They tracked him down to the Perućica forest with their search hounds and advanced technology. 12 men scattered the thick woods, donning heavy Kevlar armor, flashlights and rifles.
At a distance, overseeing the entire operation, stood a general and his sergeant. Even though they were adequately dressed for the weather, they could be seen rubbing their hands frantically every so often to fight off the snowy cold of February.
"Ne bi trebao biti vani ^(<You should not be out here, general>)", advised the sergeant, "Preopasan je i već je izveo još 14 taktičkih jedinica koje smo poslali po njega ^(<He is too dangerous and has already taken out 14 other tactical units we sent for him>)".
Without breaking his gaze from the forest ahead, the general responded, "Ovaj ološ je ubio mog sina i poslao mi njegovu odsječenu glavu ... Upravo ovdje moram biti ^(<This scum has killed my son and parceled me his severed head... This is exactly where I need to be>)".
A moment of brief silence ensued before gunshots and dogs barking were heard in the distance that also echoed loudly on the sergeant's intercom. He quickly grabbed it out of the holster, put it closer to his mouth and inquired, "Izvještaj o statusu! ^(<Status report!>)".
"Muškarci dolje! Muškarci dolje! ^(<Men down! Men down!>)", a man could be heard shouting through their intercom.
"Kaplare, koliko? ^(<Corporal, how many?>)", asked the sergeant, his anticipating breaths were visible in the cold fog.
"Najmanje 8, gospodine ^(<At least 8, sir>)", responded the man on the line, "Gotovo svi naši psi su takođe mrtvi, osim jednog ^(<Almost all our dogs are dead too except one>)".
"Imate li vizuelno? ^(<Do you have visual?>)", questioned the sergeant.
"N-", replied the man before another gun shot blared through the intercom, followed by a few more shortly after.
"Izvještaj o statusu! ^(<Status report!>)", asked the sergeant eagerly.
There was no response from the other side. The sergeant yelled once more, "Izvještaj o statusu! ^(<Status report!>)".
Again, his command was met with radio silence. At least for a few uncomfortable moments causing the sergeant to try once more in a plainer non-formal manner, "Šta se dođavola tamo događa? ^(<What the hell is going on out there?>)".
"Mislim da sam ga upucao, gospodine! ^(<I think I shot him, sir!>)", a different voice came from the intercom.
"Privatniče, imaš l
... keep reading on reddit ➡
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
