In Rolling Waves Puns

Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.

We got back to the house and my nephew said...

Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.

Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?

Nephew: no. Is it still broken?

Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.

He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.

An old Irishman and his wife were walking along the seashore. He pointed out to the waves and said, “Molly, do you know why it’s called the ‘sea?’ Because when you’re out in the middle of it, it’s the only thing you can see!”

And Molly sighed, rolled her eyes, and said, “Oh, Sean...”

As a bit of context, at my work we sell Solar Powered Waving Queens. They wave with their right hand. A repeat customer came in with her husband and dog to get a dog treat and they see these queens, and the man looks to the wife(the repeat customer) and holds up his left hand saying "Do you know why the Queen doesn't wave with this hand?"

His wife says "No, why?"

Her husband says "Well, because it's my hand." His wife rolls her eyes and I'm standing behind the counter laughing my ass off.

So my wife's birthday was coming up, and she really loves absinthe. Lately she had been talking about visiting some bars or restaurants that served it, so I decided to splurge a bit and buy her a set of glasses and spoons, along with a nice bottle of "the green fairy."

Doing a little research, I discovered that a local distillery produced a well-regarded version of it, so I decided to hit a few liquor stores around town to see if they carried it. As luck would have it, the first place I went to did have some in stock.

I took it up to the counter and got into a conversation with the cashier. I explained how this was going to be a birthday present for my wife, and hopefully it would score me a few points in the romance department. His response: "Well, you know what they say--absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!"

I was dumbstruck. He started to apologize for his "corny joke" (as he put it), but I waved him off and was finally able to commend him on his brilliance. The best part of all--I have a great dadjoke I can repeat to co-workers and family members (or anyone else who will listen) for repeated eye rolls and exasperated groans.