Sadhguru was talking about the Kanakadhฤra Stotram, but โ€˜liberalsโ€™ expected him to know of acts of sexual deviancy opindia.com/2019/07/sadhgโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anti_Anti_Nacional
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Sadhguru was talking about the Kanakadhฤra Stotram, but โ€˜liberalsโ€™ expected him to know of acts of sexual deviancy opindia.com/2019/07/sadhgโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/newsbot_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Sadhguru was talking about the Kanakadhฤra Stotram, but โ€˜liberalsโ€™ expected him to know of acts of sexual deviancy opindia.com/2019/07/sadhgโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anti_Anti_Nacional
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rumblebully
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Von_Bostaph
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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Pulled a Dad Joke on a Nurse

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rei_920
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07 2021
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Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...

..... Will get a reward.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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Whatโ€™s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WVU_Benjisaur
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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I'd ruther not say
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Un_FaZed211
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Rational
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mainhoonmadrasi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Why are elevator jokes so good

Because they work on many levels

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The_Fox1984
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Zayan-ali
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Interviewer : why should we hire you as a waiter?

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Motor_Fox_9541
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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Argon enters a bar, the bartender says โ€œWe donโ€™t serve noble gases here.โ€

Argon does not react.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dick_Squeakly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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If Apple made a car what would it be missing?

Windows

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Moplex1234
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jzagri
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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He needs grounded
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AthanasiaStygian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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"ground" the kid
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/freakynit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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MMM, burgers
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mkxviii
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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My son accidentally handed me a dad joke on a platter and it was glorious.

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesnโ€™t look serious I always do the โ€œwe might have to amputate that bruised handโ€ shtick with them. Iโ€™ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasnโ€™t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say โ€œlooks like we will have to amputate your nose.โ€ To which he replies โ€œthen how will I smell?โ€ And I say โ€œterrible!โ€

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/perryt2007
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tieyz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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Well there goes his reproductive fitness...
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/annnnnnnnie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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Proud dad moment.

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LaBarbaGuapa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/give_me_my_identity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mediashiznaks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wotmate
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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so many choices
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SailorNebula
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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Gottemm
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Un_FaZed211
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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What pan is the best to make sushi in?

Japan.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Most-Stomach4240
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Well that didn't cross my mind
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JasonPetreasCoach
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
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He knows too much
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Potato_salad123
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/808gecko808
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bigus-_-dickus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Charjar Binks
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrCloud-YT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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3.14159265387279 snek
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/awesome_smokey
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theimmortalmeluhan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasnโ€™t expecting this!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/motherduck5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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Rock bottom
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Theo19555
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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Well Rounded Pun
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SpivLife
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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I never really understood why it was spelled: camouflage

and not:

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/professorf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hypeaze
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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This sub
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/No_Bend5385
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07 2021
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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