I saw another redditor do this, and I wanted to give my take on it.
1. JACKSONVILLE: Kayvon Thibodeaux - EDGE - Oregon
Jacksonville is such an embarrasment at this point, there are multiple ways you can go with this. But the obvious option is to go with best player first and fitting in Thibodeaux to their defense would be a good start. Kayvon is a former ESPN Top 100 player and he really showed out for the Ducks. His combination of burst off the line, using his powerful hands to throw defenders aside and his lateral mobility could pay dividends on Jacksonville's defense.
2. DETROIT: Aidan Hutchinson - EDGE - Michigan
Detroit has multiple things wrong with their team on both sides of the pigskin. I personally think they should go and bulk up the defense before they add touches to the offense. Adding Hutchinson, a very versatile, and quick for his size, 4-3 defensive end from The Mitten State. He was also a Heisman finalist which showed his true potential. Detroit should go with best player available here as well, adding to their already average defensive line.
3. HOUSTON: Evan Neal - OT - Alabama
Although Houston's O-line seems pretty sturdy, it wouldn't hurt to add some depth to it. They could also go QB here to replace Tyrod Taylor or Deshaun Watson. But I think Houston should wait it out and grab the former 5-star recruit from IMG Academy. His massive frame will fit in perfect on Houston's offensive line and he's also very dominant when it comes to run blocking.
4. NY JETS: Kyle Hamilton - S - Notre Dame
Ever since Jamal Adams left the Big Apple, the Jets secondary hasn't had that kind of success he brought. Going with the highest rated player in the draft, and a top tier safety prospect can go a long way for them. Let's face it the Jets are also in need of a lot of positions, but adding to their defensive back unit will give them a jolt of energy. Hamilton is so smooth and has such amazing range. Hamilton also has very nice hit power coming across the field. I personally think this will be a really good draft choice.
5. NY GIANTS: Ikem Ekonwu - OL - NC State
Let's face it the Giants are terrible, and their offensive line isn't helping them carry the rock. That's why they're one of the lowest in YPG, and TD's. They are also in desperate need of a young lineman to replace aging Nate Solder. This spot may be a little high for him, but Ikem Eknowu would fit in perfect with Joe Judge's offense. Ekonwu is an amazing
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
By Julie K. Brown + Ben Wieder | Paywall Link to article
December 28, 2021 9:26 AM
The line at the Thurgood Marshall United States Courthouse in lower Manhattan begins in the dead cold of night, with a handful of men, shivering under blankets or umbrellas, huddling sometimes in a nearby parked car to keep warm in the wee hours of the morning.
The line-sitters, as they are called, earn $30 to $50 an hour for holding a place in line from 2 to 7 a.m. for those who can afford it — mostly journalists, but some members of the public — to guarantee themselves a seat in the courtroom where British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell is on trial, charged with sexual trafficking. The jury is presently deliberating her fate.
Liz Stein can’t afford a line-sitter, so she waits in line almost every day.
She takes a two-hour Greyhound bus ride from her home in Center City, Philadelphia, to the bus depot in midtown Manhattan. She then takes the subway to downtown and walks to Foley Square to wait in front of the courthouse, often in the bitter wind, her feet numb, along with everyone else. At the end of the day, she makes the same two-hour trip back home.
On a good day, the line at the courthouse is short, and she gets into the main courtroom with no questions asked.
On this day, Stein, 48, is dressed impeccably, wearing a bright pink wool coat on top of a blazer, a black skirt and practical shoes; there is often a strand of pearls or a delicate gold locket around her neck.
She sits in the overflow gallery, a backpack at her feet. Inside, are two Victoria’s Secret nightgowns and a black Escada ball gown. She says these items were given to her more than two decades ago by Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein, a vivid and painful reminder of the sexual assaults she says she suffered as a 21-year-old college student.
Maxwell is accused of procuring women, some of them underage, for her boyfriend Epstein, and sometimes participating in sexual abuse.
The court’s hierarchy, which gives priority seating to Maxwell’s family in the front row of the main courtroom, then to New York-based media and law enforcement, has not guaranteed Stein or other accusers a place in the main courtroom. Most of them have been relegated to overflow courtrooms on other floors, with a video screen showing a fraction of the main courtroom. The audio is not always reliable, and at times, it’s difficult to know which lawyer is spea
... keep reading on reddit ➡Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
I intend to start my D&D campaign locked inside an old hotel that says it heals stress and clears you of trauma when staying there. But until you are healed you cannot leave the premise.So I need 100 "people" that they could encounter.
- Jan, the eternal actor. He made a deal to with the hotel, he can stay there forever as long as he pretends to be a normal guest and socialize with new guests. But 200 years later he is getting tired of his job and is trying to figure out a way to get out. u/Mudbucketguy
- Lantern, A fire genasi that lost some friends in an attack and is selling old trinkets to other inhabitants as a symbolic way to get rid of their past. u/Mudbucketguy
- Carling, A Halfling that technically should have left the hotel, but is hiding around the hotel. You can see him hiding somewhere odd. u/Mudbucketguy
- The Noise. A passing voice whispering three words, three steps on the stairs then nothing, three notes of a song you heard in your childhood? That was probably an entity known as The Noise. u/Mudbucketguy
- Shilera, A half-elf woman in her 100s. She tries to get over the death of her human husband. Nothing really special about her, she is willing to answer questions as far as she knows. She knows a few cantrips and 1st level cleric spells. She has a necklace around her neck of some good aligned god. u/Mudbucketguy
- Bill Jenkins. He's just a regular human conducting some business nearby. He's been here for a few days and has been a lovely guest. By u/booper
- Grex, orc cleric of Gruumsh. He's kind of a dick. By u/booper
- Old Man Rivers, A human level 20 wizard with dementia. u/AineOmniOS
- Masque: A powerful transmutation wizard, they enjoy shifting their forms to look like different people. Nobody there is actually sure what they really look like, but they always wear a black Zoro mask. u/James1gal
- Stephan: A vampire that is going through a crisis after waking up from being sealed for 500 years, and now he is trying to figure out how to fit in. Will randomly ask people about current events and popular trends. u/James1gal
- Tiir’isia: A slightly crazy Great Old One patron Warlock. Her name is actually Teresa, but she started spelling it weird a few months after she got her patron. She is relatively friendly, but she tries to convince anyone who talks to her to worship her Patron that she claims is called Z'exh'vhi the Flower with 10000 eyes. She has a book written in Deep Speech that if translated and read appears to
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
There hasn't been a post all year!
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
In Matt Waldman's Top 10 from Week 6 column, he recommends Waddle and Tua as buy-lows. He's well known for his deep football analysis. Great account to follow on game days as he'll pick out plays to analyze. Anyways, here's the full text from his column, follow the embedded links to see the clip and narration:
> Jaylen Waddle has been every bit as impressive as JaMarr Chase. For those who give greater weight to the vertical passing game, this statement will be difficult for them to reconcile. Although Waddle and Chase both have promising quarterback play — more on Tagovailoa in a moment, Waddle is operating without comparable surrounding talent at wide receiver.
> Will Fuller, the cicada of fantasy football, is once again underground. DeVante Parker has always been a great physical talent but he's not a complete receiver and he's also hurt. Preston Williams would be fighting for the fourth spot on the Bengals' depth chart. The result is that Waddle has become a faster Jarvis Landry in function for Miami — 24th in PPR value at his position, but 9th overall in receptions.
> Compared inaccurately to Henry Ruggs because fans and media can be guilty of logo scouting instead of examining the film and data scouting, Waddle makes plays in the quick game and the middle of the field that was not Ruggs' game last year. Ruggs doesn't run short and intermediate routes in the flats or the middle of the field as well as Waddle.
> He's also not an option on quick-hitting red-zone plays that require, timing, quick releases, and toughness at the catch point. While Waddle doesn't show all three on this touchdown below, the timing he and Tagovailoa display here is impeccable.
> Excellent feet by Tua on the built-in option to throw of the slant to Waddle
> While Chase — my highest-scoring receiver ever in my evaluations at the position in the Rookie Scouting Portfolio — is undeniably playing great football, he's earning a lot of one-on-one opportunities thanks to Tyler Boyd and Tee Higgins. In contrast, Waddle is opening opportunities for Miami's other receivers, who aren't as talented as the Bengals' rotation.
> Waddle’s presence short opens the zone even more foe Gesicki
> [Waddle opening things again for the TE](https://twitter.com/MattWaldman/status/14497734107
... keep reading on reddit ➡
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
When I got home, they were still there.
