When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...

And he said, β€œBecause your mother is always right.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Man, I swear something is wrong with my left hand.

It never does anything right.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cold_sphagetti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...

I guess I'm just lambidextrous...

I'll show y'all to the door.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Hey did you here about the guy who got his left hand cut off?

Yeah I hear he's all Right.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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If you cut both your left hand and legs, you'll be alright
πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hzardous_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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What do you call a fish with no left hand?

just a regular fish, alright

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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If you cut your left hand, your right hand will be left.

Similar to... cutting both your left arm and leg makes you alright...

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hzardous_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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What do you call someone writing with a left hand?

Lefting

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?

She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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I bought two left hand gloves

On one hand it feels great, on the other hand, not so much

πŸ‘︎ 176
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PianoPlayer1323
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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I’m debating whether to write β€œYES” on my left hand and β€œNO” on my right hand.

I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgeekXD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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A butcher accidentally chopped off his left hand.

Guess he’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DNoiceMahn48
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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What do you have if you have a snowball in your right and a snowball in your left hand?

Frosty's full and undivided attention!

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerBearBar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I did everything with my left hand for a day...

It didn’t feel right

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dominator281
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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I heard some people masturbate with their left hands, so I tried it for myself.

It didn't feel right.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salty-Taco69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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and If she cuts her left hand her right hand is left...
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
When trying to write with you left hand

"this doesn't feel right at all"

"Exactly! It feels left!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snigal
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
For deer hunting do you use your right hand or left hand to pull the trigger?

Either or, I'm bambidextrous.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevectorvictor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My uncle got his left hand caught in a machine at work

But on the other hand he's alright. Don't worry.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AhmadRK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Son: How did you lose the little finger on your left hand, Dad?

Dad: I was showing someone how I lost the one on my right

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lineman5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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I burnt my left hand just before a test, but luckily I don't right with it.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost1010
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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What do you have if you have 3 oranges and 4 apples in your left hand and 4 oranges and 3 apples in your right hand?

Big hands

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuddaMudda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad's a racist...of left hands?

Last night at dinner, my family was discussing how many left-handed people we had. My sister and dad were the only right-handed people. My dad lifts a fist and says, "Right power!"

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BranCerddorion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If you cut your left hand,

Your right hand would be left

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levonsafaryan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I accidentally cut off my left hand today

But on the other hand, I feel all right

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plane_Garbage
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What can you hold in your left hand that you can't hold in your right hand?

Your right hand

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/98whitewings
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the thing that left hand can hold, but other hand can't?

Right hand

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knightsofvalour
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If you were to lose your left hand...

Would your right hand be left?

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehementvirtues
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2016
🚨︎ report
On the other hand, the left glove is the right one.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report

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