A list of puns related to "LA 4"
r/punpatrol
r/punKGB
r/Pun_Internal_Affairs
r/punspecialforces
These are the names of our oppressors! There may be more, but they are our greatest threat. They are currently amassing an army to try to end puns as we know it.
If we are to save this beautiful form of our language, than we must unite! We must not divide ourselves by titles, but unite ourselves as punners!
They plan on eradicating all puns by going to the source, the pun user. Are we to let ourselves be undermined by those who think they are better than us? Are we to let ourselves and all future generations be banned from puns? If you say no, then join in the revolt
##VIVA LA R/PUNS
A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"
Yep, it's against the la.
¿Qué dijo la gallina de un lado del camino a la gallina del otro lado del camino?
“¡PA’CA! ¡PA’CA!”
English:
What did the chicken on one side of the road say to the chicken on the other side of the road?
“Over here! Over here!”
(“Pa’ca” means “over here” in colloquial Spanish)
(I’m of Cuban descent for reference)
We all knew that at some point, we’d have to discuss the LA font in the room.
French woman with Covid?
La Wheez.
Everything in the menu is *a la carte
I’m calling it Vista la Hosta, baby!
I quickly replied, if it happens, you can say Hosta la vista, baby.
That got me a round of slow clapping from the whole family.
A young man worked at a carpet selling business and one day his boss came up to him and said:
"We have been impressed with how you sell the products. We're going to send you to a carpeting convention in Las Vegas so you can learn all the tricks of the trade. We will pay for your flights, accommodation, and all your food!"
The young man was excited and went and got ready for his trip. The day of the trip came and the young man's boss called and asked him if he was excited for his adventure to which the young man replied:
"Yes I am! I'm gonna seize the day because I've got a carpet per diem"
2:30 AM: A woman accused of robbing a large bank in San Francisco
6:00 PM: A man accused of scamming high rollers in Las Vegas
9:00 PM: A man accused of shooting two rival gang members in Los Angeles
The last one: Keep him away from the Crip tonight
The creme de la crematorium
La palabra mas larga
Would it then be called a Gonja-la?
A: Pasta la vista, baby!
I think somersaults should be renamed cartwheels
And cartwheels should be named a la carewheels.
Cuz they're on the side
... encore faut-il que ce soit la sienne !
Sol-La-Mi!
LaVAzza
Told my girlfriend I had some ideas for names for our future kids.
First was Penelope for a girl, because I always liked the nickname Penny. Girlfriend thought it was cute and agreed.
Next was Dimitri because it's not too common and sounds artsy. Girlfriend was not much of a fan, but agreed it would sound good with our last name.
Last was Nicholas Levar for a son's name. Named after Santa Claus and Star Trek's Geordi La Forge. I love Christmas and my girlfriend loves Star Trek. Girlfriend shot it down.
At this point I said, "But the nicknames are good! Penny, Dime, and Nick L. We would have 16 cents to our name! It makes cents to me!"
Not sure if she wants to have kids with me now.
EDIT: To the guys saying Dime isn't a nickname for Dimitri, they're MY imaginary kids, I'll call them what I damn want.
Eh, I’ll do it la-
So that both of us are in A la mode.
LaHore
So last night, i proposed to my girlfriend of 7 years. We went to go watch Boyz ii Men out here in Las Vegas. I had purchased the meet and greet package to which the entire show staff and Boyz ii Men were completely aware about what I was about to do.
After I had popped the question, there was silence, Wanya turns over to my girlfriend, and says, "You can say, he's On Bended Knee." I heard my girlfriend silently groan under her breath, before she said YES!
I'm notorious for puns in our relationship, so after he came through with that punchline, she knew that they were in on it too. What an honorable night for a dadjoke!
Photos of the moment here!
http://imgur.com/a/pIO0h
Q: What is the average math teacher?
A: mean
Q: What dessert do math teachers eat the most?
A: pie a la mode
Q: Where does the average cop hide when catching people for speeding?
A: The highway median
English and Spanish.
The Trump administration is making a game out of getting Latinos out of the country, they call it deporte.
Spanish heathens have to pay extra to preforn their ceremonies. Pagan rituals
What sci-fi weapon does the King of Spain prefer? A rey-gun!
Do you know how many times anyone had to tell me how to say 'eleven' in Spanish? Once.
Exclusivamente en español (Perdón por errores gramaticales)
Qué comida es el mas mojado? El agua-cate
Cual comida no puede decir una mentira? La verdadura
Como se llama un libro sobra la revolución? Libre!
Qué es exactamente una mejor que Beyonce? Beydoce
Cual animal siempre tiene un novio o novia? El Parejaro.
Cual comida es el menos diverido? Aburrito.
Sobre que papel de pelicula de Madonna no le quiere hablar? Evita!
Quiero que me digáis mas. Nunca tengo suficiente bromas!
I heard on the radio a few days ago:
Imagine dragons will be performing in Las Vegas on New Years Eve!
Cant you IMAGINE
Me: Oops. Sorry. * raising glass* VIVE LA FRANCE!
I was sitting at a moderately crowded bar last night enjoying dinner when an older couple came up and sat next to me. We exchanged hellos and I continued eating my jambalaya. After a bit, the husband finally knew what he wanted to drink.
Husband: "Do you have (so and so) beer?"
Bartender: "Hang on a sec, I'll check."
As the bartender walked away, the husband held both of his arms in the air, closing his hands into fists right above his head, a la Steve Holt. After about 30 seconds, and you could tell she really didn't want to, the wife asks what he's doing.
Wife: "Honey, why are your arms in the air?"
Husband: "I'm hanging on."
The wife rolls her eyes and I laugh inappropriately loudly. He grins.
So at this point, the joke has been made. It's over. But no! He's in it for the long haul. He kept his arms in the air for a solid 3 more minutes, just so the bartender could get in on the joke. She returns with his bottle of beer.
Husband: "Can I stop hanging on now?"
Bartender groans.
Wife: "Yes, please."
I admire his dedication. And his taste in beer.
Hosta la vista!
"Tree-va la Résistance!"
It was one of my prouder parenting moments.
important, my family speaks Spanish
After my school's Christmas concert, I went out to eat with my family. They were asking me about some people who were announced for having made it into the All-State Band and Orchestra, one of which was a string bass player (contrabajo in Spanish).
I told them: "Si... Ella toca contrabajo. (Yes... She plays string bass.)"
And my dad replies: "¿Pues si toca con trabajo, porque la aceptaron? (Well if she plays with difficulty, why did they accept her?)"
TL;DR: Contrabajo = string bass, con trabajo = with difficulty
When Harry Met Salad
What About Ke-Bob
Cumin to America
Weekend at Bearneaise II
Steakin I, II, & III
A Few Good Salmon
You’ve Got Kale
Shawshank Re-Dim Sum
Romancing the Scone
An Éclair to Remember
Roman Hollandaise
Glazed and Confused
Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure
The Evil Bread
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp
Fondue the Right Thing
Ribeyes Wide Shut
Mignons
Plante of the Grapes
Spider Manchu
Sushis All That
A Wok to Remember
Marsala-la Land
Apocalypse Cow
Die Chard
Die Chard with a Vinaigrette
Hogan’s Gyros
The Sand Latkes
A League of their Macaroni
Revenge of the Curds
Rush S’More
Braising Arizona
Demolition Ham
10 Things I hate About Ewe
Saladin
Oliver and Com-penne
Dirty Rotten Chanterelles
Sex and the Satay
The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs
Morella Enchanted
Provolone Together
Clear and Pheasant Danger
The Big Chili
Lémon: The Professional
Ava-Tartare
Hocous Pocous
High Fi-Deli Meat
Madagascargot
The Fifth Elementos
Muensters Inc.
There’s Something About Rosemary
I Am Ham
Quiche Lorraine Man
Barley & Me
Lentil Giants
Peggy Soufflé Got Married
Face Stroganoff
Con Gruyére
Fast Times at Porridgemont High
Bok Choys in the Hood
Papillonion
Requinoa for a Dream
Serial Cardamom
So my grandfather is on his honeymoon with our grandmother and they are driving to Las Vegas, on their way there they see a fellow on the side of the road. They debate about taking him to the city instead of leaving him there, the end up letting him get a ride to the city, they say "Hey sir, want a ride to the city?" He replies "sure thanks", they drive down the road and notice he has a bag, so they ask " what's in the bag?" He replies with "None of your damn business" they start to think in their heads, what if he has something illegal or dangerous, so my grandfather takes action, he goes to the side of the road and pretends to fake piss and opens the door and my grandmother kicks him out and my grandfather gets back in locks the door and they speed off, as they're driving they notice he left his back and dropped it in the car, they decide to open and see what it beholds, they open the bag and find a single piece of paper, the paper had wording on it, it said "None of your damn business."
My brain:
Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it
Me: ‘hAvEn’t HaD A sHoWeR sInCe LaSt YeAr’
Hasta la Windows Vista baby!
Mom and I were in the car and this conversation happened:
Mom: "that car is such an ugly shade of green"
Me: "I agreen"
Mom: "ha. ha. ha." rolls eyes
Me: "Es la verde-d!"
My dad asked me to look for some chips so I went to look for them...
Me: Donde estan? - Where are they?
Dad: En la alacena. - In the cupboard.
I got the chips and when I got back to my dad a spark of creativity came to me...
Me: No las podia encontrar, es que estaba buscando en el almuerzo y no en la cena.
-I couldn't find them, seems I was looking in lunch and not in dinner.
My dad smiled and ate his chips.
for reference, alacena = cupboard, cena = dinner
So me and my dad were talking about some stuff and I said "c'est la vie" and he replied with "La vie".
We both cracked laughing
So this joke needs a little context: I go to school at USC in South LA.
We were turning in our homework assignments and people kept turning them in with the edges folded instead of stapled. My professor looks at us and says "If you guys need staples, there is a staples center about a mile from here." We just stared back at him and then slowly all started to laugh.
"They moved to LA" I replied.
(We live in San Diego.)
my response: "la vie"
Oui, il sait porter La Croix.
Sorry that this isn't a joke itself but my pizza place is making a newsletter and I need to come up with a punny name for it. So far the front runner is MozzarelLA Times
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long
Courtney Love once asked Jon Bon Jovi to name her new band. Bon Jovi jokingly suggested 'Hole'.
Love though this was great - provocative and rude - so she went with it. Her ex, Corey Hart, of 'Sunglasses At Night' fame, did not approve. He sought to confront Bon Jovi on the night of Hole's first gig and, a little drunk, tried to climb the fence of Bon Jovi's LA estate.
Bon Jovi, thinking Hart an intruder, winged him with a gun belonging to Bono and The Edge's tour manager, who was dining there that night. The ensuing fracas was in all the papers, overshadowing Hole's debut, and angering Kurt Cobain, who was interested in Hole's lead singer.
Cobain sent Jon Bon Jovi a note, demanding he apologise, and Bon Jovi replied ...
"Shot Corey Hart, and U2 blamed. You give Love a band name."
I mean they call the swimming pool la piscine, when that's not what you want to see people doing at the pool.
Her: I want to go to Las Vegas too!
Me: Is it better than Las Vegas one?
La comicidad
A man is going plant shopping and is getting help from an attractive cashier. He finally gets ready to buy his leafy plants when she asks how he'll be paying. He lowers his sunglasses and says "hosta la Visa, baby"
I've asked my dad for a couple of changes around the house lately. After I mentioned something else today, I remarked that our family could use a suggestion box, but then said that I realized it would quickly be full of requests for La-Z-Boy recliners.
Dad replies: "But we've already got our own full-sized lazy boy!" and of course starts laughing as if he were the funniest dad ever.
A text exchange with my own dad this morning: https://imgur.com/gallery/qLaI2
The wife and I had her mother over whilst eating dinner, a la Taco Bell.
After trying some of our daughter's food, my wife insists that it is way spicier than she expected, and proceeds to tell my mother in law she has to try it - Saying "I think it's spicy nacho sauce."
After a moment or so, I piped up "I wouldn't know, it isn't my sauce." and put on my best I made a pun face.
MIL loses it, and my wife looks confused for a few seconds and goes to offer me a taste before the groaning ensued. Victory!
I was hanging out with my dad and grandpa this weekend. My grandpa was talking about how big the airport in LA was compared to Detroit.
My dad chimes in "yeah it's a big airport but I heard the security is pretty LAX" groans ensue
He adds "I heard when you retire from working there they give you a bottle of ex-lax"
That'll do dad. That'll do.
My friend had a really interesting job. One of those jobs you didn't know people could get.
tl;dr just read it, it's worth reading the whole description of the job
Before I moved, my neighbor's job was based in Antarctica. He worked with one of the research centers there, and his job was standing up penguins. I kid you not — when shipments arrived by air, like by helicopter or by airplane or whatever, the penguins would all look up with their tiny heads and look up so high they would fall over backwards. Now, penguins are super awkward in how they waddle everywhere, and so, not wanting to disturb the local environment, the research station had to have someone that could suit up and go out there and stand up penguins.
As soon as every shipment arrived, he would say, "Welp, better go suit up now," get into the whole penguin suit, and waddle out there all incognito and stand the penguins on their feet again. I'm sure they could have done it on their own, eventually, but the idea was to disturb the animals for as little time as possible.
I thought it was the most ridiculous thing when he told me, but he got the job through his dad's researcher colleague. Basically, the deal was they would get people to go down for 3-month periods (I think he ended up doing 6 months) and this was his occupation for that time. Actually, is plane flight there was one of the really cool parts: LA went to Sydney, which then went back across the Pacific to Buenos Aires. Then, on the final leg, he would finally go Buenos Aires to the research station. The planes actually had to be specially fitted for the job, though — Of course, you can't have typical runways in Antarctica because they'd get ice all over them and there'd be all these problems — so the planes had to have mechanics on board each flight who would, mid-flight, switch out the take-off wheels for the landing skis. Just like a sea plane, except it was a snow-plane. Coolest thing ever.
Oh, but the way he described working with the penguins was the best! Most of the time he'd just go out and stand them up, but sometimes one would hurt itself. Like one time one of them fell over backwards and hit its foot the wrong way, so he had to not only pick it up, but give medical help, too. He seriously had to prop up the penguin, take off his glove, and pull on each of the penguins little webbed toes, pull on their legs. Sort of like how I'm pulling your leg right now.
...my friend and I would pass La Brea Bakery.
"Looks like they forgot the D."
Dad: "Whats the difference between a bus station in LA and a lobster w/ D-Sized breasts?"
Friend" "What?"
Dad: "Ones a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."
Went out to town the other day to La Pizzeria
GF was looking at the menu and said: "I wonder how big the 10 inch pizza is"
Me: About 10 inches
Eyes were rolled.
"What's the MLS team in LA?" Me: "LA Galaxy?" "Yeah, but what were they before that?" Me: "I think they were the LA iPhones"
Cousin flew in from LA to Michigan and we haven't seen him in 3 years. We are all Korean and my dad has a very thick Korean accent.
Dad: Does your eye hurt?
Cousin: No why?
Dad: Long time no see.
Cousin: ugh....
My wife is making lasagne and was about to put it into the oven.
Her (to my son): "Say goodbye to the lasagne overkill_jnr!"
Me: "Say Pasta la Vista"
This got a hi 5 from my boy and a dirty look from the missus.
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
A: Pasta la vista, baby!
A: Pasta la vista, baby!
Pasta la vista, baby
“Ra Ra Ah Ah Ah Ro Ma Ro Ma Ma Ga Ga Ohh La La” (Lady Gaga)
So that both of us are in a la mode.
They remember the a la mode
Pasta la vista!
Pasta la Vista baby
"Pasta la vista, baby."
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