When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my motherβs in the other. I finally asked him why...
And he said, βBecause your mother is always right.β
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Man, I swear something is wrong with my left hand.
It never does anything right.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...
I guess I'm just lambidextrous...
I'll show y'all to the door.
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Hey did you here about the guy who got his left hand cut off?
Yeah I hear he's all Right.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
If you cut both your left hand and legs, you'll be alright
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︎ Jan 21 2020
What do you call a fish with no left hand?
just a regular fish, alright
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︎ Jun 14 2020
If you cut your left hand, your right hand will be left.
Similar to... cutting both your left arm and leg makes you alright...
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︎ Jan 22 2020
What do you call someone writing with a left hand?
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︎ Jan 23 2020
A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?
She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.
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︎ Feb 10 2020
I bought two left hand gloves
On one hand it feels great, on the other hand, not so much
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︎ Apr 04 2019
Iβm debating whether to write βYESβ on my left hand and βNOβ on my right hand.
I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.
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︎ Apr 30 2019
A butcher accidentally chopped off his left hand.
Guess heβs all right now.
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︎ Jul 19 2019
What do you have if you have a snowball in your right and a snowball in your left hand?
Frosty's full and undivided attention!
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︎ Apr 09 2019
I did everything with my left hand for a day...
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︎ Jun 04 2018
I heard some people masturbate with their left hands, so I tried it for myself.
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︎ Mar 22 2019
and If she cuts her left hand her right hand is left...
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︎ Mar 18 2018
When trying to write with you left hand
"this doesn't feel right at all"
"Exactly! It feels left!"
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︎ May 31 2019
For deer hunting do you use your right hand or left hand to pull the trigger?
Either or, I'm bambidextrous.
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︎ Nov 30 2018
My uncle got his left hand caught in a machine at work
But on the other hand he's alright. Don't worry.
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︎ Sep 30 2018
Son: How did you lose the little finger on your left hand, Dad?
Dad: I was showing someone how I lost the one on my right
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︎ Jun 13 2018
I burnt my left hand just before a test, but luckily I don't right with it.
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︎ Sep 30 2015
What do you have if you have 3 oranges and 4 apples in your left hand and 4 oranges and 3 apples in your right hand?
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︎ Jan 19 2017
My dad's a racist...of left hands?
Last night at dinner, my family was discussing how many left-handed people we had. My sister and dad were the only right-handed people. My dad lifts a fist and says, "Right power!"
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︎ Jan 13 2014
If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
If you cut your left hand,
Your right hand would be left
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︎ Dec 04 2020
I accidentally cut off my left hand today
But on the other hand, I feel all right
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︎ Jun 06 2020
What can you hold in your left hand that you can't hold in your right hand?
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︎ May 08 2018
What is the thing that left hand can hold, but other hand can't?
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︎ Jul 02 2019
If you were to lose your left hand...
Would your right hand be left?
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︎ Mar 09 2016
On the other hand, the left glove is the right one.
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︎ May 04 2017
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