Why do people sing in the shower?

Because the audience in the toilet is shit!

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👤︎ u/nirinaron
📅︎ Oct 02 2020
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If you have bladder problems...

Urine trouble.

👍︎ 39
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👤︎ u/blaise21
📅︎ Jul 11 2019
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I guess I'm a dad now...[actually happened]

Me: Starts randomly meowing in bed

Wife comes in and looks at me as much as to say WTF?

Me: I was cat calling you; and it worked!

Wife sighs and looks defeated

Me: Laughs hysterically

👍︎ 240
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👤︎ u/james2432
📅︎ Jun 16 2018
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How do drug addicts breath?

CocaINe, cocaOUTe

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📅︎ Sep 06 2020
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What does the grape say when someone steps on it?

Nothing. It just lets out a little w(h)ine.

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📅︎ Jul 02 2019
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I was beating the shit out of a grape the other day

It let out a little wh(INE)

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👤︎ u/txnt
📅︎ Apr 08 2019
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What is Hannibal's preferred choice of fruit?

A lecter-ine.

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👤︎ u/Sl4yer04
📅︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report

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