(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
...they will be subma-weiners.
It will be my Civic duty.
Root-ing two-ting
They’re cornfidential
With a batter-ing ram to do it all at once, or you can chocolate chip away at it for a long time.
His act is a-maize-ing
It really pops
Its bird-gin-ing research.
So today, I had a conversation with my friend while walking home from school. At one point my lace untied and he pointed that out to me while we were walking past a 7eleven. I am horrible at making puns so forgive me. I shall call him J
J: You u should tie up your shoes
Me(pointing to the lays packet in the store): I can't be bothered tying my shoe-lays
J: You should stop spread them all around the "play-se" (place)
Me: Well maybe you should stop lay-zing around and actually study(he couldn't reply to that cuz all he does is lay-ing around aimlessly. Haha! See what I did there!)
Conversation deviates
Me: come follow me to Cheers let's look for a giftcard
J: nah
Me: get your lay-z ass over to cheers u ungrateful bitch! u make my life lays miserables
Because they’re so boaring
I had to go to court and was wearing a suit and tie. My 10 year old daughter thought this was fantastic for dress up was very interested. I took this as a teachable moment and wanted to tell her about showing respect for your personal appearance and showing up professionally. So I asked her, do you know why I dressed like this? She said to be professional. I said I want to show that I respect myself and I have respect for the court so I dressed accordingly. She laughed and said, "You mean you dressed acourtingly."
tl;dr
Daughter dad joked me about wearing a suit about dressing accourtingly
Because they're all bent
“I’ve gotta take a dump-a dump dump!”
Two guys walk up to huge hole in the ground. One says, "What a huge cave." The other says, "No, it's mine."
I have a feeling he is turning a deaf ear.
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
It was an a-maize-ing experience
At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so it’s an odd request.
Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled “Heater?”.
Gary replies, “Yeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing tool” as he crosses his arms and shivers.
Because they got tired of queuing and moved on
She said I was just corny.
Because he was used to nazi-ing.
Son: daddy?
Me: yes?
Son: yes?
Me: are you copying me?
Son: are you copying me?
Me: Starbucks
Son: Starbucks
Me: are you coffee-ing me?
I said “Is that a fret”
But the spoilers ruined it for me.
Every time I see them they seem to be ale-ing.
His name was Noh Pahk Ing
