My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
I got in a car wreck and lost my left arm, but don’t worry...
I’m all right.
buh-dum-tsss
My brother lost his left arm and left leg in a terrible auto accident.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places
My son came home and said “Dad, I broke my arm in 12 places.”
So I said, “Well, stop going to those places then!”
My 7 year old brother lost his left arm in an accident
Dont worry, he's all 'right' now
I got in a bad accident and the doctors had to remove my left leg and arm
At that moment I realized I had nothing left to lose
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places....
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!!
My 3yr old son told me there was a real dinosaur in the house! So we spent the morning looking for it when we saw a tail around the corner, but it was just a fossil-arm.
Student with a cast on his arm walks in to class and says “I can’t write with my right hand today.”
I ask, can you left with your left hand?
Many students gave me props for the dad joke. One student said I sound like their dad. While I have no kids of my own, I’m glad I get to practice my dad jokes on my students.
If I were to break my arm, I'd be in a really bad mood...
...which is a shame, because otherwise I could make a humerus pun.
Me - i broke my arm in three places
Dad - well, Don't go to those places
My neighbor put up a new transparent barrier around their house. My dad is up in arms.
He said it’s clearly offensive.
My band member was up in arms after being made to crowd surf.
Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample.
I asked her if she was taking the piss
The doctors found a mole on my arm in the shape of a reindeer.
Turns out I have skin prancer
There was a horrible accident in my town yesterday. A kid was playing with a yo-yo and it somehow got caught in a car's bumper. The car took off and ripped the poor kids arm off.
The driver was arrested for armed robbery.
I just flew in from Asgard and man are my arms Thor!
I have a tattoo of the Scottish flag on my arm. Step dad is in Scotland.
Step dad texts me this morning
"Hey Paul, they really love you over here in Scotland, they show your tattoo everywhere!"
My daughter injured her arm and is now in a sling. She said "it is hard to write with my left".
I replied "It is even harder to left with your right"
My father lost his left arm in the war...
My dad told me a joke about the bone in my arm..
In drivers ed my teacher raised his arm above his head, and in his hand was a thumb tack.
He asks the class, "what does this mean", while still holding the thumb tack above his head. We sit there puzzled for a moment until he says "It means I'm under a tack."
If i break my arm in a dream and go to the medic, what does the medic put in my arm?
Just got this one. "The flu shot goes into the form? I'd prefer it in my arm, thanks"
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
I went to the doctor and I told him I broke my arm in two places.
He said stop going to those places
A mime in my town was arrested after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
In my town they arrested a mime that got into a bar fight and broke his left arm...
He still has the right to remain silent...
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
A mime was arrested in my town after getting into a bar fight and breaking his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places
He told me to stop going to those places.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in 2 places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
"Doctor, I broke my arm in several places."
Doctor: "Well, don't go to those places."
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places
He told me to stop going to those places
"Doctor, i've broken my arm in several places"
Doctor:" Well don't go to these places."
Son: Dad, I broke my arm in two places.
Dad: You should stay away from those places.
Guy: "I broke my arm in three places"
Doctor: "Well, don't go to those places"
I broke my arm in 3 places.
Well don't go to those places.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
I told my doctor I broke my arm in three places...
He said "Well don't to those places then!"
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