Sadhguru was talking about the Kanakadhāra Stotram, but ‘liberals’ expected him to know of acts of sexual deviancy opindia.com/2019/07/sadhg…
👍︎ 4
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Sadhguru was talking about the Kanakadhāra Stotram, but ‘liberals’ expected him to know of acts of sexual deviancy opindia.com/2019/07/sadhg…
👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/newsbot_
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Sadhguru was talking about the Kanakadhāra Stotram, but ‘liberals’ expected him to know of acts of sexual deviancy opindia.com/2019/07/sadhg…
👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

👍︎ 5k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 02 2021
🚨︎ report
DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

👍︎ 12k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Pulled a Dad Joke on a Nurse

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

👍︎ 10k
💬︎
👤︎ u/rei_920
📅︎ Jul 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...

..... Will get a reward.

👍︎ 11k
💬︎
👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jul 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I'd ruther not say
👍︎ 10k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Rational
👍︎ 8k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are elevator jokes so good

Because they work on many levels

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Zayan-ali
📅︎ Jun 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Interviewer : why should we hire you as a waiter?

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

👍︎ 8k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Argon enters a bar, the bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases here.”

Argon does not react.

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 06 2021
🚨︎ report
If Apple made a car what would it be missing?

Windows

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Moplex1234
📅︎ Jul 02 2021
🚨︎ report
There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

👍︎ 12k
💬︎
👤︎ u/jzagri
📅︎ Jun 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

👍︎ 12k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 29 2021
🚨︎ report
He needs grounded
👍︎ 4k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 06 2021
🚨︎ report
"ground" the kid
👍︎ 6k
💬︎
👤︎ u/freakynit
📅︎ Jul 03 2021
🚨︎ report
MMM, burgers
👍︎ 5k
💬︎
👤︎ u/mkxviii
📅︎ Jul 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally handed me a dad joke on a platter and it was glorious.

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

👍︎ 5k
💬︎
👤︎ u/perryt2007
📅︎ Jul 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

👍︎ 6k
💬︎
👤︎ u/tieyz
📅︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Well there goes his reproductive fitness...
👍︎ 6k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Proud dad moment.

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
👍︎ 3k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
👤︎ u/wotmate
📅︎ Jul 05 2021
🚨︎ report
so many choices
👍︎ 5k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Gottemm
👍︎ 8k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What pan is the best to make sushi in?

Japan.

👍︎ 6k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Well that didn't cross my mind
👍︎ 6k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 11 2021
🚨︎ report
He knows too much
👍︎ 6k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

👍︎ 8k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 03 2021
🚨︎ report
where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Charjar Binks
👍︎ 2k
💬︎
👤︎ u/MrCloud-YT
📅︎ Jul 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
3.14159265387279 snek
👍︎ 4k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
👍︎ 3k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

👍︎ 5k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

👍︎ 6k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Rock bottom
👍︎ 4k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Theo19555
📅︎ Jun 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Well Rounded Pun
👍︎ 3k
💬︎
👤︎ u/SpivLife
📅︎ Jul 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I never really understood why it was spelled: camouflage

and not:

👍︎ 4k
💬︎
👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Jul 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

👍︎ 8k
💬︎
👤︎ u/hypeaze
📅︎ Jun 23 2021
🚨︎ report
This sub
👍︎ 2k
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

👍︎ 10k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

👍︎ 5k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.