4 Hilarious Keys to the Heart Puns

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

Bump…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

Bump…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.

Faster…

FASTER…

Bump…

BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.

Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup as the casket!

And…

The coffin stops….

👍︎ 43

💬︎

👤︎ u/ParadoxXSchock

📅︎ Nov 18 2020

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My friend's dad is amazing.

So, I have this friend named Mikee. I was over at her house with a couple of other friends for a road trip, and her dad started going crazy looking for something. He calls out "Hey, has anyone seen this heart-shaped box?"

So we all decided to look around for this heart-shaped box, and she eventually finds it. So she calls out to him "Hey dad! I think I found the box!" He comes in, and she gives him the box. Curious, I decided to ask him "So, what's in it?"

Smiling, he turns to me, and pulls out what was in the box.

"My keys."

He gives Mikee a hug, while everyone else is simultaneously awwing and groaning, while Mikee looks ready to die of embarrassment.

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/MidMindItch

📅︎ Sep 24 2016

🚨︎ report

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night

When behind him he hears:

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins running home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, and slams it shut and locks it behind him.

However, the casket crashes through the door, with the lid of the casket clacking

Clapity-BUMP...

on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs in the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him

A man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the bottle of cough syrup at the casket and...

The coffin stops.

👍︎ 50

💬︎

👤︎ u/Energylegs23

📅︎ Dec 05 2018

🚨︎ report

It was a dark and foggy night

A man is walking home alone one foggy evening, when behind him he faintly hears:

thump...

Senses tingling, he begins walking faster only to look back and make out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.

THUMP...

Terrified, the man begins running home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER

THUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, slams it shut and locks it behind him.

However, the casket crashes through the door, and with the lid of the casket clacking on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Clappity-THUMP...

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH! the casket breaks down the door. Thumping and clapping towards him, the man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws it at the casket and...

The coffin stops.

👍︎ 11

💬︎

👤︎ u/MysteryOrange7

📅︎ Jul 18 2019

🚨︎ report