Limping calici Puns

• Species: Feline
• Age: 4
• Sex/Neuter status: Spayed Female
• Breed: Domestic Shorthair
• Body weight: 8.4 pounds
• History: N/A
• Clinical signs: Limping, Sleeping all day, lethargic, loss of appetite, loss of playfulness, hardly meows, loss of independentness
• Duration: 3 weeks
• Your general location: North Dallas
• Links to test results, vet reports, X-rays etc.: https://imgur.com/a/oxzUe1C

Hi Everyone:

Normal Behavior: We have a cat who usually is extremely playful (to the point where she will bring you toys and meow at your feet until you play with her), loves to run around the house, is very vocal, hangs out around us, and LOVES to eat on her scheduled periods.

Background: A few weeks back (12/6/2021) the cat was playing by herself upstairs when she got caught in one of her tunnels and freaked out. She ran as fast as she could and bonked her head against the wall along with stumbling down the stairs with the toy still attached. We were able to calm her down and get the toy off. Didn't notice anything too unusual that night but she was a little freaked out. Thankfully the next day we had already planned to take her to the vet for her Rabies and FVRCP vaccine(12/7/2021).

First and Second Vet Visit: After the vaccines she was a little lethargic (which we expected) however after a couple of days she seemed to be getting better...until she wasn't. We noticed on 12/11/2021 that she developed a limp in her left front paw. Concerned, we immediately took her to the vet who gave her the shots. He examined her physically and said that he couldn't find anything wrong with her but no X-rays or bloodwork was done. He figured that she must have just tweaked her paw. He sent us home with pain medication (Onsior was the medicine). We went ahead and gave her the medicine and that calmed her down but made it so she was really not excited in life anymore. She started sleeping all day (typically away from us), refused to play, refused to run around, was no longer vocal, and started to lose her appetite (unless we physically carried her from the guest bed upstairs down to her food bowl). Once the medicine was gone, I called the vet again and scheduled another visit.

Third Vet Visit: This time I really voiced my concerns with the vet on the cats new behavior and he did another physical check on her. He mentioned X-rays but told me that typically he would feel if somethin

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

TW - death

please please get your rabbits vaccinated if they go outside.

This is a long post and i'm sorry.

I had two little buns - both Mini lops - a boy who I rescued (he was stressed out and depressed because his brother, his best friend, died unexpectedly) and a girl who I brought from a pet shop. They died in January 2021.

I stayed at my friends house one night and I left my sister in charge of the buns (she has 2 and is older than me). During really early hours of the morning my two were playing together. In the later hours of the morning my sister went to feed them and The boy didnt come out, so she thought he might be going toilet as he is in a 2-story hutch. Later on she checked on him and he still hadn't come out and hadnt eaten or touched his food so she looked in his room. He was laying dead in his bed. He had blood pouring out his nose and I didnt find out till like an hour or so later when I came home. He comes from a history of brain bleeds so we thought that he might've had a brain bleed but there was still a possibility of the Calici-virus as we get lots of wild rabbits that come to visit our rabbits. He was only 2 years and 3 months old and had died 5.January.21.

I was in the process of bonding them together so they weren't in the same cage as of when this happened but their caged were touching on the side and back.

My girl had been fine but we kept an eye on her just incase. She doesn't like to be carried or held she prefers for you to sit in front of her cage and scratch her nose. One day she was all limp and my sister carried her in to me and she wasn't moving but it was a hot day. We thought she mightve been dehydrated or even just hot as it was middle of summer. We decided to keep her in for the night in her cage to monitor her, she stayed in my sisters room because she knew what to do if something happened to her. She had lots of cuddles before bed. At 1:30am my sister woke up to a loud bang in her cage and she turned on her light to check. My princess ran a lap around her cage and then dropped. Almost instantly her muscles seized up and she was cold. She was only 9 months old and died 11.January.21.

The day my girl died was the day she and the other 2 rabbits were meant to get vaccinated but it seems we were too late. (my sisters rabbits are healthy and alive and vaccinated). 6 days apart they had died. Instantly we knew they had both gone to the terrible virus. I read somewhere that the virus takes 36 hours to kill the

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Is he Bjorn again?

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon