Son; “Go on, then.”
Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son; “That’s Superman.”
Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
I realized that was it, and I had to put my foot down.
I replied "Thank you, thank you very much."
I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.
To be honest, his Sinatra wasn't that bad.
Don’t worry, ”I’ll return”.
The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:
"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"
"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled
"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.
So I've had to put my foot down.
I dont like tractors any more
Me: “Oh no! Kryptonite! My only weakness!”
Son: “That’s Superman.”
Me: “Thank you very much! I’ve been practicing.”
So whenever I went for one I always entered the room saying “Nice to see you, to see you....”. Only once did someone respond.
Maybe he’s Bourne with it. Maybe he’s Wolverine.
I enter with stile.
I had to put my foot down upon that request.
I told him just beat it.
But hey ho
I thought that's worth a flutter.
“Now that’s more like It”
Well, I finally had to put my foot down.
Son: "What? Yes, totally!"
Dad (turns to look at mother tenderly): "I think she's a lovely and beautiful woman, a good wife to me, and a good mother to you."
Son: sigh.
Apparently I didn’t make a good first impression.
"Table for 3."
My grandpa says this joke weekly, and cracks up every time.
I needed ice at the office, so my wife was kind enough to provide.
http://imgur.com/rRnoo5U
A teenage son brings his girlfriend over for the first time. The son had asked the night before to make a good impression when she came over. When the son and the girlfriend decide to sit down on the couch, the dad immediately sits between them and starts shifting in his seat, the son asks "dad, what the hell are you doing?" The dad responds "I said I would make a good impression didn't I?" The dad proceeds to fall off the couch laughing and rolling around at his own joke while the son looks on in horror.
So this was a few years back for me and I best give a bit of background info: I was in the beginning of a new relationship with a girl, in my late teens . We were both at the same bording school, so I had to ask permission from her parents and my parents if she'd be allowed to come visit for weekend and all that. Got all the permissions sorted out, and planned a dinner at a chinese place. My dad and step mum came along for the ride, along with my sister.
Now, my dad has a weakish bladder and went to the toilet upon entering the restaurant. Upon emptying his bladder, he announced to us "There was a penny in the toilet. Now there is Two Pee."
I groaned, my sister rolled her eyes and my step mum nearly killed him. My then girlfriend was just mortified (first time she'd met my dad).
At the end of the meal, my dad went to the toilet again. This time he came out with a 2p coin in a tissue, drying it. My then girlfriend was just looked at me as if to say "you're father is mental how are you sane."
I pointed out to my dad the flaw in his trick, stating he'd said it was a penny, not a 2p coin. I think my step mum hit him shortly after he dropped me off at my mum's...
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practicing it a lot.”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”
He said, “Thanks dad, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
He replied, “Thanks dad! I’ve been practicing a lot!"
“I used to love tractors.”
I had to put my foot down
....So I had to put my foot down.
He said, "Sure dad!"
I shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
He said, “That’s Superman!”
I said, “Thanks son, I’ve been practicing a lot!”
