kept on drawing his line. At this point I was trying to guess what the hell is the outcome. I kept screaming punchlines at him like "is this where you draw the line?", "are you going to punch me after this so this is a punchline?" and shit like that. There were people following us and two were taking videos and it was really fucking uncomfortable.

Right after he was outside the building and the premises, he started to draw this stunning drawing of the building right on the pavement. It was almost magical, as if he had been commissioned to make an ad for my place but for a million bucks. At this point the people who were following us didn't even get pissed off because they were so engrossed in his drawing. I was surprised the marker kept going on.

After about 20 minutes - he was a real quick draw (no pun intended) - he stood up and a crowd of two dozen clapped and cheered for him.

I told him, "Dude that looks fucking amazing, but I thought we were in a pun-a-thon. Why such a long set-up?"

He replied, "Yeah it was pretty drawn out."


(for more drawn-out jokes like this, visit r/feghoot!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-Osterman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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My policy on hyphenated names

I draw the line after one name.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigSep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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As a cartographer, I'm used to adding terrain features to maps.

But when it comes to establishing a boundary, that's where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whudaboutit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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I would never let my child date an artist

That's where I draw the line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buvet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face."

That was the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 272
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

πŸ‘︎ 295
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxbergmusic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Why do North Koreans draw such perfect lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khanglikestowin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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I'm sorry, but this is where I draw the line

______________________________________

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirillsimin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Gerrymandering...

Where do we draw the line?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DARKKN1GHT453
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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So dotting "i's" is one thing...

But crossing "t's"? That's where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TvV1ST3D
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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I don’t mind maths.

But it is graphs where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CineArma
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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