Johnny Buss Puns

Interesting tidbit that got buried in this Lakers drama article:

>The question hanging over everything now is what Jim and Johnny Buss really want: to be restored to power? To be bought out? Something else entirely?

>"This is something huge and it's not going to go away. They're trying to bust the trust so they can sell their [interests]," younger sister Janie Buss says. "And if they sell, that'll leave the rest of us in a minority."

>Janie says she thinks that Johnny and Jim each have different motivations but that their endgame is the same: to cash out.

>"Growing up, Johnny was the kid who brought the ball to the park and when things didn't go his way, he took the ball and ran," Janie says. "I don't want to call him a poor sport, because a poor sport would be someone who lost a game and kicked the referee. No, Johnny took the ball away so nobody could play.

>"Jimmy will bring the ball, but he'll be like, 'Everyone gets to play, but you have to put a dollar in to play. He tries to figure out things mathematically, how to get the best advantage."

Source

You people should take the time to read Ramona's article. It's insane.

In watching and rewatching the show I feel David was the first to realize and to accept the town and what's going on in their lives. For me it starts with lawn signs. Whew David gets the check for 40,000 dollars he was the only one who realized reluctantly that they needed to save that money. Then even being able to build his own business in the town. Yes Johnny partners with Stevie with the hotel but that started more out of desperation not to lose where they are staying but he too accepted the town soon after David especially when he fully devotes his time and energy into the hotel as a bussness.

Race Information

• Name: California International Marathon
• Date: December 5, 2021
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: Sacramento, CA
• Website: https://runsra.org/california-international-marathon/
• Time: 3:23:5x
• Average pace: 7:47

Pre-race:

Like many of us, I started running during the pandemic as means to exercise while staying close to home (I previously was mostly a cyclist). I live in Sacramento and have always wanted to run the CIM, but just never devoted time to train due to my cycling preference. Well queue the pandemic and now I have plenty of time to train! I ran unstructured starting in the summer of 2020, just trying to keep any fitness I had prior to the original quarantine. After about year of running, I decided to finally sign up for the CIM in 2021, and followed a generic free marathon training plan from Runner's World. I followed the plan very closely and felt that it suited me pretty well!

In preparation for this race, I ran a few races earlier this year including a 10K, a Half, and a 30K. I am so glad that I ran them too because I learned a lot from each, especially pacing and eating/drinking while running.

Race Day:

I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3am and sleepily ate a bagel with almond butter and Nutella, and tried to eat a banana but couldn't finish either. I used the bathroom and tried to get to the busses in downtown by 4:45 am. I arrived a little on the later side and got on the first bus that was still accepting people. Literally by chance, after about 5 minutes into the bus ride I realized that I was sitting next to someone that I used to race bikes with that I hadn't seen in almost 10 years! Pretty cool! We realized this when we both noticed and remarked that our bus driver took the wrong freeway exit and and had to make 15+ minute detour. We chatted a bit throughout the ride, which really helped to calm my nerves. Interestingly, we both finish

“Rachel, I want you to come home with me tonight.” Johnny said.

“Johnny, we’re not-” Rachel started.

“No bullshit. He followed you home. He knows where your apartment is. You can sleep on my couch, I’ll make you dinner. I don’t want you to go back to your place tonight.” Johnny said.

“Johnny, I have a gun.” Rachel said.

“Since when?” Johnny asked.

“Yesterday. I got one from the gangbangers that hold down the liquor store when I saw he was following me.” Rachel explained.

“It’s hot, isn’t it?” Johnny asked.

“Of course it’s hot.” Rachel admitted.

“That’s not smart, Ray.” Johnny said.

“I know it’s not smart, but he was on my ass, I needed protection.” Rachel said.

“Tonight. End of our shift. You get in my car, you come home with me, you sleep on my couch. Or I’ll take the couch, you can have the bed. Whatever makes you feel better. I don’t want you going home alone tonight.” Johnny said.

Rachel looked at him sideways.

“Rachel, I'm serious. A creeper used to follow my sister home from the club for 3 weeks. I met him at her place one night with a baseball bat and busted up his car. I’m not fucking around.” Johnny said.

“I’ll crash at your place tonight.” Rachel said.

“Okay. look, I just need you to try to relax for the rest of your shift. Avoid him, I’ll send the other girls to cover for you. Right now, he’s here, and that’s good, because we know where he is, and we’ve got cameras and bouncers. You’re safe while we’ve got eyes on him.” Johnny said.

“So I should just hang out and act like I didn’t just look right at him and know he was following me home last night?” Rachel asked.

“That was your fuck up. You should have come back to the club, or ducked through an alley or something to lose him. You know these streets. But now he knows where you live, so which do you think is better- He can stay in here where I can crack his fucking skull if he does something, or we can kick him out, and he can be waiting for you masked up in a bush outside your building or some shit.” Johnny said.

Rachel sighed. “I hate it, but I know you’re right. It’s better for us to keep an eye on him here.”

Jenny came up to the bar again after a trip around the floor. “What’s the deal with fucking Ray’s boyfriend at table 2? I just took a run at him and he asked for the white waitress to bring him a drink. Isn’t that the same loser that came in here yesterday and only tipped her?”

“Jenny, I need you to run his drink orders tonight.” Johnny said.

“I’m a dancer, not a wa

TWO

Rachel’s shift passed uneventfully. One of the guys from the bachelor party got a little too hands on with Tiffany, but Johnny was right behind her, and shut it down quickly. The white collar human boys, not used to being in trouble on the wrong side of the tracks, were quick to make reparations. Tiffany got a financial apology, and when they closed their tab and left, Rachel got tipped out better than she expected.

Before she went back into the dressing room to change back into her street clothes and leave, she took one last scan of the room. The creeper guy at table two that had been tipping her well but ignoring the other girls looked like he was getting up and leaving. Johnny caught Rachel’s eyes. He nodded towards her, then nodded towards the creep, then looked back at her.

Rachel wasn’t scared. The guy looked like another white collar dead ender in some boring career. He had a receding hairline and a bit of a gut under his button up shirt, he didn’t look like he'd be much of a fight if it came to that. Rachel imagined that he had some kind of incredibly banal human job, like selling vinyl siding or holding down a cubicle in some office farm. She went into the locker room and grabbed her ratty clothes out of the locker, stripped out of her sex trash, and got ready to leave.

“You want me to walk you out?” Johnny asked. He did that for all the girls, it was his job and his choice.

“I’m fine Johnny.” Rachel told him.

“That guy left two minutes after you got off the floor. Didn’t take any dances or put any dollar bills on the main stage the whole time he was in here. He’s got a thing for you, Ray.” Johnny said.

“It’s weird, but I guess it’s possible I’m just his type.” Rachel shrugged.

“Just call the club if something weird happens on your walk home, okay? Anything. Don’t take any chances. You know I don’t like it when you girls get hurt.” Johnny said.

“We’re not girls, Johnny. We’re tieflings. We’ve been getting shit on by humans our whole life, I can take care of myself.”

“Rachel, I trust you to take care of yourself. But I don’t trust cops.” Johnny said. “I don’t want to hear your voice on a 911 tape on the news.”

Rachel shook her head and walked out.

On the walk home, she passed the Hell Patrol office again. The sergeant was there, still standing in the window, as if he had never left. Rachel wondered how much coffee he drank in a day to accomplish that. She had never walked past that place without him being there.

Seeing him remi

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Cutscene changes-

Depending on the choice the player makes when given more than one option, certain cutscenes afterwards could change depending on the action.

Some examples: Cleaning out the Bureau: Depending on the responses that Michael gives to his therapist, the cutscene of Michael entering the janitor’s apartment could change between the one we already have if Michael agrees to follow Dr. Friedlander’s advice, and an unused cutscene in which Michael stealthily kills the janitor, if Michael doesn’t agree with Dr. Friedlander. Michael’s behavior and dialogue in other missions and cutscenes could also change, too.

The Time’s Come: If Franklin chooses to save Michael, the cutscene after would remain the same, however if he chooses to drop Michael, him yelling “Fuck!” in reaction to Michael falling would be replaced with him simply looking over the edge and catching his breath. Also, if this option is chosen, he could be shown to be less remorseful than he currently is in his reply to Amanda’s email and to Jimmy’s calls. The same could be done the other way around, where he feels more remorseful when talking to Trevor on the street.

The Third Way: If the player manages to kill all of Devin Weston’s Merryweather guards undetected, the cutscene afterwards could instead be of Trevor walking up to Devin while he sits on his poolside chair, rather than as he hides in a box. He could say something like, “Trevor?? How did you get in here? Wait, wait, hear me out!” before Trevor punches him.

Interiors-

Buildings that don’t have accessible interiors, like Cluckin’ Bell and Rockford Plaza could have their own interiors added. Also, buildings that are only mission accessible, such as the Humane Labs, the hospital, etc, could have their interiors open during freeroam. For buildings like the FIB headquarters, they could act similar to the Mission Row police station, where you can enter the lobby, but if you go anywhere past that, like in this case an upper floor, you get a wanted level.

Extra missions-

Unused missions like Mrs. A and Mrs. B, Save Film Studio, Social Networking, etc, could be readded, along with an optional heist, similar to the optional Rhodes bank robbery mission in RDR2.

More weapons-

Unused weapons like the shovel, the assault sniper, the glock, etc, could be added.

More property-

More businesses could be made available for purchase to get the player extra cash after the end of the game, and safehouses to save your game and customize you

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments